The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week 11
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Hiya, everyone. Shall we get started?
Here's your college football announcing schedule for Week 11, and let's have at it. A reminder of where your top five in the Pammies will be today:
1. Lou Holtz - in studio, of course
2. Pam Ward - calling Michigan @ Minnesota on ESPN
3. Gary Danielson - he will be letting the good times roll in Baton Rouge for Bama/LSU
4. Mike Patrick - calling the Holy War between Notre Dame and Boston College tonight
5. Petros Papadakis - color for a crappy Stanford-Oregon match-up on FSN.
"Where is that guy?" - Lee Corso, with his Alabama elephant head on
"Get over there and smack him too." - Kirk Herbstreit, referring to Chris Fowler
"You know it's cold when your broadcast partner shows up with a hand-warmer. This may be the first game that I don't take off this jacket all day." - Andre Ware, talking about the chill in the Windy City suburb of Evanston for the OSU-N'Western game.
"At the top of the screen, you will see the offensive members, er, starters, of the Minnesota team." - Pam Ward (via JFein)
"He just had a hangover from those concussions" - Ray Bentley (via JFein)
"It's a gold out today." - Pam Ward (via JFein)
"You know, I think this is a sign of the Big 10 being better than everyone thinks it is, when Wisconsin, a top 10 team before the season started, being at the bottom of the conference." - Dave Pasch. There is no way to quantify just how dumb that statement was.
"It's easy for us to say go for it up here. We don't have to live with the fails." - Doc Walker on UNC going for it on 4th and 1 (via JG)
"Minor sticks it up in there." - Pam Ward (via DWS)
"The welcoming committee brings the jackhammer." - Doc Walker after a gang tackle by UNC (via JG)
"You have to wonder if [Minnesota] is suffering from a hangover right now." - Ray Bentley on Minnesota's heartbreaking lost last week and their subsequent poor performance thus far against Michigan (via JFein)
He notes that this is the second time that Bentley has mentioned hangovers. Do we need to send Pedialyte up to the booth in the Metrodome?
"Georgia moving the football like a warm knife through warm butter." - Dave Neal (via Mal)
"A lot of parity across the board, although Penn State is head and shoulders better than everyone else" - Ray Bentley contradicting himself (via JFein)
"When he's that strong, it's just, take your medicine right there.. How do you want it? On the ground or in the air?" - Andre Ware after Terrelle Pryor throws a touchdown pass.
"Cam Johnson, cyborg" - Doc Walker on a 4th down tackle by UNC's Cam Johnson
"Our first cyborg of the day." - Steve Martin (via JG)
"He's got two brahma bulls on him, some hand to hand combat." - Doc Walker on a UNC DL getting double teamed (via JG)
Game note: those of you who get it on FSN should switch to Baylor-Texas. Robert Griffin, the QB for Baylor, is a BEAST in the same mold that Terrelle Pryor is from. He's thrown for one TD and run for another, and the game is tied -- much better than the impending blowout in Evanston or the crap-fest in the Metrodome.
"He had a three man welcoming comittee saying 'Welcome to Chapel Hill.'". - Doc Walker as three UNC players hit GA Tech's QB at the same time, game is at UNC (via JG)
"He tries to jam that thing in there." - Ray Bentley (via JFein)
"That was the last four drives, Minnesota had five straight five-and-outs." - Pam Ward (via milestarver)
"For the oldest rivalry trophy you have to go out West for the Territorial Cup between Arizona and Arizona State. They've been playing for it since 1899...no, I won't say that John McCain was there for the first game, but it was tempting." - Pam Ward
"I'm glad you didn't say it." - Ray Bentley (via Andy Roberts)
THAT is why she's the matron saint of this feature, folks. A complete bumbling of the basic concepts of football on air, followed by a legitimately funny wisecrack. Love ya, Pam.
"The fans voicing their displeasure." - Andre Ware at the half, when all you could hear was the cheers of the Ohio State fans (via Anon)
"They had to get up before they were ready. Even big Dave Lapham doesn't get up this early!" Jim Knox explaining why Texas wasn't quite their usual selves early.
"I could use some nuggets up here. They're good." - Doc Walker after a Chick-fil-a promo (JG)
The distinct lack of Chik-fil-A in California kills me. Seriously.
"This would be a major major small victory for Northwestern." - Andre Ware referring to a potential 3rd down stop for the Northwestern defense (Dazzle)
"Boy, does Jordan Lake bring the wood." - Dave Lapham after a brutal hit by the Baylor linebacker
"They're trying to stay on GA Tech's heels, so to speak." - Steve Martin on the race in the ACC Coastal division, whether the pun was intended or not is unknown (JG)
"It's interference, they're going to get the ball there." - Dave Lapham, after a Baylor receiver drops a pass at the 3 but gets a flag on the Texas defender, forgetting that the college football rule is 15 yards, not the spot of the receiver -- the ball was thrown from about midfield.
"Let me say this: I'm just glad you didn't have some of that chili and eggs before you came up to the booth. It's close quarters in here, and I'm happy you didn't have any of that for breakfast." - Andre Ware, implying Dave Pasch is a unique source of natural gas after an OSU fan gives us a recipe for chili and eggs
"I would have, but he lost me with the special sauce." - Dave Pasch
Midwesterners love their chili in cold weather.
