The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Thirteen

Saturday, November 22, 2008


While S2N is out galavanting through the state of California today, I (your fearless leader) will be with you for the better part of the day to finally decide this thing once and for all! Pammy is the state of Indiana (IU-Purdue), Dr. Lou will be in the studio this afternoon and your former Champ Mr. Danielson will be in the Big Easy (Ole Miss-LSU). Here's your announcing schedule for Week 13, and....let's get it on! DING!

(FYI- I mentioned putting up the caption winners today, but I think I'm going to give you all one more day to get one in. Head one post down for a chance to win a copy of EA's NCAA College Basketball '09.)

"Behind that group will be 27 seniors will take the field at Ohio stadium for the very first time today. For the very LAST time today". - Brad Nessler on tOSU's seniors (Via John)

And don't forget about Brad Nessler! With comments like that, he's get an outside shot.

"It's a great day for a pneumonia."- Brad Nessler

Isn't every day?

Oh, AA, Ole Miss-LSU is in Baton Rouge, a/k/a Death Valley. (Via James Craven)

First, Death Valley is in Clemson. Second, I know that Baton Rouge isn't New Orleans, but isn't it only about an hour away? I'm calling shenanigans on you James!

"The kids were going out there to get their healthy breakfast, most of it in liquid form. As they got fortified for this cold Football game."- Pam Ward

Now that was actually kind of funny, Pam! Good one.

"The only thing above us is the Goodyear Blimp and that thing's a mile away."- Brad Nessler (Via InterPlace)

Or about 1,000 feet above your head. I'm not even sure if a blimp could survive at over 5,000 feet off the ground. It'd be sketchy up there, that's for sure.

"I believe Bob Griese is doing the red carpet special."- Brad Nessler on the American Music Awards
"Yeah....I'll be there."- Bob Griese as sarcastic as possible

"I'm not real good at Math, but that sounds like a backwards pass."- Ray Bentley

Haha....what?

"So far, this game has been like 'Dancing with the Stars", 1,2,3, KICK!"- Brad Nessler (Via John)

"It wipes away the interception, but it doesn't wipe away the brain damage to Verica"- Doc Walker (Via Anon)

I love me some Doc quotes, but I don't think I have it in me to watch Clemson-UVA today. So thanks Anon!

"You're exactly right, Ray Lewis." - Todd Harris talking to Ray Bentley while thinking of the Ball State running back Miquale Lewis. (From JFein via SS)

"Butch Davis goes ou to shake Brady Hoke's hand."- Todd Harris on the coach for Central Michigan who is actually Butch Jones (From Joe via SS)

"We made a crack earlier that Ohio State probably had enough points to beat Michigan. Now the rout is almost certainly on."- Rece Davis

You think you're soooooooo funny, Rece!

"These guys are making me hot."- Paul McGuire (Via Tyler)

"Greg Orton came over and they slapped each other... on the palms." - Pam Ward

Hahahahahaha!

"OH, that's a Touchdown!"- Pam Ward, as the ball is in the air, only to have the pass fall incomplete (Via Abe)

Oh Pam!

Doc Walker- "I thought he should have been Caveman of the week"
Steve Martin- "I don't think the ACC has that award"
Doc Walker-
"I'll have to talk to them then"
(Via Anon)

"You wanna slide that ball all they way in there."- Ray Bentley

Ummmmm.

"The first turnover of the day for West Virginia, and they'll have the ball in good field position."- Andre Ware, as WVU gets the ball at about their own 15 yard line (Via Anon)

"Alright, You've got Brian Robiskie here against Trent Morgan. Or Morgan Trent, excuse me." - Bob Griese (Via Anon)

"Kinda tells you about Michigan's season. The little truck that couldn't do it and finally they get in." - Bob Griese (Via SS)

"Remember this. Bear Bryant retired at age 69, and he died 28 days after he stopped coaching. If you don't have something, and a purpose in your life, you're gonna die."- Lou Holtz

Hahahaha....good lord that's morbid!

