Create The Caption #313

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo, you provide the caption, and then hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....


"You stay classy, New York. I'm Magic Johnson?"- J Dot

"Step 1: Play basketball, start chain of movie theaters, fail as talk show host
Step 2: ?
Step 3: 32 Ways To Be A Champion in Business"
- G Money

"No. I don't know what bridge Sheila E. is living under. I just know she ain't living 'The Glamorous Life' now."- RJBO

And your winner of a copy of EA's NCAA '09 is (drumroll)........

"One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones... "- Edward

Use of Grandpa Simpson quote....WINNAH! Still three more shots to go people!!!
_______________________________________

Okay folks it's time! We're raising the stakes, and for this week and this week only, you will be playing for a copy of EA Sports' NCAA 2009. The rules are simple....you have to submit your caption with a registered blogger profile, have an email address linked within said profile, and you have to be funnier than everyone else (sorry Anons, you won't win if you don't register). If all of the above holds true, I'll get your information, and EA will send you the game on either PS3 or XBOX in the next week or so. It's that easy!

NCAA Basketball '09 (EA Sports)

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Mark Cuban cheering on his Mavs in Charlotte last night?


Daily Links:

A Great Story About A High School Announcer And His Blind Analyst (Also His Daughter) (Hot Air)
Curt Schilling Doesn't Seem To Like Baseball Writers (WEEI)
Brett Favre Likes To Drop The F-Bomb (Stock Lemon)
Grading The BTN Through Video (Black Shoe Diaries)
NBA Silhouette Trivia! (Simon on Sports)
Maxim Sure Loves These Attractive Anchor Lists (Maxim)
A Look Into "Free Throw Defense" (Clutch City Hoops)
That Pedroia Is Such A Cutie! (Tirico Suave)
A Regional Seahawks Announcing Review (SS Reporters)
Charlie Weis' My Space Page! (JSF)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:52 PM

137 Comments:

And the light from the Police chopper quickly finds Mark Cuban. Martha's empty cell awaits, my friend...

foos said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:10:00 PM  

"Come ON! This is my last non-striped shirt!"

Andy said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:10:00 PM  

Cuban: MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!

Dan said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

Mark Cuban prepares for a cloudy future by showing his prison shower face

RoscoBosco said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

Jane Clayson: Mark, how about that insider trading accusation?

Mark: I just want to focus on buying the Cubs and owning a team that can't make it past the first round of the playoffs.

Big Daddy Goob said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

"C'mon guys, don't shoot. It was only money. I'll give it back, I promise!"

foos said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:12:00 PM  

Mark Cuban giving Charlotte a taste of his O face.

kantwistaye said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:15:00 PM  

Well hellllllllllooooooooooo Mr. Fancypants.

Mosles07 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:16:00 PM  

Macho, macho maaaan
I got to be
a macho man!

Chubs said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hal DeCoursey said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:22:00 PM  

Here we have a picture of Mr. Cuban seated with all of his good friends.

Anonymous said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:22:00 PM  

Dribble ball inside guys they have bad centers I have insider information

KR said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:23:00 PM  

Mark Cuban on finding out the SEC he's been dealing with isn't actually the SouthEastern Conference

Hal DeCoursey said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:24:00 PM  

Background music: Bad Boys...Bad Boys...Bad Boys...Bad Boys

Cuban: "The bitch set me up"

49er16 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:25:00 PM  

YYYAAAWWNNN. Wow, I just had a horrible dream. I dreampt I was watching a Bobcats game.

Kirk said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:26:00 PM  

"FRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!"

Mikvogel said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:29:00 PM  

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the Securities and Exchange Commission who have chosen to join us here in the American Airlines Center at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the game, and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there are still some things that make us all the same. Me, you, them, everybody, everybody!

Mez said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:30:00 PM  

SEEEEEEEEEEELL!!! SELL! SELL! SELL!

Scott said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:30:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
mike said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:32:00 PM  

"People have got to know whether or not their NBA owner is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."