"Minnesota's defense gave 'em a little sugar. That's what you call a fake blitz; you give 'em a little sugar and you take it away. That's what caused the false start." - Ray Bentley after the Michigan line moves.
"The playmaker has yet to hit the dance floor." - Doc Walker on UNC's lack of offense (JG)
"If I called a game sometime like this, I wish that there were no false start penalties this late in the season." - Mike Morgan on South Carolina-Arkansas (Joe)
"Came down to a function at the junction, and I guarantee you Ryan Houston wasn't havin' it." --Doc Walker as Houston steamrolls a DB to give UNC a 14-0 lead (Anon)
"Couple of fumbles brought [Minnesota] back into field goal range." - Pam Ward making no sense. (JFein)
"Put the diamond leash on the puppy and take it out for a good, long walk." --Doc Walker, on the Houston run towards the endzone in the UNC/GT game (Tiffany)
"I'm fed up with all these 4.2 backs who cant get you a yard" - Doc Walker after GA Tech fails to convert 3rd and 1. (JG)
"And Cunningham with the catch." - Wayne Larrivee
"I can hear Arthur Fonzarelli calling him out back on the good ol' days." - Charles Davis, going for the really outdated reference and bungling it (Matt)
"Gideon shows some giddy up." - Dave Lapham on Texas' Blake Gideon making a tackle (Pete)
He slithers through the smallest of holes." - Pam Ward (JFein)
Game notes: These earlies on the national channels turned ugly quick. Minnesota looks like a joke against Meeeeeechigan, Northwestern supplied the butt for OSU to kick, and Baylor remembered they were, well, Baylor, and they're supposed to lose in Austin. Now for rotations: you have a choice between Penn State-Iowa, Alabama-LSU, and some of you might get Clemson-Florida State, if you're into bad football. And if there are some of you out there considering watching Stanford-Oregon on FSN: just walk away from the TV
"If you want to get to the championship game stay in the ACC and dominate." - Lou Holtz
"If you want to get to the championship game, go to the Big Ten and not play anybody and win." - Mark May after the discussion began with whether UNC coach would leave for somewhere else. (from JG)
"Who are the people that run college football? Fifty-and-older white, Southern men. Those are the people who run college football, and so to expect progress from them is a tough battle. They want someone who looks like them." - Spencer Tillman, while CBS holds a discussion on 4 black coaches in all of I-A college football. (I actually really hope I typed this out right; on a subject like that, I don't want to misquote him.)
"The fact that Texas Tech is number 2 in the BCS is a referendum on their coach and their offense." - Spencer Tillman (via Matt)
"Daryll Clark is back from La La Land." - Bob Griese, referring to the Penn State QB going out of the OSU game thanks to being concussed.
"He did the cell phone. Apparently the LSU fans who got ahold of Tim Tebow's cell phone got ahold of John Parker Wilson's." - Gary Danielson
"Tebow didn't get penalized for that." - Verne Lundquist
"The first one to do it never does." - Danielson, after JPW gets an unsportsmanlike call for doing a cell phone gesture after scoring.
"Anybody home?" - Lundquist
"That looked like Montana to Clark there. I can't tell you how much that looked like a play that happened at Candlestick." - Dave Archer (via Mal)
"That penalty by John Parker Wilson was one of the most selfish penalties on a championship team that I have ever seen." - Gary Danielson, engaging in a little bit of hyperbole
"I'm just gonna watch now." - Danielson, after he goes on a rant about LSU throwing a pick on 3rd and 17 deep in their own territory (via JG)
Uncle Gary has reached a new level of cranky this year.
"Stanford is really going to have to bring their lunch pale if they want to run the ball." - Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)
"Gets a block from Johnson and Johnson, that's a bandage right into the end zone." - Danielson
That's chuckle-worthy, as Alabama is having a series of screw-ups. JPW's celebration and then a fumble on the kickoff by Javier Arenas.
"John Parker Wilson is like a basketball player who's a good jump shooter. He can just spot up and throw, like a Steve Alford-type player....it's when he moves his feet that his coaches get nervous." - Gary Danielson
"He plays like his hair is on fire" - Barry Tompkins
"I don't think that would be safe" - Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)
Note via w_rabb: Tennessee has reached new levels of suck by losing to Wyoming 13-7. If the lame duck tenure of Fulmer doesn't end in ritual suicide, that will be somewhat shocking.
"He is like a mean brother on Thanksgiving day. He gives him a little leg and he takes it back away". - Brad Nessler (via JFein)
"It usually seems that these first quarters fly by, but it feels like we've seen everything already. I'm ready for a hot dog." - Danielson (via Mal)
"They played last year in Tussa... Tuscaloosa, come on you know that" - Verne Lundquist giving himself a pep talk (via Kid Ridiculous)
"This is a manly football game."- Danielson (via 49er16)
"Break open your bag of chips and crack open a cold one. This is real man football here." - Danielson, as we go to break.