"If it's windy, it'll effect the throwing of the Football."- Dr. Lou

"If you take away Beanie Wells' touchdown run and Terelle Pryor's touchdown pass, Ohio State has nothing."- Brad Nessler (Via Andrew)

"He is in midseason form!"- Ray Bentley on Purdue's Curtis Painter

I would hope so, considering this is the Boilermakers' last game of the season.

"You guys aren't having a domestic are you?"- Paul Maguire to Brad and Bob
"Oh, go have another cookie, Paul."- Brad Nessler

"Painter has another TD"- Pam Ward as once again the pass falls incomplete

Seriously, how many times is she going to do this? (Via Abe)

"Tom Bergeron I'm taking your job. You can call a game next week while I do Dancing With the Stars." - Brad Nessler (Via SS)

"It was fun down here, you could see everything and you could hear them whacking." - Paul McGuire (Via SS)

Time to move onto the afternoon games and one Michael Patrick....

"A chance of snow- Mike Patrick, when its already snowing."- Mike Patrick (Via Anon)

"Hoyer has been bedeviled by wide receivers dropping balls on him this year."- Mike Patrick

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule, it's incomplete." - Mike Patrick (Via JFein)

"I love Coldplay."- Mike Patrick

That might be a winner right there.

"Nothing to see but rolling hills of wheat and friendly people with beards"- Petros Papadakis talking about Pullman, WA (Via BSPN)

"We have a penalty for excessive celebartion...I mean a horsecollar."- Barry Tompkins (Via James Craven)

"Is Ratt nominated for an award?"- Chris Speilman on the AMAs

"If a beagle could win the Westminster upset.....I don't know if this would be that big but this would be big." - Pat Haden (JFein)

"Lots of players holding hands, you and I are holding hands up here." - Barry Tompkins to Petros Papadakis (Via SS)

Okay I'm out for the night. Keep a watchful eye on the place SS, JFein, JC and all. If swearing guy comes back, tell him I love him!

"Texas Tech first in the Big South, er, the Big 12 South."- Mike Patrick

"You gotta have rules, you can't be like Bud Selig and change the rules in the middle of the game." - Mike Patrick

"The receiver just can't seem to get any balls that are tasty enough to bite at"- Petros Papadakis (Via LSUTigerFan)

"No mad scientist can work without a jolt of caffeine." - Brent Musberger

"Sam Bradford puts points on the board like a pinball wizard." - Brent Musberger

"He yanked it, pulled it from the get-go." - Kelly Stouffer on a missed PAT

"That's not a terrorist. It's Florida State kicker Graham Gano."- Ron Franklin, commenting on Gano's ski mask in the Maryland cold (Via Anon)

"Keep your head down and stroke it well young guy"- Kelly Stouffer to the Oregon State kicker before the game winning field goal (Via Bill)

"Unofficially, we have him for three and a half sacks on his own."- Ron Franklin (Via Anon)

"Beyonse."- Brent Musburger
"I know who Kenny Chesney is. The least you could know is who Beyonce is."- Lisa Salters

"He's not getting enough tasty balls that he can take a bite at."- Petros Papdakis (Via CougarPalooza)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:53 AM

631 Comments:

Screw you Pam, I just wanted to watch the Old Oaken Bucket game in peace.

JFreak said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:01:00 PM  

"behind that group will be 27 seniors will take the field at ohio stadium for the very first time today. For the very LAST time today"
- brad nessler on tOSU's seniors

John said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:05:00 PM  

Nessler - "It's a great day for a pneumonia!"

John said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:09:00 PM  

Meanwhile, another loud "FUCK YOU!" was yelled from Bristol, CT toward WHAS in Louisville which pre-empts college football for a Louisville cardinals basketball game. Let's just say that because of this, they ain't exchanging Christmas cards. This means Penn State-Michigan State goes to ESPN2 and BC-Wake Forest to PPV. And tomorrow, MLS Cup won't on WHAS for another Cardinals hoopfest.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:10:00 PM  

Oh, AA, Ole Miss-LSU is in Baton Rouge, a/k/a Death Valley.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:11:00 PM  

"he just go warned, one more and you're saying goodbye" Brad Nessler

InterPlace55 said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:14:00 PM  

That was a free shot - Bob Griese
and he took it - Maguire

InterPlace55 said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:16:00 PM  

Nessler has been awful this season, what happened?


