SNF Live-Blog: Bears @ Vikings, 1st Half

Sunday, November 30, 2008


It's not a live-blog of a Bears game without a photo of Kyle Orton out on the town, really. Blog law, y'know.

Al just referred to the "friendly confines of Soldier Field" when referring to the rest of the Bears' schedule. NO. MAKE IT STOP.

The Vikings are wearing the old purple uniforms without all that silly piping and sheen. Why not go back to those, Minnesota? Peterson is smashed at the line by the Bears on 2nd down. 3rd down pass is incomplete, looked like it was going to Shancoe and Urlacher was covering him. Kluwe to punt to Hester, it bounces, and the Vikings down it inside the 1.

Brad Childress, the fierce urgency of now really would dictate having a better quarterback than Gus Frerotte. I would have to vote for Childress as the NFC's Peter Principle Coach. (The AFC's? Norv Turner, of course!)

Robbie Gould will kick off and it goes all the way into the end zone for a touchback. Frerotte completes his first pass to Bernard Berrian across the 30 for a first down right off the bat. Adrian Peterson busts through to the 38 on his first carry. Swing pass on 2nd to Jeff Dugan for another first down. 2nd and 11 is another Peterson run up the middle, and Frerotte's going to have to throw again for a first....and Alex Brown sacks him on 3rd down.

"Brad Childress says that he's a violent runner." - John Madden (via JFein), on Adrian Peterson

Chicago will start at its own 20 thanks to a punt trickling into the end zone.

Orton throws two passes out of the gun to start, both are incomplete to Des Clark and Greg Olsen, respectively. 3rd and 10. Orton's sacked, but it's due to an offsides on Minny. So, now we get 3rd and 5 thanks to the most penalized team in the league. Doesn't matter though, as Orton's 3rd down pass is tipped and nearly picked off. Brad Maynard punts to Berrian, who gets knocked back on the return 3 yards.

Peterson gets a couple, up at the 32. He gets the carry on 2nd down for 2 more. Tommie Harris comes in and smothers Frerotte on 3rd down. Chris Kluwe punts to Devin Hester, fair catch. No one said it was going to be a pretty game offensively, but this is not a good sign.

I am glad to see Brandon Lloyd dropping passes for a team other than the Niners. - 49er16

Redskins fans would also like to affirm that statement.

"You can choose your own cameras; channel your inner Drew Esocoff." - Al Michaels on being able to go to nbc.com and watch the games by choosing your own cameras, etc. (via JFein)

Matt Forte finally gets his first carry for 3 yards. Oh, sheeeit.....Orton to Hester and two dudes completely missed him. Hester makes like EPMD and is housin'. TOUCHDOWN, BEARS!

Gould's XP is good, 7-0, da Bears.

Earl Bennett wails on the Minny kickoff returner at the 16.

"Hester made him look like he'd never played before." - John, on safety Darren Sharper.

Peterson only gets a yard or two on the carry on first down. Frerotte fires a rocket to Visanthe Shincoe for 20 yards at the 38. Next pass is incomplete to Bobby Wade past midfield. Peterson gets stuffed again, the third down pass is incomplete. Vikes punt and down it inside the Bears' 1, but Lovie Smith is challenging, saying the Viking player was in the end zone when he touched the ball.

Smith wins the challenge, and Matt Forte busts out for 18 to the 38 yard line after the Bears start at the 20. False start flagged, then the next pass to Hester is incomplete. Screen to Hester on 2nd and 15 gets nothing. Brandon Lloyd hauls in the 3rd and 15 on the sidelines, and the Bears are in Vikings territory.

1st and 10 on the 43, and Forte gets nailed in the backfield. Another 2nd and long coming up. Orton overthrows Hester on the sideline. Another pass to Hester on 3rd down, and he can't bring it in. Maynard will be punting again after a good defensive play by Winfield at defensive back. The Bears down it at about the 4 yard line.

That is why Adrian Peterson is Purple Jesus: he dragged six or seven Bears with him for 10 yards and a first down on that carry. But then, Mike Brown gets him in the backfield on the next play. 2nd and 12 is over Berrian's head. Screen to Chester Taylor gets up to the 20, but it's still short. Kluwe's punt is caught by Hester, but he can't get anywhere before being tackled.

