Screw you Pam, I just wanted to watch the Old Oaken Bucket game in peace.

"behind that group will be 27 seniors will take the field at ohio stadium for the very first time today. For the very LAST time today"
- brad nessler on tOSU's seniors

Nessler - "It's a great day for a pneumonia!"

Meanwhile, another loud "FUCK YOU!" was yelled from Bristol, CT toward WHAS in Louisville which pre-empts college football for a Louisville cardinals basketball game. Let's just say that because of this, they ain't exchanging Christmas cards. This means Penn State-Michigan State goes to ESPN2 and BC-Wake Forest to PPV. And tomorrow, MLS Cup won't on WHAS for another Cardinals hoopfest.

Oh, AA, Ole Miss-LSU is in Baton Rouge, a/k/a Death Valley.

"he just go warned, one more and you're saying goodbye" Brad Nessler

That was a free shot - Bob Griese
and he took it - Maguire

Nessler has been awful this season, what happened?


AA, if you are around on Sunday I'll be busy heckling you should the Redskins lose to Seattle. ;)

"The only thing above us is the Goodyear Blimp and that things a mile away" Brad Nessler

I know you will, SS. I'll have the threads up, but I'm worried about that one, so I might be hiding.

Don't hide, JC Pearson is due for a massive quote-fest.


At least our punter will be Jon Ryan and not Jun Runyan a la Dick Stockton.

I call Shenaniagns along with their brothers Mullarkey, Blarney and Bullshit, AA.

I rest my case.

stupid purdue.

I hate you.

NESSLER TEARING IT UP!!
"so far, this game has been like 'Dancing with the Stars", 1,2,3, KICK!"

Lauernitis: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, WHATTA RUSH!

Nessler is making Tim Brando seem like a polished commentator with these jokes!

"I think they'll need to hold it or we'll be here till Monday" - Brad Nessler

So both Tiger Stadiums are called Death Valley? I honestly never knew that about LSU, James. What a bunch of biters.

Also, +1 for the last comment.

Youtube

Ray Bentley showing the effects of working two games in a week having done Ball State-Central Michigan on Wednesday.

GO BUCKEYES!!

According to the Wikipedia story, AA, it was originally called "Deaf Valley" because of all the noise. However, is was misnamed as "Death Valley".

On Tuesday I think JFein found a gem where Todd Harris called Ray Bentley, "Ray Lewis".


I'll go find the thread and give the credit to him.....

Doc Walker: "It wipes away the interception, but it doesn't wipe away the brain damage to Verica"

All Cris Carter does is give pep talks.

jfein, where's the reference in that line?

the last quote saying the ball keeps on falling on the tee on the last kick off
sorry bout that

JFein's comment:

"You're exactly right, Ray Lewis." - Todd Harris talking to Ray Bentley while thinking of the Ball State running back Miquale Lewis. If I remember, I'll repost this in the Pammy thread on Saturday.



And Joe had this:


Todd Harris- "Butch Davis goes ou to shake Brady Hoke's hand."

The coach for Central Michigan is actually Butch Jones, not Butch Davis.

Oh I forgot about that one SS....I have it somewhere.

to add to InterPlace's quote, the ball fell off the tee and Nessler says, "I thought you said it wasn't windy down there?"

Maguire: "The guy doesn't know hot to put the ball on the tee okay!!?!?"

See what happens when you work with really bad announcers?

AA have you seen this Redskins-related screen cap I took?

http://ssreporters.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/reason-54446-why-sportsline-is-terrible/

Oh yeah, I got to hear Ray Bentley be referred to as Ray Lewis also. That was great. Even Bentley was like, "What the hell, don't call me a murderer..." ok, he didn't exactly say that, but he admitted he was no Ray Lewis.

Nessler is in rare form today. What a game it would be without him, with Michigan players shoving their own coaches and all.

Um, why was Paul McGuire called "Pablo"? Have the announcers been drinking like Brent Musberger was when he was on PTI yesterday? Seriously, if you saw him on that show yesterday, he had to have been either drunk or high on "life". He was quite jovial and incoherent... even for him.