AA, if you are around on Sunday I'll be busy heckling you should the Redskins lose to Seattle. ;)

ssreporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:21:00 PM  

"The only thing above us is the Goodyear Blimp and that things a mile away" Brad Nessler

InterPlace55 said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:24:00 PM  

I know you will, SS. I'll have the threads up, but I'm worried about that one, so I might be hiding.

Nov 22, 2008, 12:24:00 PM  

Don't hide, JC Pearson is due for a massive quote-fest.


At least our punter will be Jon Ryan and not Jun Runyan a la Dick Stockton.

ssreporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:28:00 PM  
JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:31:00 PM  

stupid purdue.

I hate you.

JFreak said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:31:00 PM  

NESSLER TEARING IT UP!!
"so far, this game has been like 'Dancing with the Stars", 1,2,3, KICK!"

John said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:32:00 PM  

Lauernitis: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, WHATTA RUSH!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:36:00 PM  

Nessler is making Tim Brando seem like a polished commentator with these jokes!

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:38:00 PM  

"I think they'll need to hold it or we'll be here till Monday" - Brad Nessler

InterPlace55 said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:40:00 PM  

So both Tiger Stadiums are called Death Valley? I honestly never knew that about LSU, James. What a bunch of biters.

Also, +1 for the last comment.

Youtube

Nov 22, 2008, 12:41:00 PM  

Ray Bentley showing the effects of working two games in a week having done Ball State-Central Michigan on Wednesday.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:41:00 PM  

GO BUCKEYES!!

um stinks said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:42:00 PM  

According to the Wikipedia story, AA, it was originally called "Deaf Valley" because of all the noise. However, is was misnamed as "Death Valley".

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:43:00 PM  

On Tuesday I think JFein found a gem where Todd Harris called Ray Bentley, "Ray Lewis".


I'll go find the thread and give the credit to him.....

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:44:00 PM  

Doc Walker: "It wipes away the interception, but it doesn't wipe away the brain damage to Verica"

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:45:00 PM  

All Cris Carter does is give pep talks.

jfein, where's the reference in that line?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:45:00 PM  

the last quote saying the ball keeps on falling on the tee on the last kick off
sorry bout that

InterPlace55 said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:45:00 PM  

JFein's comment:

"You're exactly right, Ray Lewis." - Todd Harris talking to Ray Bentley while thinking of the Ball State running back Miquale Lewis. If I remember, I'll repost this in the Pammy thread on Saturday.



And Joe had this:


Todd Harris- "Butch Davis goes ou to shake Brady Hoke's hand."

The coach for Central Michigan is actually Butch Jones, not Butch Davis.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:46:00 PM  

Oh I forgot about that one SS....I have it somewhere.

Nov 22, 2008, 12:48:00 PM  

to add to InterPlace's quote, the ball fell off the tee and Nessler says, "I thought you said it wasn't windy down there?"

Maguire: "The guy doesn't know hot to put the ball on the tee okay!!?!?"

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:48:00 PM  

See what happens when you work with really bad announcers?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:49:00 PM  

AA have you seen this Redskins-related screen cap I took?

http://ssreporters.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/reason-54446-why-sportsline-is-terrible/

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:52:00 PM  

Oh yeah, I got to hear Ray Bentley be referred to as Ray Lewis also. That was great. Even Bentley was like, "What the hell, don't call me a murderer..." ok, he didn't exactly say that, but he admitted he was no Ray Lewis.

Nessler is in rare form today. What a game it would be without him, with Michigan players shoving their own coaches and all.

Um, why was Paul McGuire called "Pablo"? Have the announcers been drinking like Brent Musberger was when he was on PTI yesterday? Seriously, if you saw him on that show yesterday, he had to have been either drunk or high on "life". He was quite jovial and incoherent... even for him.