"His family still lives in St. Louis. So that's a problem. But he loves the paycheck." - John on Frerotte
"Don't we all these days, with this economy!" - Al, laughing

Forte gets two yards on the first carry, as Andrea talks about the StarCaps deal with Kevin and Pat Williams as the first quarter ends. It does sound like a raw deal -- I mean, there's a banned substance, but the NFL didn't tell the Players' Association about it?

Mike Brown, jubilant for actually making a play for the first time since 2001, proceeds to tear his ACL and MCL and is out for the season. - SSReporters

Ha. Jared Allen savages Orton like a bouncer throwing a drunk out after he's been 86ed from the bar on 3rd down. Berrian fair catches Maynard's punt at the Vikings' 35.

Holy crap, AP is good. He bounced off the end for what seemed like 4 yards, and then got sprung down the sideline, Charles Tillman saved a touchdown (for now) by tackling him at the Bears' 5 yard line. Frerotte is nearly picked on 2nd and goal, as it's tipped and almost retrieved by Urlacher. 3rd down is going to Bobby Wade, and it's incomplete -- and Frerotte is on the ground, hurt.

Al: "Gus Frerotte - the modern day 'Suitcase Simpson'". Whatever the heck that means. - Mal

Well, the Bears handle luggage kind of rough, even if you put "Fragile" stickers on it. Ryan Longwell's FG attempt is up and good, 7-3, Bears.

Generally, I'm of the opinion that too many late hits on QBs in the pros and college are overreactions over split seconds, but Adewale Ogunleye is going to be hearing from Lord Rog on that later this week -- in the form of a fine -- for that one on Frerotte that didn't get called.

Danyel Manning takes the kickoff and gets all the way to the Bears' 47 for great field position. 3rd and 2 is caught by Rashied Davis, but he might be short, and there's a flag, too. Illegal formation and that actually cancels the first down.

"It's the first cousin to a false start." - Al, on illegal formation. Forte gets six of the seven needed for a first down, and the Bears will punt on 4th and 1. Maynard's kick rolls out of bounds at the Minny 4.

Finally, a Prince bump! "I Would Die 4 U." Nice choice. Now, NBC, give us some Husker Du and Lifter Puller. Maybe some Replacements while you're at it. Peterson gets knocked for a couple for a loss on the first down carry. More stops, and Chester Taylor only gets up to the 7 on third down. Kluwe will punt again. Hester takes the return out of bounds at the Minny 46.

And we get the Heidi Klum Guitar Hero ad. Frankly, I'm disappointed that they didn't use the director's cut version:



So the Bears' direct-snap is "Cajun" if it's Matt Forte back there and "Cane" if Devin Hester is back. 3rd and long has Orton sacked, but another offsides penalty. 3rd and 4 gets stuffed by one of the Williams linemen. Flag in the secondary -- personal foul on the Vikes, and a 1st down for the Bears. Nice cheap shot, Benny Sapp.

And Forte makes 'em pay by getting around the corner and running all the way to the Vikes' 4 yard line. 1st and goal. Orton throws it out of the end zone since everyone's covered.

"Benny Sapp, feeling like one now." Al, after that awful penalty he committed (via Yet Another Idiot With a Music Blog)

Forte is stuffed on 2nd down just shy of the goal line. Fullback Jason Davis tries to ram it in on 3rd and goal and he's stopped too. Bears are going for it, and Jared Allen comes up to make the stop! Turnover on downs, and Benny Sapp just got bailed out big time.

Lovie Smith and Ron Turner need to have their heads examined for not even bothering to change the play call. How about some play action, guys? Frerotte hits Bernard Berrian, and he's going 99 yards for the score. TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS!

"Frerotte bounced back rather quickly, didn't he?" - John
"I'll say!" - Al

Longwell's kick is up and good, 10-7, Vikings.

Forte is out to about the 38 after a carry and picks up the first down on the next play.

"Unless they come with 50,000 dollars, they're not getting a date." - John, quoting Pat Williams' stance on boys wanting to date his daughters.

The Mortal Adrian Peterson gets a carry for the Bears for a few yards to set up a 3rd and 5. That has to suck, sharing a name with a superstar. You almost feel like you have to change it, even though you've been in the league longer. Mortal Adrian Peterson drops the pass for the Bears. Maynard punts and it goes out of bounds at the 14.

Purple Jesus gets a yard on the carry. They're driving and have two timeouts at the two minute warning, looking to tack on three or seven more.