"They all look like each other." - Paul Maguire on the Penn State running backs. (via JFein)
"This is not pretty, but if they get 45 points doing this , that'll be enough style points" - Griese explaining that even if ugly, actual points become style points over the 44 point threshold (via Gibbon Jockey)
"Probably as much action as you'll get from Calzaghe and Roy Jones, Jr." - Brad Nessler on the mascots literally duking it out (via JFein)
"Does Alabama go left behind Upshaw and Schell? I mean, Smith and Johnson?" - Uncle Gary Danielson, going for another 70s reference
"I've thrown those interceptions for touchdowns. It's hard to go back to the bench." - more Uncle Gary goodness, via Mal
"The guy did a Baryshnikov." - Lundquist (via Mal)
"Have you ever heard a PA that loud? They may have been putting on a public service announcement for the hearing impaired!" - Verne Lundquist, cracking wise.
"Saban will probably go conservative here"- Danielson, Alabama came out in 4 wides and JPW in shotgun, that was before half (via JG)
"They have 33 seconds which is like 2 and a half minutes for other people." - Ron Franklin on Oklahoma's offense. (via JG)
From some hack in the NC State/Duke game: "Just like Johnny Cash said, you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em" (via Guy LeDouche)
"We knew Wilson could win this, and Lee could lose this. As Lou Holtz said 'Son, you'll never throw more than seven interceptions, because after six, I'm taking you out." - Danielson (via JG)
"LSU needs the Wildcat formation " - Danielson on LSU's QB struggles (via JG)
"If they [Penn State] start every drive on the 11 yard line, they could run out the entire quarter." - Brad Nessler
"I picked Barack Obama, because he had the biggest win of the week. Didn't he win by 200 points or something? Anyway, Mr. President, call me if you want to talk about a playoff in college football." - Nessler, who apparently does not understand the electoral college
"Don't try to tackle [Iowa RB] Shonn Greene with one arm. You'll lose it." - Paul Maguire
"This is easy. They go to Hester here." - Danielson
"They would, but Hester is out west these days." - Lundquist
"Well, last year, they would have." - Danielson, on LSU's 4th and 1 try.
"Stanford is calling this (the weather) worse than it was last week. The product in my hair is already messed up." - Jim Watson (via BSPN)
"Coffee goes left..." - Lundquist
"Sounds like the election last Tuesday?" - Danielson
Just a little bit racialist. (via JG)
"That's the way you draw up a botched play." -Barry Tompkins (via Morgan Wick)
"He had a sense of urgency, I'll give you that." - Verne Lundquist on a timeout taken early in the play clock (via JFein); Saban looked furious on the sideline and was about to have a cardiac.
"Wilson to Julio Jones, my God, that looked like Harrell to Crabtree!" - Lundquist
Fade to the left sideline and everything, too.
We'd like to note just how useless Jarrett Lee is as a quarterback: 4 picks, including two to Rashad Johnson, one of those two in OT, as Alabama takes it in for the OT win on a QB sneak. With that, please continue to leave comments for the night games, particularly Texas Tech-Oklahoma State, which I will not have on TV because ABC will be showing Cal-USC instead on the West Coast.
Note to ESPN: If the #2 team in the country is playing, it should be a national game, period. End of discussion.
"Here comes the wild-tiger." - Verne Lundquist on LSU lining up in the wildcat formation.
324 Comments:
"He just had a hangover from those concussions" - Ray Bentley
I'll see what I can bring.....very POed after that joke of a "defense" with Man Utd falling to Arsenal and falling further out of the title race.
"It's a gold out today". - Pam Ward
Gold rush, Pam, everyone wearing gold is a gold rush, at least where I'm from. And besides, what sense does a "gold out make"?
Correction: "gold out" make?
Apparently I can't place quotes...
Nice, AA is so lazy he's hiring other people to do his "ESPN-centric" announcing awards. Pam Ward is not a bad announcer and you are all being sexist, give her a break.
It should really be called the Mike Patrick Awards or something, change the name every year instead of attacking this woman.
Pam Ward's voice embodies the Big Ten. They try to be men and run the football and play physical, but they show their feminine side when it matters most.
I know why Michigan and Minnesota is a game for a little brown jug: this will be the shittiest game I'll watch this year.
"Its easy for us to say go for it up here. We dont have to live with the fails" - Doc Walker on UNC gping for it on 4th and 1
@ AA hates ESPN and everyone else who thinks that Pam Ward is a good announcer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZUMXkHLqAI
And it's not sexist to call a female announcer a bad announcer. This was a point that was brought up earlier, but if you suck, you suck, regardless of if you're male, female, white, black, straight, homosexual, bisexual, trisexual.....and Pam Ward in my opinion and in the opinion of most college football fans, she definitley sucks. It is not sexist to say that someone sucks because they do not know what they are talking about when evidence exists, that, well, they don't know what they're talking about! Sorry to get all on my soapbox, I just think that it is an absurd argument that because one of the worst announcers out there is female, that not liking her is sexist.
"Minor, big....burst through the hole" - Pam Ward
PAM WARD CUNT SHIT FUCK ASS CLOWN DICK!!!! S2N SUCKS COCK BUT FUCKS WOMEN NIGHT AND DAY AND FUCKS AA AND COCK SHIT DICKY POOP SHIT PISS TIT CUM SEMEN JACKOFF!!!