Nov 22, 2008, 12:53:00 PM  

"Pryor going long, got a man, got him! Touchdown Hartline!" - Brad Nessler with a strangely euphemistic quote to me.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:53:00 PM  

"These guys are making me hot." Paul McGuire

Tyler said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:53:00 PM  

FYI all, I'm not going to put this on the main page, but I have a mole in the press box at the UM-OSU game, and he/she says that Nessler is under the weather. If you listen closely you can hear him sniffling every so often.

Hopefully the cold medicine kicks in soon!

Nov 22, 2008, 12:55:00 PM  

OH, thats a Touchdown-Pam Ward, as the ball is in the air, only to have the pass fall incomplete.

Abe said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:56:00 PM  

"Greg Orton came over and they slapped each other... on the palms" - Pam Ward

Ryan said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:56:00 PM  

Another week of really bad double entandres? Tell Mrs. McGuire you're swinging from both side of the plate if you know what I mean, Paul!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:56:00 PM  

And hopefully, Nessler will feel better for his game next week...Florida-Florida State, anyone?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:57:00 PM  

And hopefully, there'll be a two-day Pammyfest next week with all the games.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 12:58:00 PM  

Sounds like it, because Nessler had a very low key touchdown call.


Good thing this game is headed for Blowout City so he can just leave early and let Bob and Paul talk crap.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:00:00 PM  

CUE THE DUCK! (Bless you, Benny Parsons.)

I assume that the Aflac question on Michigan-Ohio State was a trick question asking "Who was the first band to perform the script 'Ohio'?"

Lemme guess. The University of Michigan?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:01:00 PM  

Damn, I was right.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:07:00 PM  

Walker-"I thought he should have been Caveman of the week"

Martin-"I don't think the ACC has that award"

Walker-"I'll have to talk to them then"

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

"The first turnover of the day for West Virginia, and they'll have the ball in good field position."-Andre Ware, as WVU gets the ball at about their own 15 yard line

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

Alright, You've got Brian Robiskie here against Trent Morgan. Or Morgan Trent, excuse me." - Bob Griese

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:10:00 PM  

Michigan's offense comes onto the field:

"Here comes that powerful Michigan offense"---Maguire with just a touch of sarcasm

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

Thrust of the fist!

Bill Raftery said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:14:00 PM  

@james craven: I'm in Louisville and they banish national games to some third tier network like CW way too often. Kills the high-def experience.

Mal said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:15:00 PM  

"It's this year's team's last impression." -BitchRod on the Michigan squad for 2008, easilly the worst Michigan football team in 126 years.

Geez, after telling the fans to "get a life", FireRichRodriguez.com should be available.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:15:00 PM  

Mal, they actually send the Big ten games to ESPN or ESPN2, and the other game to the GamePlan package.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:16:00 PM  

"Michigan's going to take a time out." -Brad Nessler on the official review.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:17:00 PM  

"You little brownnoser." - Paul McGuire to Bob Griese

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:18:00 PM  

That last play by Michigan shows my hatred for the stretch run or toss play.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:19:00 PM  

Michigan's season is teh suck...

First play, -1 yard.

Second play, -5 yards.

Third down, +5 yards.

Fourth down, touchdown.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

Me too, SS. God they are terrible on offense. I can't believe they actually scored on 4th down.

Nov 22, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

"Kinda tells you about Michigan's season. The little truck that couldn't do it and finally they get in." - Bob Griese

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

"For Brandon Minor, a MAJOR run to get Michigan back in this one." - Brad Nessler

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:22:00 PM  

Hey, BitchRod. There's a great play for you to call anytime.

It's called the forward pass...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:23:00 PM  

Even the mighty West Virginia doesn't know how to score from 1 yard out. They refuse to kick the field goal and go for the TD and Noel Devine falls short (he tripped up) after the referees reversed the initial call of a touchdown, time runs out.


"If this was the NBA, there would be a makeup call." - Rece Davis in reference to said call

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:23:00 PM  

Andre Ware: "That touchdown will clearly stand". After watching replay of 4th and goal run by Devine of WVU. Replay official reversed the call and took the TD off the board.

Mal said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:24:00 PM  

Haha, anyone hear Jimmy Connors has been arrested?