"Pryor going long, got a man, got him! Touchdown Hartline!" - Brad Nessler with a strangely euphemistic quote to me.

"These guys are making me hot." Paul McGuire

FYI all, I'm not going to put this on the main page, but I have a mole in the press box at the UM-OSU game, and he/she says that Nessler is under the weather. If you listen closely you can hear him sniffling every so often.

Hopefully the cold medicine kicks in soon!

OH, thats a Touchdown-Pam Ward, as the ball is in the air, only to have the pass fall incomplete.

"Greg Orton came over and they slapped each other... on the palms" - Pam Ward

Another week of really bad double entandres? Tell Mrs. McGuire you're swinging from both side of the plate if you know what I mean, Paul!

And hopefully, Nessler will feel better for his game next week...Florida-Florida State, anyone?

And hopefully, there'll be a two-day Pammyfest next week with all the games.

Sounds like it, because Nessler had a very low key touchdown call.


Good thing this game is headed for Blowout City so he can just leave early and let Bob and Paul talk crap.

CUE THE DUCK! (Bless you, Benny Parsons.)

I assume that the Aflac question on Michigan-Ohio State was a trick question asking "Who was the first band to perform the script 'Ohio'?"

Lemme guess. The University of Michigan?

Damn, I was right.

Walker-"I thought he should have been Caveman of the week"

Martin-"I don't think the ACC has that award"

Walker-"I'll have to talk to them then"

"The first turnover of the day for West Virginia, and they'll have the ball in good field position."-Andre Ware, as WVU gets the ball at about their own 15 yard line

Alright, You've got Brian Robiskie here against Trent Morgan. Or Morgan Trent, excuse me." - Bob Griese

Michigan's offense comes onto the field:

"Here comes that powerful Michigan offense"---Maguire with just a touch of sarcasm

Thrust of the fist!

@james craven: I'm in Louisville and they banish national games to some third tier network like CW way too often. Kills the high-def experience.

"It's this year's team's last impression." -BitchRod on the Michigan squad for 2008, easilly the worst Michigan football team in 126 years.

Geez, after telling the fans to "get a life", FireRichRodriguez.com should be available.

Mal, they actually send the Big ten games to ESPN or ESPN2, and the other game to the GamePlan package.

"Michigan's going to take a time out." -Brad Nessler on the official review.

"You little brownnoser." - Paul McGuire to Bob Griese

That last play by Michigan shows my hatred for the stretch run or toss play.

Michigan's season is teh suck...

First play, -1 yard.

Second play, -5 yards.

Third down, +5 yards.

Fourth down, touchdown.

Me too, SS. God they are terrible on offense. I can't believe they actually scored on 4th down.

"Kinda tells you about Michigan's season. The little truck that couldn't do it and finally they get in." - Bob Griese

"For Brandon Minor, a MAJOR run to get Michigan back in this one." - Brad Nessler

Hey, BitchRod. There's a great play for you to call anytime.

It's called the forward pass...

Even the mighty West Virginia doesn't know how to score from 1 yard out. They refuse to kick the field goal and go for the TD and Noel Devine falls short (he tripped up) after the referees reversed the initial call of a touchdown, time runs out.


"If this was the NBA, there would be a makeup call." - Rece Davis in reference to said call

Andre Ware: "That touchdown will clearly stand". After watching replay of 4th and goal run by Devine of WVU. Replay official reversed the call and took the TD off the board.

Haha, anyone hear Jimmy Connors has been arrested?

Maguire: "You want me to explain the ACC?"

Nessler: "Maybe after the game."

If you don't have a purpose in your life, you're gonna die.- Dr. Lou at halftime.

I saw that too Stephen....too funny. Lou's making his move!!!

Don't worry, IU has been a second half team all season!

That's one thing I'm missing due to WPVI's City high School Championship coverage.

Next year, try Fixed 29 or C-Dubya 57, PIAA District XII.

"If you take away Beanie Wells' touchdown run and Terelle Pryor's touchdown pass, Ohio State has nothing."...... really?

Sic Semper Greed: Thus ever to those making money by preempting (or bumping) national programming for local shit.