For those of us in the NE area, the biggest little game is on, Williams/Amherst... awaaay we go...
shameless plug: enter promo code SLRSTS31 at YawkeyWayStore.com for 30% of all purchases
"Minor sticks it up in there."
-Pammy
"And he forgot the football" - Steve Martin after UNC's QB continues to run upfield after fumbling.
"The welcoming committee brings the jackhammer" - Doc Walker after a gang tackle by UNC
Pam Ward: Minor jams it up in there.
I think it was better because the person doing the jamming was a Minor.
jfein, men do the same thing but because Ward did it it's special. Hypocrisy at its best.
@ Dws: Thanks for posting that one. Pam was starting to say that at the same time I was flipping the channel. I heard "Minor sticks it...", but it was too late.
"Because of injuries, theyve got backups in. You have to remember there is a reason they are not starters." - Doc Walker on GA Tech's OL
@ aa hates espn: Well, when a male announcer suggests that a team should spike the ball on third down, I'll get back to you.
Don't feed the Trolls!
"That will give their punter a little more room." --Steve Martin after a third down pass play took UNC to the GT 33.
"You have to wonder if [Minnesota] is suffering from a hangover right now" - Ray Bentley on Minnesota's heartbreaking lost last week and their subsequent poor performance thus far against Michigan.
This is the second time that Bentley has mentioned a hangover. I wonder if he recently had a hangover of a different sort...
Dave Neal: "Georgia moving the football like a warm knife through warm butter".
No one cares what you think Philly boy, go fuck yourself and fuck this bullshit site, a once great concept has turned into a misogynistic, irrelevant and lazy monsterr.
"A lot of parity across the board, although Penn State is head and shoulders better than everyone else" - Ray Bentley contradicting himself.
"Cam Johnson Cyborg" - Doc Walker on a 4th down tackle by UNC's Cam Johnson
"Our first cyborg of the day." - Steve Martin
Did anyone see that Bowl graphic of the Big 10 tie-ins... "Capitol One" and "Champ Sports" were listed....
Funny, I always thought it was Capital One and Champs Sports...
Nice editing schmucks
What the heck is a cyborg?
"Its not how often you do it, its how well you do it." - Doc Walker after GA Tech attempts and completes its 1st pass with 11 min left in 2nd.
"He's got two brahma bulls on him, some hand to hand combat." - Doc Walker on a UNC DL gettin double teamed
"He had a three man welcoming comittee saying 'Welcome to Chapel Hill'". - Doc Walker as three UNC players hit GA Tech's QB at the same time, game is at UNC
Larry Coker : ESPNU with Rutgers / Syracuse:
"... is running very flat."
Huh? The field looks pretty flat from my TV.
Didn't catch runners name.
Coker has a fairly bland voice with no expression. Definitely no homerism either way! Sounds like he would rather be elsewhere.
Boatdrinks
I woke up this morning, found out Pam Ward was calling the Minnesota game, and was legitimately sad/disappointed.
Has any other person in sports had such a negative impact on fans before the game even started?
"Minnesota does indeed have it's first down" - Pam Ward trying to say "first first down".
"If you get some color there, your man might score." - Doc Walker on a missed block by GA Tech
"They play big boy football. They try to knock you off the ball." - Doc Walker on UNC's offense
"He tries to jam that thing in there" - Ray Bentley
"That was the last four drives, Minnesota had five straight five-and-outs." - Pam Ward
"For the oldest rivalry trophy you have to go out West for the Territorial Cup between Arizona and Arizona State. They've been playing for it since 1899...no, I won't say that John McCain was there for the first game, but it was tempting." - Pam Ward
"I'm glad you didn't say it." - Ray Bentley
"Although I will say that John McCain was there for the first game." - Pam Ward on the Territorial Cup, which is the oldest trophy exchanged in a college football rivalry (Arizona-Arizona State.) The tradition was first started in 1899.
Now that was funny! Kudos to Pam!
"The Fans voicing their displeasure" Andre Ware at the half, when all you could hear was the cheers of the Ohio State fans.
Scratch my quote on the territorial cup. Andy Roberts got it better and besides I burst out laughing when she said it and I guess I misquoted her. Either way, absolutely hilarious. Good job, Pam!
Wish I could describe how bad Charles Davis is....i turned on the tv to hear him call a fair catch the kind of thing that doesn't show up on the stat sheet.."invisible yards" or something
@ S2N: Thanks for the info on the Baylor-Texas game, it was 14-0 Texas and I forgot about it. Besides, I think we tortured Pam enough for one day.
"This would be a major major small victory for Northwestern." Andre Ware referring to a potential 3rd down stop for the Northwestern defense.
"I could use some nuggets up here.
Theyre good." - Doc Walker after a Chick-fil-a promo.
Steve Martin just talked about R. Dunn of UNC(he didnt mention first name), he is playing after having a tumor removed from his spine. Unbelievable.
"They're trying to stay on GA Tech's heels, so to speak." - Steve Martin on the race in the ACC Coastal division, I dont know if the pun was intentional.
"They dont have to worry about playing prevent" - Doc Walker on UNC facing GA Tech's run based option.
actually, JG, Quinn had a brain tumor removed. It was benign but they thought he might never play FB again. Now he's starting as a true freshman DE at UNC a year later. Amazing stuff.