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:25:00 PM  

Maguire: "You want me to explain the ACC?"

Nessler: "Maybe after the game."

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:28:00 PM  

If you don't have a purpose in your life, you're gonna die.- Dr. Lou at halftime.

stephen said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:32:00 PM  

I saw that too Stephen....too funny. Lou's making his move!!!

Nov 22, 2008, 1:33:00 PM  

Don't worry, IU has been a second half team all season!

Abe said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:34:00 PM  

That's one thing I'm missing due to WPVI's City high School Championship coverage.

Next year, try Fixed 29 or C-Dubya 57, PIAA District XII.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:35:00 PM  

"If you take away Beanie Wells' touchdown run and Terelle Pryor's touchdown pass, Ohio State has nothing."...... really?

Andrew said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:37:00 PM  

Sic Semper Greed: Thus ever to those making money by preempting (or bumping) national programming for local shit.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:37:00 PM  

"If you take away Beanie Wells' touchdown run and Terelle Pryor's touchdown pass, Ohio State has nothing."...... really? ----- Brad Nessler

Andrew said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:38:00 PM  

Speaking of trouble:

Eric Ainge, Danny's kid, was suspended by the NFL for four games in violation of the steroid ploicy.

He was on injured reserve as of October 28th.

And P. J. Carlesimo sacked at Oklahoma City and Scott Brooks is in as an interim coach. That laughter you hear in the background is the city of Seatlle rolling on the ground laughing their motherfucking asses off.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:46:00 PM  

james craven - Erik is Danny's nephew.

Mal said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:49:00 PM  

@James......would be nice to laugh, but we still have the Seahawks, the Mariners, and a winless college football team.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:57:00 PM  

Nephew, kid...IT DOESN'T MATTER, JABRONI!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:57:00 PM  

Well, ss reporters, you're laughing because it's not your problem anymore!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:58:00 PM  

Does every Big Ten game have a trophy on the line? It at least seems that way. "Rivals" Michigan St. and Penn State play for the gaudy Land Grant trophy. Minnesota has four annual trophies... none of which is a Big Ten trophy.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 1:59:00 PM  

Floyd of Rosedale, Paul Bunyan's Ass, er, Axe, The Little Brown Jug

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:00:00 PM  

@ James, yeah but we've got an MLS team next season, so everything cancels out!

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:01:00 PM  

Yeah but you also get Drew Carey with it, so i consider it a loss.

Nov 22, 2008, 2:02:00 PM  

And +1 to AA. Come on down!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:03:00 PM  

Surprised we have had ZERO mentions of what is special about this day.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:04:00 PM  

@James, there's also a bell vs. Penn State. They were Penn State's first opponent in the Big Ten in 1993 so they have exchange a bell.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:05:00 PM  

@ AA, +1.....however, if they bring back Whose Line is it Anyway then we're even!

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:06:00 PM  

The Govenor's Bell IIRC.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:06:00 PM  

"Painter has another TD"-Pam Ward as once again the pass falls incomplete. Seriously, how many times is she going to do this?

Abe said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:07:00 PM  

JFK's assination IIRC, SSReporters.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:07:00 PM  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Governor%27s_Victory_Bell

Yeah, the victory bell

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:08:00 PM  

Oh, now they show Animal Joe!

Ah, the wonderful world of fake fighting...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:09:00 PM  

Ohio State and Michigan is the only rivalry in the Big Ten that doesn't have a trophy.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:10:00 PM  

@ James, ASSINATION?!! HAHA!!! You're correct but I laughed.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:11:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:11:00 PM  

That's true... the best rivaly in the Conference doesn't award a trophy... "have another cookie paul" Nestler

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:12:00 PM  

Lemme try the link again for yopu, paulie walnuts:

Governor's Victory Bell

Syntax is not a pal of mine.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:13:00 PM  

And they'll play for the bell in 2009.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:15:00 PM  

Yeah I saw the Doctor who treated JFK on CNN, and it was just depressing. He talked about making eye contact with Jackie O three times while she was in the room and how she laid across his chest when they pronounced him dead.

Just eerie stuff.