PJ gets 16 more and is up to the 41 now. Bobby Wade catches a pass from Frerotte and brings it up to the Chicago 44. Berrian gets tackled after a short pass, and there will be 15 more yards thanks to a horse collar tackle by Charles Tillman. 22 yards total on the pass and the penalty.

"That's a horse collar's horse collar." - John
"Even Roy Williams would admit that that's a penalty." - Al
"You could look that up as the definition of a horse-collar tackle." - John
"It's a Clydesdale." - Al

Frerotte over the middle to Jim Kleinsaucer in the end zone -- and it's TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS!
This is being reviewed by the booth, and it's being reversed. Kleinsaucer was down at the "quarter-yard" line.

"Let me get this straight now: that would be the nine-inch line." - Al, following it with a drop of "Nine Inch Nails."

Al just referenced Nine Inch Nails? Dear God... Al's head would probably explode if he heard the entirety of a Trent Renzor song. - Yet Another Idiot With a Music Blog


Al's got a head like a hole.

Frerotte on the QB sneak on first and goal, and we have our TOUCHDOWN, VIKINGS, followed by a kind of goofy looking spike.

"That's a man's spike." - John
"That one's for Kleinsaucer." - Al

Longwell's PAT is good, 17-7, Vikings.


Is Andy Reid coaching for the Bears? how else to explain that goal line stance and the play calling. As an Eagles fan, I know I've seen that sequence before. - walnuts

The mention of that fat walrus' name pisses me off right now. I'm sorry, but after four weeks of forgetting that Brian Westbrook exists, he then goes back to him for four touchdowns and I've gotten sick of it, so I benched him.

FUCK YOU, FAT ANDY.

The Bears run out the clock to let the half expire. 17-7, Vikes at the half. See you in the second half thread. But first, a musical break featuring Al's new favorite artist for you. (I would embed it but Trent Reznor or his record company do not like embedding and have disabled it on YouTube.)

81 Comments:

What was up with the lack of a crowd at Giants Stadium today? It looked as though there were a lot of empty seats, even from the get-go.

Diana said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:11:00 PM  

Orton: "Not even Derek Jeter can score this much tail in one night."

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:15:00 PM  

And don't forget, it's a Flex Game next week with the Battle of the Beltway between the Redskins and the Ravens...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:17:00 PM  

James - I'm looking forward to that. I've not had a chance to watch the Ravens on TV this year, and so I want to see what Joe Flacco is capable of.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:20:00 PM  

And some Hell's Bells by AC/DC to start. Did you know the bell used is the one used at Citizens Bank Park when the Phillies hit a homer with the big Liberty Bell sculpture?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:21:00 PM  

And +1 to 49er16 on the Kyle Orton comment.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:22:00 PM  

Just to the left of Orton is Rex Grossman with three chubby brunettes.

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:23:00 PM  

Check that. +1 to Mal.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

Vikings old uniforms > Vikings new uniforms.

I actually heard somewhere at the beginning of the year that the Vikes have a yellow one lined up this year..

"Brad Childress says that he's a violent runner." - John Madden

If only that statement did not have the context of Adrian Peterson....

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:26:00 PM  

And bring me The Sword of Urlacher!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:26:00 PM  

Is it me or does Kyle Orton look like Ken Burns with the beard?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:31:00 PM  

Come on Chicago, I'm 10-4 this week!

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:31:00 PM  

Hey, Bill Leavy!!!! Love ya Billo!

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:32:00 PM  

"This is a tough place to hear." - John Madden

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:33:00 PM  

I am glad to see Brandon Lloyd dropping passes for a team other than the Niners.

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:34:00 PM  

"You can choose your own cameras; channel your inner Drew Esocoff." - Al Michaels on being able to go to nbc.com and watch the games by choosing your own cameras, etc.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:36:00 PM  

You know you have been playing a long time if your daughter is in High School.

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:38:00 PM  

@Diana: Steady rain all day in the Meadowlands, was heavy at times.

Anonymous said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

"Just look at the hole in the middle there." - John Madden

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

"Urlacher's going to come right there and get penetration." - John Madden

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:47:00 PM  

It certainly took Lovie long enough to challenge that. I think he might win it.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:52:00 PM  

Diana, we have had much of the same in the east today.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:52:00 PM  

Has the Subway commercial replaced the "Saved By Zero" commercial as the most annoying.