"Ryan Succop had his Wheaties today!" Mike Morgan on South Carolina-Arkansas game after two kickoffs in the end zone and a 54 yard FG.
Bad production with them missing a review call.
@anon 1:29
Thanx, it was hard to see the name of the player from the camera angle they were using, and I thought they said it was on the spine.
"The playmaker has yet to hit the dance floor." - Doc Walker on UNC's lack of offense
Stay classy, aa hates espn...
Michael Phelps is at the South Carolina/Arkansas game, as he has been in town for most of the last couple of days.
The Carolina announcers were talking about how there were eleven gold medals on the sideline (Dawn Staley, who won 3, is the Carolina women's basketball coach)
Score note: Wyoming is leading Tennesee 13-0 with about 2 minutes left in 2nd qtr. If he werent already gone, that would get Fulmer canned.
"Paul Johnson is one of only 14 coaches in the Foootbal Bowl Series to call his own plays." - Steve Martin. Its Subdivision, but any real fan still uses 1-A and 1-AA.
"If they could out to the edge, they could get some chunks." - Doc Walker after a failed sweep around by GA Tech
The new "Saved By Zero" ad:
Keystone Light's ad with the schmuck with a ring tone of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "I Like Big Butts".
Fuck me now while I have the change with a God Damned magic Wand...
Mike Morgan (SC-ARK) (something like tihs): "If I called a game sometime like this, I wish that there were no false start penalties this late in the season."
"Gotta go for here, Ray, right? 4th down?" - Pam Ward
What about spiking it?
Score alert: Texas is pulling away from Baylor, 35-14. That's what happens when I tune into a potential upset...
"Came down to a function at the junction, and I guarantee you Ryan Houston wasn't havin' it."
--Doc Walker as Houston steamrolls a DB to give UNC a 14-0 lead.
Joe, is Phelps wearing a #8Gamecock jersey?
"He lets it come through the pipes." - Doc Walker after a muffed punt by GA Tech, player let ball pass between his outstretched arms and his body.
"I know we're in the era of the spread offense and all this hocus pocus, but if you want to win a championship you gotta take it to your opponents heart, and you do that between the tackles." - Doc Walker on UNC trying to score at the goal line.
"They turn it over, you gotta stick 7 on them." - Doc Walker after UNC scores off a muffed punt.
"Theyre knocking the tar out of people. No camoflague here." - Doc Walker on UNC's defense
Steve Martin said UNC is flexing their muscles twice in the span of 30 seconds after they recovered a fumble and look to take control of game (and ACC?)
"Couple of fumbles brought [Minnesota] back into field goal range." - Pam Ward making no sense.
No he is not, he is just wearing normal clothes, unless they gave him one after they showed him on the telecast.
"Put the diamond leash on the puppy and take it out for a good, long walk." --Doc Walker, on the Houston run towards the endzone in the UNC/GT game.
That's good. I don't think Phelps needs any more #8 jerseys.
"Perfect no hitter there or he would have scored." - Doc Walker on a missed block that allowed a tackle near the line of scrimmage.
"The time for talking is over. You gotta be beast if you want to get to Tampa or youre blowing hot air." - Doc Walker on GA Tech trying to come back from 21-0.
"I'm fed up with all these 4.2 backs who cant get you a yard" - Doc walker after GA Tech fails to convert 3rd and 1.
Schedule note: Raycom ACC game next week is Clemson/Duke
Wayne Larrivee "And Cunnigham with the catch"
Charles Davis "I can hear Arthur Fonzerelli calling him out back on the good ol days"
That would be Charles making both an outdated reference, and renaming a beloved 70s television show.
"Gideon shows some giddy up." - Dave Lapham on Texas' Blake Gideon making a tackle
"He slithers through the smallest of holes." - Pam Ward
"It just ruins your defensive stats, truns a good day into a average day." - Doc Walker on a 85 yd TD run by GA Tech ignoring the fact that it is now a 14 pt game
"Sheraton waiting for the play call..play clock to run out." - Pam Ward getting tongue-tied.
Sheridan waiting for the play cock, the play clock to wind down. -Oh, Pammy.
Let's join Charles Davis for an explanation of the Big ten tiebreaker
"If your Michigan State you want Ohio State to win out, so that you control the tiebreakers in a 3 way tie with Penn State"
I don't know where he got this from...if MSU wins out they get the BCS berth...and OSU beat them so they should be actively rooting against OSU at this point..
In other words...what the hell is he talking about?
It's the Big Ten Network...shouldn't the analysts know this stuff backwards and forwards.
That should be "Sheridan", not "Sheraton"...I just noticed the right spelling.
"Nesbit throws it up somebody catch it, and that somebody is UNC."- Steve Martin
Curse the fact I don't have a DVR!!!
Doc Walker: "The baby Canes are growin' up. They jumpin' out the crib to get their own bottle now."
Hogewood: "And it's a brown bottle now."
my 3:01 post meant to say Nesbit is GA Tech's QB
Seriously, was it "play call" or "play cock"?
I know which one I WANT it to be.
"If you want to get to the championship game stay in the ACC and dominate." - Lou Holtz.