Nov 22, 2008, 2:16:00 PM  

Nessler showing his stupid side, naming a child born at The Ohio State University Medical Center "Beanie" (after "Beanie" Wells) would be a "Beanie Baby."

SHOOT ME...SHOOT MENOW!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:17:00 PM  

"If you're a baby born here during Michigan Week you get a handmade scarlet and gray blanket. You can name your baby Scarlet or Gray. Or Buck for Buckeye, or Tress, Tress is good. Beanie. If you had twins you could name them Lauren and Itis." - Brad Nessler.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:17:00 PM  

There aren't nearly as many trophy games in the SEC. Maybe the Big Ten likes those trophy games to compensate for not winning a big trophy at the end of the season... just joking.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:17:00 PM  

And anon 2:17 PM, you'd think it would be twins they'd be girls named Scarlet and Grey.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:19:00 PM  

Why not just name a baby Chris instead of Beanie? That sounds gay.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:20:00 PM  

Aaaaand my favorite soccer team that won 5-0 last week are held 0-0.


I'm going to be throwing up.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:21:00 PM  

Wow, that was some bad tackling for Michigan... that's why they're going to fall to 3-9.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:25:00 PM  

0-0 the final.....after something like 5 scoreless draws out of 100+ games we get 3 in one day with the top 3 teams.


Back to college football I go.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:25:00 PM  

And paulie, they're pining for the good old days of Lloyd Carr...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

How hard is it to tackle ALONG the sidelines?

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

Bo is rolling in his grave.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:28:00 PM  

Looks like BitchRod has gotten the stamps out and is preparing to mail this one in...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:29:00 PM  

Carr might have had a lossing record to Tressel, but i don't think he got blown out like this is about to be.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:30:00 PM  

NC State beating UNC

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:32:00 PM  

How can you throw a dead duck like that after escaping a sack 3 times and have your man so wide open?

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:32:00 PM  

Griese: "He threw a duck! He threw a duck!"

AFLAC!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:33:00 PM  

"I took Nate Kmic of Mount Union. He has 114 touchdowns which is the most college football in college football." - Bob Griese

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:33:00 PM  

Stacey giving out some love to her brother... isn't that cute. Michigan sucks.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:33:00 PM  

Nessler/Griese/McGuire/Dales is the worst commentating set for ABC.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:34:00 PM  

SSReporters: Ward-Bentley < Nessler-Griese-McGuire/Dales...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:35:00 PM  

Rich Rod isn't going to be in Ann Arbor very long if his team continues to stink it up vs. Ohio State.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:35:00 PM  

ABC is so bad with comedy shows Post-Home Improvement that they have to poach Scrubs away from cancellation.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:37:00 PM  

[sarcasm] Oh for the days of Gary Moeller... [/sarcasm]

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:37:00 PM  

And Comcast missed the first play of the fourth quarter...God, I wish WPVI didn't carry the City Championship now, those Comcast fucktards...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

At least UNC is helping to clear up the convoluted ACC.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

@ James, good point, but you see the games that Ward and Bentley get compared to the Nessler/McGuire/Griese/Dales and that's why the latter is worse.


Oh yeah, and that was an obvious interception.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

Game over.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

Even the crowd doesn't give a damn about this game considering how subdued the atmosphere feels.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

They feel sorry for Michigan for their general state of sucky-ness.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:41:00 PM  

Maybe it's apathy toward how sucktacular Meechigan has been...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:42:00 PM  

And all the games that are the TV right now are in total suck mode in Philadelphia, even the GamePlan induced West Virginia-Louvul is snoretown...

And Ohio State is about to score again.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:45:00 PM  

They can't even handle a kickoff correctly.......and they fumble as I type this and it's OSU ball.


And the ref just pointed the wrong way for the penalties.


This is just an awful game.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:45:00 PM  

Wow, i switch the channel for a minute to check the UVa-clemson game and see Michigan fumble... can it get worse for them?