"If you take away Beanie Wells' touchdown run and Terelle Pryor's touchdown pass, Ohio State has nothing."...... really? ----- Brad Nessler

Speaking of trouble:

Eric Ainge, Danny's kid, was suspended by the NFL for four games in violation of the steroid ploicy.

He was on injured reserve as of October 28th.

And P. J. Carlesimo sacked at Oklahoma City and Scott Brooks is in as an interim coach. That laughter you hear in the background is the city of Seatlle rolling on the ground laughing their motherfucking asses off.

james craven - Erik is Danny's nephew.

@James......would be nice to laugh, but we still have the Seahawks, the Mariners, and a winless college football team.

Nephew, kid...IT DOESN'T MATTER, JABRONI!

Well, ss reporters, you're laughing because it's not your problem anymore!

Does every Big Ten game have a trophy on the line? It at least seems that way. "Rivals" Michigan St. and Penn State play for the gaudy Land Grant trophy. Minnesota has four annual trophies... none of which is a Big Ten trophy.

Floyd of Rosedale, Paul Bunyan's Ass, er, Axe, The Little Brown Jug

@ James, yeah but we've got an MLS team next season, so everything cancels out!

Yeah but you also get Drew Carey with it, so i consider it a loss.

And +1 to AA. Come on down!

Surprised we have had ZERO mentions of what is special about this day.

@James, there's also a bell vs. Penn State. They were Penn State's first opponent in the Big Ten in 1993 so they have exchange a bell.

@ AA, +1.....however, if they bring back Whose Line is it Anyway then we're even!

The Govenor's Bell IIRC.

"Painter has another TD"-Pam Ward as once again the pass falls incomplete. Seriously, how many times is she going to do this?

JFK's assination IIRC, SSReporters.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Governor%27s_Victory_Bell

Yeah, the victory bell

Oh, now they show Animal Joe!

Ah, the wonderful world of fake fighting...

Ohio State and Michigan is the only rivalry in the Big Ten that doesn't have a trophy.

@ James, ASSINATION?!! HAHA!!! You're correct but I laughed.

That's true... the best rivaly in the Conference doesn't award a trophy... "have another cookie paul" Nestler

Lemme try the link again for yopu, paulie walnuts:

Governor's Victory Bell

Syntax is not a pal of mine.

And they'll play for the bell in 2009.

Yeah I saw the Doctor who treated JFK on CNN, and it was just depressing. He talked about making eye contact with Jackie O three times while she was in the room and how she laid across his chest when they pronounced him dead.

Just eerie stuff.

Nessler showing his stupid side, naming a child born at The Ohio State University Medical Center "Beanie" (after "Beanie" Wells) would be a "Beanie Baby."

SHOOT ME...SHOOT MENOW!

"If you're a baby born here during Michigan Week you get a handmade scarlet and gray blanket. You can name your baby Scarlet or Gray. Or Buck for Buckeye, or Tress, Tress is good. Beanie. If you had twins you could name them Lauren and Itis." - Brad Nessler.

There aren't nearly as many trophy games in the SEC. Maybe the Big Ten likes those trophy games to compensate for not winning a big trophy at the end of the season... just joking.

And anon 2:17 PM, you'd think it would be twins they'd be girls named Scarlet and Grey.

Why not just name a baby Chris instead of Beanie? That sounds gay.

Aaaaand my favorite soccer team that won 5-0 last week are held 0-0.


I'm going to be throwing up.

Wow, that was some bad tackling for Michigan... that's why they're going to fall to 3-9.

0-0 the final.....after something like 5 scoreless draws out of 100+ games we get 3 in one day with the top 3 teams.


Back to college football I go.

And paulie, they're pining for the good old days of Lloyd Carr...

How hard is it to tackle ALONG the sidelines?

Bo is rolling in his grave.

Looks like BitchRod has gotten the stamps out and is preparing to mail this one in...

Carr might have had a lossing record to Tressel, but i don't think he got blown out like this is about to be.

NC State beating UNC

How can you throw a dead duck like that after escaping a sack 3 times and have your man so wide open?

Griese: "He threw a duck! He threw a duck!"

AFLAC!