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 8:53:00 PM  

I like how several of the Vikings D said that their school was high schools, one of them said "grade school", and Jared Allen said "culinary academy". As a Bears fan, I'm also liking the score so far.

Nov 30, 2008, 8:59:00 PM  

Mike Brown, jubilant for actually making a play for the first time since 2001, proceeds to tear his ACL and MCL and is out for the season.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:01:00 PM  

Madden: "He (Frerotte) loves the paycheck".

Al: "Don't we all".

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:04:00 PM  

"These guys have a little bit of mystery surrounding them." - Al Michaels on the Williams' potential suspension.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:04:00 PM  

Al: "Gus Frerotte - the modern day 'Suitecase Simpson'". Whatever the heck that means.

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:09:00 PM  

Paging Tavaris Jackson.....

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:13:00 PM  

It's Tavaris Jackson time!

There may not be a flag, but Ogunlye is going to be losing some money this week.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:13:00 PM  

Wiki says that there was a baseball player from the middle of the century named Harry Leon "Suitcase" Simpson who played for a bunch of teams... and THAT name came from a character named "Suitcase Simpson" in a comic strip, from the FIRST HALF of the 20th century. Basically, Al's joke was meant for people on Social Security.

I'm a Bears fan and even I think that hit on Gus was late, and I don't want to see him go out that way.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:15:00 PM  

How was there no penalty?


Oh wait, Bill Leavy was under scrutiny for Super Bowl XL....

Honestly his calls sucked, but Jerramy Stevens......I'm on a tangent, let me stop.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:16:00 PM  

I AM A TERRORIST READY TO BOMB!!! AYYEYEYEYEYEYEY!!!!

Muslim Man said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

Ugh, they're already starting to promote Cowboys-Giants....IN 2 WEEKS!

"He certainly looks like the old Hester." - Al Michaels

Apparently there are two Devin Hester's.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:19:00 PM  

"Bill Levy, one of the best in the league. Reffed a Super Bowl between Pittsburgh and Seattle." - Al Michaels

HA! Seahawks fans are pulling their hair out at this moment and calling Al Michaels an f'ing douche he has no idea what he's talking about.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:20:00 PM  

Of course, the bumper music is Prince. I figured they wouldn't go with Husker Du or The Replacements; then again, I prefer Prince to either of those rock bands.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:23:00 PM  

@ JFein: The "old" Hester was Devin's grandfather, Jebediah "Overnight Bag" Hester. He played in the old AFL Pottsville Maroons, Newark Bears and Brooklyn Horsemen.

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:25:00 PM  

You know, the idea posted on another board of Gus feigning the effects of the hit a la a soccer player seems to be true.

I thought for a moment the word verification code was "herpes" but instead it was "herpers". My bad.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:25:00 PM  

Oh man, while I certainly do not wish harm on Frerotte and I'm glad he's all right, I was personally hoping to see Tavaris Jackson.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:26:00 PM  

+1, Mal.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:26:00 PM  

This Guitar Hero commercial teeters toward retardation.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:27:00 PM  

The Bears call the wildcat the "Cajun"....Sigh.....

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:29:00 PM  

Bob Costas has a smaller dick than me.

Pam Ward said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:30:00 PM  

Madden is right, everyone knows what is coming when a team lines up in a "wildcat" formation.

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:30:00 PM  

SSR - that's only because they didn't show the full lingerie version.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

A Brad Pitt interview? Who gives a flying fuck! I sure as hell don't! I couldn't care less about "Brangelina".

"Benny Sapp, feeling like one now" Al, after that awful penalty he committed.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

@ S2N: You're my new hero for finding and posting that video...

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

What was that, Orton?

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:33:00 PM  

Lovie Smith has got to be fired.


You mean to tell me that you want to run the ball against the Vikings in short yardage? That's so dumb.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:36:00 PM  

Holy fuck, a 99 yard play! I now wish I didn't admit earlier in the thread that I'm a Bears fan.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

"Sapp just feels like he got out of a jail card for free." - Al Michaels misnaming the famous Monopoly card.

And on a side note, generally channeling Andy Reid is NOT a good idea, Lovie Smith.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

Wow a 7 point swing. Think the Bears miss Berrian much?

49er16 said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:38:00 PM  

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

I don't care if the ball is on the one millimeter "line", how do you leave a guy like Berrian so wide open?