"If you want to get to the championship game, go to the Big Ten and not play anybody and win." - Mark May after the discussion began with whether UNC coach would leave for somewhere else.
Charles Davis is an idiot, so him not knowing that Ohio State beat Michigan State isn't a shock.
Spencer Tillman with a dandy
"The fact that Texas Tech is number 2 in the BCS is a referendum on their coach and their offense"
@ S2N: That's why I was cursing the fact that I don't have a DVR. I was paying half attention, and it never crossed my mind that she might have said "cock" until anon brought it up.
"They just showed Louisville getting pounded by Pitt." - One of the Daves(I'm not familiar enough with their voices to know which one) at the Georgia / Kentucky game, after a rather quiet crowd bursts into cheers. Nothing like rivalry hatred.
"Penn State's quarterback, Darryl Clark, is back from la-la land" - Bob Griese
"Good afternoon everybody. Nothing going on here." - Lundquist at the start of Alabama / LSU
The weather graphic for the Oregon/ Stanford game said "Wet, wet, wet"
Dave Archer, after a completion for a TD by UGA: "That looked like Montana to Clark there. I can't tell you how much that looked like a play that happened at Candlestick".
Gary Danielson just said that a LSU defender is "comfortable playing sports"
wish i had TIVO to get the whole thing
Unsportsmanlike call on JP Wilson is hilarious. He held his hand up to his helmet like a phone and mocked the crowd after he scored a TD.
Gary D: "LSU fans got Tebow's cell phone last year and they got Wilson's this year".
Verne: "Anybody home?"
"I'm just gonna watch now." - danielson, after he goes on a rant about LSU throwing a pick on 3rd and 17 deep in their own territory
"Stanford is really going to have to bring their lunch pale if they want to run the ball" Petros Papadakis
Another quote so far:
"Big Play by the big Greek" Petros
I see Brad Nessler thinks this is a local broadcast for the Iowa Hawkeyes. He is clearly channeling his inner Joe Buck.
"[LSU QB Lee] is off to a bad start this game, too." -Lundquist. Next play is a bomb for a TD.
"He finds it a little tough in the interior."- Uncle Verne
"He plays like his hair is on fire" Barry Tomkins
"I don't think that would be safe" Petros
I want to put my head in a meat grinder Tennessee just added to an already shitty season by losing to wyoming 13-7 blah
"Let me tell you right now, Penn State will not make any more mistakes." - Paul Maguire
Thanks Paul, you just jinxed them, I'm sure.
Stacy Dales still looks awesome even in an overcoat, scarf and gloves.
@w_rabb: So many in te media were cracking on UT for firing Fulmer. This weeks "debacling" at the hands of Wyoming proves that the decision - while unfortunate - was the right one.
"He is like a mean brother on Thanksgiving day. He gives him a little leg and he takes it back away". - Brad Nessler
Gary D: "It usually seems that these first quarters fly by, but it feels like we've seen everything already. I'm ready for a hot dog".
@jfein
beat me to it. what the hell is he talkin' about? anyone?
"He makes jump shots like Steve Alford."- Gary
Way to compare JPW to a former college basketball player probably the majority of the audience doesn't even know.
@ gibbon jockey: I probably should have tagged that quote as "Brad Nessler making no sense."
I think he was trying to get after how their was a lot of room to run but it was quickly taken away by the Iowa defense, but you wouldn't know it from listening to Nessler.
"People crying on their rainslickers" Petros
"Something inside me had a feeling that this could happen" Tomkins
"That makes one of us, Barry" Petros
"49 yards into the wind. Attaboy." - Brad Nessler. I honesty think that the next time they show him, he's going to be wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers, er, I mean Iowa Hawkeyes jersey
"This is a manly football game."-Gary
Gary D: "Crack open a cold one. This is real man football here".
20 points for Auburn that probably matches their season total
"They played last year in Tussa... Tuscaloosa, come on you know that" - Verne Lundquist giving himself a peptalk
"Mcnally gets a face full of rubber from the field turf" Petros
It's real man football.
As opposed to every other week of the SEC on CBS, which might as well be syndicated re-runs of Touched by an Angel.
Somebody get Danielson a muzzle.
"They all look like each other." - Paul Maguire on the Penn State running backs.
"This is not pretty, but if they get 45 points doing this , that'll be enough style points" - Griese explaining that even if ugly, actual points become style points over the 44 point threshold.
"Even though it seems like Penn State has had it for another hour." - Brad Nessler
First of all, this was a quick half (1 hour and 10 minutes) and second of all, it's nice to see Brad Nessler channeling the infamous Dr. Kornheiser of MNF.
"Probably as much action as you'll get from Calzaghe and Roy Jones, Jr." - Brad Nessler on the mascots literally duking it out.
Gary D: "Does Alabama go left behind Upshaw and Schell? I mean, Smith and Johnson?"
If you want to see a clinic on how not to manage the time in the last minute of the half, watch Iowa.
Gotta love Grandpa Verne saying, "They were trying to sell codoms."
@jfein
apparently, you missed the collapse of Iowa State @ Colorado.
which is understandable as it was on vs., but that too was horrendous.
Gary D: "I've thrown those interceptions for touchdowns. It's hard to go back to the bench".