"I took Nate Kmic of Mount Union. He has 114 touchdowns which is the most college football in college football." - Bob Griese

Stacey giving out some love to her brother... isn't that cute. Michigan sucks.

Nessler/Griese/McGuire/Dales is the worst commentating set for ABC.

SSReporters: Ward-Bentley < Nessler-Griese-McGuire/Dales...

Rich Rod isn't going to be in Ann Arbor very long if his team continues to stink it up vs. Ohio State.

ABC is so bad with comedy shows Post-Home Improvement that they have to poach Scrubs away from cancellation.

[sarcasm] Oh for the days of Gary Moeller... [/sarcasm]

And Comcast missed the first play of the fourth quarter...God, I wish WPVI didn't carry the City Championship now, those Comcast fucktards...

At least UNC is helping to clear up the convoluted ACC.

@ James, good point, but you see the games that Ward and Bentley get compared to the Nessler/McGuire/Griese/Dales and that's why the latter is worse.


Oh yeah, and that was an obvious interception.

Game over.

Even the crowd doesn't give a damn about this game considering how subdued the atmosphere feels.

They feel sorry for Michigan for their general state of sucky-ness.

Maybe it's apathy toward how sucktacular Meechigan has been...

And all the games that are the TV right now are in total suck mode in Philadelphia, even the GamePlan induced West Virginia-Louvul is snoretown...

And Ohio State is about to score again.

They can't even handle a kickoff correctly.......and they fumble as I type this and it's OSU ball.


And the ref just pointed the wrong way for the penalties.


This is just an awful game.

Wow, i switch the channel for a minute to check the UVa-clemson game and see Michigan fumble... can it get worse for them?

It's about to get even worse...I may turn off this game and see what else is on.

Paul says the place is going crazy.

RicRod... the honeymoon is over. It may get a little hot in Ann Arbor for him.

"And Terrelle looks on and says 'THAT'S MY MAII!! err THAT'S MY GUY!!" - Brad Nessler watching TP after Boeckman throws a touchdown pass

"Florida up big against the Fighting Paul McGuire's of Citadel." - Matt Winer

BitchRod is mailing it in.

He should be mailing out his resume too.

Meechigan should have stayed in house and named someone from their staff. BitchRod < Tradition.

another long completion for Ohio State.

They might have a chance in a few years if Rich doesn't improve quickly.

The high school game ended early on WPVI, so now both ESPN and WPVI are carrying the suckfest at The Horseshoe. And if you think that's horrifying, WBPH, WFMZ and Fox College Sports Pacific are all carrying Lehigh and Lafayette on my cable service. Whatever happened to the word "exclusive rights"?

I'm all for hating on Pam Ward, but she said, "Painter has another TD dropped."

Misquoting for the win.

And JFreak, it coulda been worse.

Purdue could had 77!

"And it's looking worse for Michigan." -Brad Nessler.

Like it couldn't get any worser than that?

Rich is thinking he should have stayed in WV.

"Tom Bergeron I'm taking your job. You can call a game next week while I do Dancing With the Stars." - Brad Nessler

"What's the hot topics in college football? Spencer and I - mostly I..." - Tim Brando promoting himself in the third person during the pregame show on CBS.

Who the hell is Tom Bergeron

"They had to start scoring in the locker room." - Paul McGuire in reference to the TTU 167-115 game.

Scoring with Stacey?

"It was fun down here, you could see everything and you could hear them whacking." - Paul McGuire


Not one fan stormed the field this year.

Holy crap Washington State just got an interception in the Apple Cup just 65 seconds into the game.

"They had one bad slippage."
-Steve Martin on Clemson

ok barry tompkins has been mixing up the huskies and cougars the whole game. as the cougars came out of the tunnel he said "Here come the hometown Washington Huskies"

then when they had the huskies starting offense graphic up, tompkins said "Here's the starting lineup for the Cougars"

this is really getting on my nerves.

You're watching the Apple Cup? Two really bad teams.

"The Huskies have had a lot of downs this season." - Petros Papadakis.....that's why they are WINLESS.

Or as they said on College GameDay, "The Crapple Cup".