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:38:00 PM  

Charles Tillman, congratulations on the worst play by a DB this season.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:38:00 PM  

And concussion boy hits Berrian at full speed for the easiest 99 yard touchdown you'll ever see.

J said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:39:00 PM  

thank you for the masturbation material signal to noise.

Anonymous said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:40:00 PM  

So Pat Williams doesn't allow his daughters to date, even though they're high school aged? What a charming and lovable cad he is!

There's the "food shot" that Al and John demand each Sunday night. I can't wait until they start discussing their favorite foods later in the broadcast.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:45:00 PM  

"If you like hitting, you like defense, you like line-play, you're going to love this one." - John Madden forgetting that earlier this year these two played one of the highest scoring games of the season and more recently (and perhaps more disturbingly) the fact that the Vikes just tied the record for longest pass in NFL history.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:45:00 PM  

Running the ball against the vikings defense doesn't work.. fine.

Kick the FG on 4th down and take a 10-3 on the road. That's gravy.

Degenerasian said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:46:00 PM  

@ Degenerasian, I meant pass the ball.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:48:00 PM  

You guys are all perverts so get on the motherfuckin ground.

Chris Hansen said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:49:00 PM  

Okay, the only thing I learned about Bud Light from that commercial is that you can drink it.

I would be greatly disturbed if it didn't have drinkibility.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:49:00 PM  

@SSReporters: ah yes

I don't mind the play calling. They did try to throw it on first down then 2 runs.

But you gotta take the points. 10-3 on the road is great! And you don't give momentum back.

Degenerasian said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:50:00 PM  

"Adrian Peterson has never met a run he didn't like." - John Madden

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:51:00 PM  

John: "That's a horse collar's, horse collar".

Al: "That's the fully clydesdale".

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:53:00 PM  

@ Degenerasian, I'm more of a "knock them out" early kind of guy. A 14-3 lead is better, I'd be a very aggressive coach.


Meanwhile, the Bears defense is terrible.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:53:00 PM  

Looks like the late hit woke concussion boy up.

J said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:54:00 PM  

"That's a horsecollar's horsecollar." - John Madden making little sense.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:54:00 PM  

Is Andy Reid coaching for the Bears? how else to explain that goal line stance and the play calling. As an Eagles fan, I know I've seen that sequence before.

walnuts said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:55:00 PM  

"And after that late hit...it kinda woke Frerrote up a bit..."-Madden

Good to know I'm thinking just like him. Somebody shoot me.

J said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:55:00 PM  

What BS.

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:55:00 PM  

Same goal line stand happened today with the Charges stopping the Falcons at the one on four straight plays.

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:56:00 PM  

@SSReporters

I would agree with you if the Bears were at home.

Vikings had done nothing and I don't want to risk giving them and their crowd anything to cheer about. 10-3 for me :)

Degenerasian said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:56:00 PM  

Al just referenced Nine Inch Nails? Dear God... Al's head would probably explode if he heard the entirety of a Trent Renzor song.

Nov 30, 2008, 9:56:00 PM  

"There you go. Nine Inch Nails right there." - Al Michaels

Oh my god...I have tears in my eyes right now.

JFein said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:56:00 PM  

"That's a man spike"-Madden.

Does that come with a nine inch nail?

J said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:57:00 PM  

"That's a man's spike." - Al Michaels

SSReporters said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:57:00 PM  

Al: "There you've got nine inch nails left right there". Referring to the spot after the challenge.

"It looks like he got at least nine inch nails on the play" - Al commenting on Frerotte's QB sneak for a TD.

Mal said...
Nov 30, 2008, 9:58:00 PM  

""Frerotte, who looks like he might be out for the game, maybe the rest of the season winds up tying an NFL record with a 99 yard touchdown pass..." - AL

Jeezus, he got hit late, but am I the only person on earth who laughed at the horrible acting job trying to draw a flag? WTF

Anonymous said...
Nov 30, 2008, 10:04:00 PM  

I agree, anon. It looked like he was just bumped and went down like a sack of potatoes.

walnuts said...
Nov 30, 2008, 10:06:00 PM  

Stay classy, Muslim Man, "Pam Ward", Anon 9:40 PM and "Chris Hansen".

JamesCraven said...
Dec 1, 2008, 2:28:00 AM  

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