Grandpa Verne: "That is a tremendous load to overcome."
JFein - remember when Kirk Ferentz was routinely linked with NFL head coaching vacancies?
It's nice to look back on those times and laugh.
GA Tech punted trailing 21-0 with 8:49 left in 4th, so that would qualify as bad clock management
Verne: "The guy did a Barishnekov".
Forgive the spelling. I'm not well versed in effeminate ballet dancers from communist countries.
Mal I agree with you it was time to make a change I just wish we could have won today. Seeing as the players were so upset with Hamilton for making the decision to move on I would have thought they would have kicked wyomingings ass to prove that the AD made the wrong choice but in the end ole mike was right and this game proves it
Saved by Zero!
We'll forgive you, mal. After all, it's former commie countries...
geez...at times like this, i REALLY miss Matt Flynn
During Gameday, I swear I heard Corso bungle the words to Georgia Tech's fight song. When doing early picks, he started singing, "I'm a rambling wreck from Georgia Tech, and a helluva helluvaneer."
Did any other GT fans hear it wrong too?
"Saban will probably go conservative here"- Danielson, Alabama came out in 4 wides and JPW in shotgun, that was before half.
"They have 33 seconds which is like 2 and a half minutes for other people." - Ron Franklin on Oklahoma's offense.
from some hack in the NC State/Duke game: "Just like Johnny Cash said, you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em"
"We knew Wilson could win this, and Lee could lose this. As Lou Holtz said 'Son, you'll never throw more than seven interceptions, because after six, I'm taking you out." - Danielson
Gotta love JoePa on the Big Ten Network commercials.
@ guy ledouche - that is hilarious. And if it's a Duke game, Vitale had to be doing color. He is contractually bound to do any televised Duke event regardless of sport.
"LSU needs the Wildcat formation " - Danielson on LSU's QB struggles
JFein - "Come to Penn Schtaaaate!"
Verne: "If you're a connesieur of turnovers, this is your day".
Forgive the spelling of connesieur. I'm not really up on spelling commie-French sounding words.
"We'll be back to the Bowden Bowl" - David Norrie heading to commercial at Clemson/FSU
"Les is 4th down Les" - Danielson
Verne to Gary D.: "You realize you are showing your age when you reference Raiders from 35 years ago". (Gary has been comparing the left side of Bama O-line to Upshaw and Schell).
"Stanford is calling this (the weather) worse than it was last week. The product in my hair is already messed up" Jim Watson, the sideline reporter.
That was almost a band shot. We got the majorettes. The producer is getting into "Bowl Season Form".
I should think about changing my name to "JFein - worried Penn State fan". A field goal and the Lions lose to Iowa. IOWA! I guess the answer is if PSU loses to Iowa, they don't deserve the nat'l title game.
Good thing Iowa is sucking on this drive...
"I've thrown multiple interceptions in a game, and without a backup QB theyre stuck with you." - Danielson on his brilliant NFL career
@jfein: you spoke too soon. Pass interference.
@ S2N: Now that's one commercial that can never get old.
@ Mal: That was Penn State sucking, not Iowa sucking.
Oh fuck, they're at the PSU 39...
That was a make-up flag for the roughing the punter.
If anything, a receiver running into a corner who's already up in the air going for an interception is offensive pass interference.
"An undefeated season and a chance at a national championship hanging in the balance right here." - Bob Griese stating the obvious.
Fuck, inside the 30 with a minute left. And the rest of the nation is celebrating, no Big 10 in the nat'l title game.
Anyone interested in a Florida v. Texas BCS championship game?
"The Oregon Duck (the mascot) is even involved in the conversational" Petros Papadakis
*conversation
Awesome. Full-on band shot!
Wow. What a play to convert the first down. Why isn't PSU using any TOs?
"He's a one-handed quarterback." - Paul Maguire making no sense.
Paul Maguire making no sense.
Attention, Department of Redundancy Department...
Which hand, jfein?
@ Mal: I'm wondering the same thing myself.
And S2N, that'd be the Department of Redundant Redunantcy...
@ S2N: Duh, what was I thinking?
"Last eight posessions not much to highlight there." - Lundquist after a graphic showing LSU has had 7 of 8 possession end in punt or INT, the eighth was missed FG
See ya in Pasadena against Southern Cal?
And everybody outside of Pennsylvania is celebrating. The Big 10 won't be in this year's national championship.
"They lowered their expectations to a trip to the Rose Bowl. That aint so bad" - Griese. That statement is every thing that is wrong with college football and the media mentality that covers it.
And, THANK YOU IOWA !
As disappointed as I am that Penn State lost, I guess I can take solace that this is good for college football. I do not think that Penn State would stand a chance against the SEC or the Big 12. And beating USC in the Rose Bowl (assuming PSU isn't overtaken by Michigan State or Ohio State) would be a pretty big deal.
I can also take solace in knowing the Phillies won the World Series. Goes to AA's highlights right now...
Fuck, the vid got deleted.
"Have they been watching the Bruins????? Don't give them that much space!" James Washington
JPW nearly ran over Lee Corso there.
Verne: Coffee goes left...
Gary: Sounds like the election last Tuesday?
Racist? Sure.