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:45:00 PM  

It's about to get even worse...I may turn off this game and see what else is on.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:46:00 PM  

CLICK!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:46:00 PM  

Paul says the place is going crazy.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

RicRod... the honeymoon is over. It may get a little hot in Ann Arbor for him.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:48:00 PM  

"And Terrelle looks on and says 'THAT'S MY MAII!! err THAT'S MY GUY!!" - Brad Nessler watching TP after Boeckman throws a touchdown pass

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:49:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:49:00 PM  

"Florida up big against the Fighting Paul McGuire's of Citadel." - Matt Winer

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:51:00 PM  

BitchRod is mailing it in.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:51:00 PM  

He should be mailing out his resume too.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:53:00 PM  

Meechigan should have stayed in house and named someone from their staff. BitchRod < Tradition.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:57:00 PM  

another long completion for Ohio State.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:57:00 PM  

They might have a chance in a few years if Rich doesn't improve quickly.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 2:58:00 PM  

The high school game ended early on WPVI, so now both ESPN and WPVI are carrying the suckfest at The Horseshoe. And if you think that's horrifying, WBPH, WFMZ and Fox College Sports Pacific are all carrying Lehigh and Lafayette on my cable service. Whatever happened to the word "exclusive rights"?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:01:00 PM  

I'm all for hating on Pam Ward, but she said, "Painter has another TD dropped."

Misquoting for the win.

JFreak said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:02:00 PM  

And JFreak, it coulda been worse.

Purdue could had 77!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:03:00 PM  

"And it's looking worse for Michigan." -Brad Nessler.

Like it couldn't get any worser than that?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:04:00 PM  

Rich is thinking he should have stayed in WV.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:05:00 PM  

"Tom Bergeron I'm taking your job. You can call a game next week while I do Dancing With the Stars." - Brad Nessler

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:08:00 PM  

"What's the hot topics in college football? Spencer and I - mostly I..." - Tim Brando promoting himself in the third person during the pregame show on CBS.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:10:00 PM  

Who the hell is Tom Bergeron

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:10:00 PM  

"They had to start scoring in the locker room." - Paul McGuire in reference to the TTU 167-115 game.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:10:00 PM  

Scoring with Stacey?

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:12:00 PM  

"It was fun down here, you could see everything and you could hear them whacking." - Paul McGuire


Not one fan stormed the field this year.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:13:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:14:00 PM  

Holy crap Washington State just got an interception in the Apple Cup just 65 seconds into the game.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:14:00 PM  

"They had one bad slippage."
-Steve Martin on Clemson

Bazooka Jones said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:16:00 PM  

ok barry tompkins has been mixing up the huskies and cougars the whole game. as the cougars came out of the tunnel he said "Here come the hometown Washington Huskies"

then when they had the huskies starting offense graphic up, tompkins said "Here's the starting lineup for the Cougars"

this is really getting on my nerves.

jon said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:17:00 PM  

You're watching the Apple Cup? Two really bad teams.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:19:00 PM  

"The Huskies have had a lot of downs this season." - Petros Papadakis.....that's why they are WINLESS.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:21:00 PM  

Or as they said on College GameDay, "The Crapple Cup".

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:22:00 PM  

"Last time somebody picked my outfit, checkers and stripes." - Jim Watson

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:22:00 PM  

"Last time, anyone let me pick out my own outfit...checkers and strippers" Jim Watson (sideline reporter).

bspn said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:23:00 PM  

Boom goes the Daniel Herron- Rece Davis.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:24:00 PM  

stacey dales asks thee worst questions. god awful.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:26:00 PM  

Go out coach Andy Reid.


http://www.kesslerfreedman.com/football/index.cfm

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:27:00 PM  

And is there any "Saved By Zero"?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:28:00 PM  

Well, it looks like I missed a fun early afternoon of Nessler, Griese, and Maguire. Thanks SSR for posting my quote from the Ball State-UCM game. Sorry for any typeos but my hands are atill numb from sititng outside for 3 hours at a college football playoff game.

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:29:00 PM  

I better not get Stanford/Cal....

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:30:00 PM  

A chance of snow- Mike Patrick, when its already snowing

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:30:00 PM  

Ah, Taste of the Town does the Peachy Paterno at the Penn State University Dairy.