"Last time somebody picked my outfit, checkers and stripes." - Jim Watson

"Last time, anyone let me pick out my own outfit...checkers and strippers" Jim Watson (sideline reporter).

Boom goes the Daniel Herron- Rece Davis.

stacey dales asks thee worst questions. god awful.

Go out coach Andy Reid.


http://www.kesslerfreedman.com/football/index.cfm

And is there any "Saved By Zero"?

Well, it looks like I missed a fun early afternoon of Nessler, Griese, and Maguire. Thanks SSR for posting my quote from the Ball State-UCM game. Sorry for any typeos but my hands are atill numb from sititng outside for 3 hours at a college football playoff game.

I better not get Stanford/Cal....

A chance of snow- Mike Patrick, when its already snowing

Ah, Taste of the Town does the Peachy Paterno at the Penn State University Dairy.

And you thought JoePa's favorite flavor was vanilla.

It sucks the penn state game isn't in HD here in Charlotte bc of the Wake-BC game....Booooooo!

Bullcrap, snow showers rock!!! That's great weather for football.


We had more snow than usual in the Seattle Area and that was perfect for snowball fights.

Walnuts, ESPN much?

"The crazy ones are the students over there with no shirts on." - Todd Blackledge channeling his broadcast partner.

Those are the ones, jfein, who have had a lot of booze to stay warm...

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule, it's incomplete." - The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick (TRTIMP) explaining football to a 3-year old.

@ jamescraven: That's the only possible explanation. I was at a D-II playoff game with 4-layers of shirts, sweatpants over shorts, long socks, and I'm still part-numb!

Is Holly Rowe one of the shirtless ones? (throw up in my mouth).

I have ESPN, but my ESPN HD channel is showing ESPN news for some gay reason. As long as Penn State wins, it's all good.

Why does Mike Patrick say everything as if he's surprised it just happened?

Ole Miss just scored... Attention Les Miles, this isn't Troy. You might not want to give them a big lead this week.

@ aml: What the hell do you think this is, uniwatchblog.com?

You got a think for Holly, James?

CBS will have three SEc games in two days next week.

LSU-Arkansas Firday @ 2:30 PM, a game TBA Saturday @ noon followed by Alabama-Auburn @ 3:30 PM

If I had a think for Holly, Paulie Walnuts, she'd have a brain!

Verne: "Are you clapping with a degree of sarcasm?"
Gary: "That's what I do best".

Well Pete, it's because he is TRTIMP*

* - The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick.

"Alright Holly, just try to stay warm." - TRTIMP being downright cruel.

Cruel?

It's twenty-fucking-something degrees and TRTIMP gets oh the sarcastic!

Did You know? Did you have any idea? Are you as stupid as we are? TRTIMP channeling his inner Kenny Mayne.

DYK their color was orginially pink but it was dying in the wash.

"When you deal with losing football teams, losing becames easy" Petros Papadakis.

Syarcuse is leading Notre Dame at recess 10-6.

Can i get a Carl Lewis "Uh-oh!"?

"I love Coldplay." - Mike Patrick

"I love Coldplay."

-Mike Patrick

"I love Coldplay" - TRTIMP

I wonder what Chris Martin is doing with his life....?

"You've become very kicking oriented, have you noticed that?" - TRTIMP to Todd Blackledge

I love Coldplay - Mike Patrick. This explains a lot.

Syracuse beating ND... those gator bowl dreams might be out the window if they lose to the Orange.

Thanks for spoiling that DYK segement, Paulie Walnuts...

And BTW, the local NBC affiliate is carrying Syracuse-Notre Dame because ESPN 2 has picked up Boise State-Nevada for national consumption.

Sorry about the spoiler... just wanted to spread the knowledge. Could you imagine Joepa wearing a pink?

"He's got really long hair...nothing against long hair....but I can't even read the last name!" Petros Papadakis

and another gem

"Nothing to see but rolling hills of wheat and friendly people with beards" Petros Papadakis talking about Pullman, WA.

Write this down: LSU is going to lose to Ole Miss.

"Theres the obligatory guys without shirts shot" Barry Tomkins.