Clemson just had TD called back because players helmet came off. Another BS rule.
The Tompkins/Papadakis madness from the second half BSPN may have missed:
"Like artificial mud, isn't it?" -Barry Tompkins (not sure I got all of that)
"That's the way you draw up a botched play." -Barry Tompkins (I know I got all of THAT)
Re: Jim Watson's "product" comment: I had thought Watson had said the "product" had "broken down" or something. Regardless, Tompkins' reaction also merits mention: "I hate when that happens."
"[Justin Roper] hasn't taken off that red scout team jersey, because he's sending in the plays to [Jeremiah] Masoli. Hasn't taken off the headset either." -Petros Papadakis (not sure about the first sentence)
"That would explain it." -Barry Tompkins
Oh, and try to track down video of a moment late in the first quarter when they were doing a measurement and Tompkins thought it was "a bit short". The marker was at the midpoint of the ball. I'm going to see if I can catch a replay of the game (Comcast recently added Comcast Sportsnet in Portland to our Seattle digital lineup, which shows Oregon Sports Network progams) and properly transcribe that and the "product" comment.
Now lets watch the other two major undefeated teams shit the bed tonight.
"He had a sense of urgency, I'll give you that." - Verne Lundquist on a timeout taken early in the play clock.
But if Alabama and Texas Tech lose, then the entire season willo be shat upon...
Right after Saban does his impression of the Tasmanian Devil with turrets while calling a time out, Verne says: "He certainly had a sense of urgency about it".
Duh.
The fans at FSU are singing Happy Birthday to Bobby Bowden, its his 79 th.
FSU leads 41-27 1:24 left in 4th
If Alabama and Texas Tech lose (whether it be this week, or sometime in the future), this whole system will be fucked up. Again.
The fact that the system needs two undefeated teams for it to work says something about the system.
The only issue I agree with Obama on is the need for a play off in D1 college football.
BLOCKED! IT IS BLOCKED!!!
-Verne Lundquist knowing LSU keeps hope alive.
And it's OT thanks to a low kick.
What was the Richter Scale reading at LSU on the blocked FG?
Damn, I hurry up to get my laundry out of the dryer and I miss a blocked field goal! Damnit! I should have gotten my laundry at the end of the PSU game...
Anon 7:13
Agree need 16 team playoff(what other divisions use)
"Here comes the wild-tiger." - Verne Lundquist on LSU lining up in the wildcat formation.
"Here comes to the wildcat (offense)" Verne
"Wild Tiger" Gary
And Alabama is about to do a harry houdini: Escape LSU with a win.
"You cannot put your field goal kicker out on the field." - Grandpa Verne
"I totally agree" - Uncle Gary
I totally disagree. Even though he just had one blocked, it's better than risking a turnvoer.
"They have sinched a spot" Verne
Of course, that point is now moot.
And I'm not so sure that JPW got that in.
The sideline reporter couldn't ask him a question about LSU..c'mon!
"You win the SEC so early." - Wolfson to Nick Saban, its the 10th game of a 12 game season, and they only won their division.
"I never saw him (Nick Saban) smile" Mark May
"I did" Dr. Lou
"I'm still smiling because you think South Carolina has a shot against Florida" Mark
"They doooo!!! They have the best defense in the nation" Dr. Lou
During the VT-Maryland game on Thursday Night, Bill Roth (VT Radio Announcer) had a terrible one.
First play of the second half, Orion Martin sacked Maryland QB Chris Turner and Turner fumbled. The ball was recovered by Cordarrow "Taco" Thompson, a DT.
" AND TACO RECOVERS! HE GOBBLED IT UP LIKE IT WAS A BIG TACO!
"We did a game out there. You can't see the players from Boise State" - Lou Holtz, who actually has a point. It is hard to see the Broncos on that blue turf.
"They have blue helmets, blue shoes, they should at least have white pants!" Lou Holtz
"The Wandstache coming from a victory over Notre Dame" Rece Davis
@ S2N: Texas Tech and Oklahoma State will be available on ESPN360. It's not the same, but close enough if you want to see that game and not the impending suck fest that will be USC-Cal. You can also watch the BC-ND game and listen to The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick.
In Louisville, the local ABC affiliate is running a U of L vs. Northern Kentucky basketball game. The TTU v OK St game is being relegated to the CW.
"Notre Dame isn't very good this year." Mark May
"They can't be very good, because they lost to Pitt in overtime" Dr. Lou
"Charlie Weis is going back to New England tonight, where he had great success the Patriots to 3 super bowls. Notre Dame is going do exceptionally well. It's important to the Notre Dame players too," Dr Lou
Is it just me, or does Mike Patrick recycle the same three outfits over and over and over again..
Mike and Pat already ballwashing Notre Dame. Looks like I'm watching the USC game.
I don't get the Texas Tech / Ok St here on the west coast.
"I don't think we'll be a lamborgini, we'll be happy if we are a Honda Accord" Todd talking about Boston College
Huh?
JFein - I'm a Charter Cable customer, I don't have access to 360, sadly -- it's Cal-UCLA for me.
"At the top of the screen, you will see the offensive members, er, starters, of the Minnesota team." - Pam Ward making her first of many mistakes today.