And you thought JoePa's favorite flavor was vanilla.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

It sucks the penn state game isn't in HD here in Charlotte bc of the Wake-BC game....Booooooo!

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

Bullcrap, snow showers rock!!! That's great weather for football.


We had more snow than usual in the Seattle Area and that was perfect for snowball fights.

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

Walnuts, ESPN much?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:35:00 PM  

"The crazy ones are the students over there with no shirts on." - Todd Blackledge channeling his broadcast partner.

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:36:00 PM  

Those are the ones, jfein, who have had a lot of booze to stay warm...

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:38:00 PM  

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule, it's incomplete." - The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick (TRTIMP) explaining football to a 3-year old.

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:38:00 PM  

@ jamescraven: That's the only possible explanation. I was at a D-II playoff game with 4-layers of shirts, sweatpants over shorts, long socks, and I'm still part-numb!

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:40:00 PM  

Is Holly Rowe one of the shirtless ones? (throw up in my mouth).

Mal said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:40:00 PM  

I have ESPN, but my ESPN HD channel is showing ESPN news for some gay reason. As long as Penn State wins, it's all good.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:44:00 PM  

Why does Mike Patrick say everything as if he's surprised it just happened?

pete said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:45:00 PM  

Ole Miss just scored... Attention Les Miles, this isn't Troy. You might not want to give them a big lead this week.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:46:00 PM  

@ aml: What the hell do you think this is, uniwatchblog.com?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:47:00 PM  

You got a think for Holly, James?

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:48:00 PM  

CBS will have three SEc games in two days next week.

LSU-Arkansas Firday @ 2:30 PM, a game TBA Saturday @ noon followed by Alabama-Auburn @ 3:30 PM

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:49:00 PM  

If I had a think for Holly, Paulie Walnuts, she'd have a brain!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:51:00 PM  

Verne: "Are you clapping with a degree of sarcasm?"
Gary: "That's what I do best".

Mal said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:52:00 PM  

Well Pete, it's because he is TRTIMP*

* - The Randomness That Is Mike Patrick.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:54:00 PM  

"Alright Holly, just try to stay warm." - TRTIMP being downright cruel.

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:57:00 PM  

Cruel?

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 3:59:00 PM  

It's twenty-fucking-something degrees and TRTIMP gets oh the sarcastic!

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:00:00 PM  

Did You know? Did you have any idea? Are you as stupid as we are? TRTIMP channeling his inner Kenny Mayne.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:01:00 PM  

DYK their color was orginially pink but it was dying in the wash.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:02:00 PM  

"When you deal with losing football teams, losing becames easy" Petros Papadakis.

bspn said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:03:00 PM  

Syarcuse is leading Notre Dame at recess 10-6.

Can i get a Carl Lewis "Uh-oh!"?

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:04:00 PM  

"I love Coldplay." - Mike Patrick

SSReporters said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:05:00 PM  

"I love Coldplay."

-Mike Patrick

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:05:00 PM  

"I love Coldplay" - TRTIMP

I wonder what Chris Martin is doing with his life....?

"You've become very kicking oriented, have you noticed that?" - TRTIMP to Todd Blackledge

JFein said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:05:00 PM  

I love Coldplay - Mike Patrick. This explains a lot.

Anonymous said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:05:00 PM  

Syracuse beating ND... those gator bowl dreams might be out the window if they lose to the Orange.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:06:00 PM  

Thanks for spoiling that DYK segement, Paulie Walnuts...

And BTW, the local NBC affiliate is carrying Syracuse-Notre Dame because ESPN 2 has picked up Boise State-Nevada for national consumption.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:06:00 PM  

Sorry about the spoiler... just wanted to spread the knowledge. Could you imagine Joepa wearing a pink?

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:08:00 PM  

"He's got really long hair...nothing against long hair....but I can't even read the last name!" Petros Papadakis

and another gem

"Nothing to see but rolling hills of wheat and friendly people with beards" Petros Papadakis talking about Pullman, WA.

bspn said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:09:00 PM  

Write this down: LSU is going to lose to Ole Miss.

walnuts said...
Nov 22, 2008, 4:12:00 PM  

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