Nov 19, 2008, 1:32:00 PM  

Where's Beeks? Where in the hell is Beeks?

THE TAILGATERS said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:33:00 PM  

PA: "...and the winner of tonight's trip to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison is row A..."

Cuban: "oh my god, oh my god"

PA: "...Seat 1! Congrats to the lucky fan"

Cuban: "OH MY GOD!! I didn't even hear him, what did I win? ..Oh seriously? damn. well, can I take Dirk with me at least? I can? YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

mike said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:33:00 PM  

Mark Cuban is preparing himself for Federal 'Pound Me in the Ass' Prison.

Scott said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:34:00 PM  

Cuban: [to his basketball team] Now as long as you hurt the other kid as bad or worse than he hurts you, you will have done your job. And I'll be proud of you.

Jeff said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:37:00 PM  

Insider Trading?? INSIDER TRADING? You think you can do this to ME?! You m#*$#$*&#$ers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get through with you!! Who the F#@* you think you F#$*&in with?? I'M THE OWNER!! I RUN S#@* HERE!! KING KONG AIN'T GOT S#*% ON ME!!

Zeke Smith said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:37:00 PM  

Mark Cuban's line of "How To Old People-Dance" videos will always be a hot seller.

GMoney said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:42:00 PM  

Unfortunately for Cuban, he misunderstood his PR head's email about "not having to worry about Jason Kidd anymore."

Nov 19, 2008, 1:43:00 PM  

By the power of Greyskull - I HAVE THE POWER!!!

Steve said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:48:00 PM  

(as the recently installed stock market scrolling display rolls)

Mark Cuban: "Oh no, I sold the wrong shares, I'll be forced to start Shawn Bradley once again, please take me away now, I surrender!"

dobber said...
Nov 19, 2008, 1:49:00 PM  

My lawyer said to raise the arms to accentuate my beltless tuck... No ones been convicted of insider trading with a beltless tuck since the Johnson administration.

john said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:01:00 PM  

Insider trading was a lot better choice then owning the Cubs... they take it up the pie hole a lot more each year then I ever will in jail.

john said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:10:00 PM  

What the hell is mamma.com anyway?

Jay said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:14:00 PM  

We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Cuban, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently, deranged, would-be killer!

Kelly said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:17:00 PM  

"But Warden! I need a belt in prison! How else can I protect my cornhole!!!!"

Camel said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:18:00 PM  

VICTOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

A little Johnny Drama for you.

JamesCraven said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:20:00 PM  

"The SEC? *YAWN* The only person I fear is David Stern."

Dustin said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:21:00 PM  

Those SEC guys thought it was Mamma.com, but I really bought Pappa.com! They'll never catch me!

Jay said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:21:00 PM  

I got your PIPE financing right here

tecmo said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:25:00 PM  

"Damn it! I knew I should have stuck with the Orange Crop speculations this year!"

foos said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

Hi AA, I was the winner of the Magic Johnson comment, but my profile wasn't visible until today - so if you checked for my email address earlier, may not have seen it.

Thanks,
Ed

Edward said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:27:00 PM  

Voice from off camera: "Mark, your brother's not well. We better call an ambulance."

Mark: "Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want this game restarted right now. Get those players back out here. Turn those shot clocks back on! Turn those shot clocks back on!!!"

foos said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:35:00 PM  

Blue Horse Shoe Loves Anacot Steel.

MarkMc said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:36:00 PM  

"Attica! Attica! Attica!"

Pego said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:37:00 PM  

I Saved that 750,000 on Mamma.Com to spend on Stephon Marbury when he gets cut by the Knicks.

Simon said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:39:00 PM  

After the unprecedented move by the SEC to take its case to the Maury Povich show, Mark Cuban celebrates upon learning that he is........NOT the felon!

Wade Robertson said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

Cuban: "D-Fence!" (clap - clap), "D-Fence!" (clap - clap). "Come on D!"

Judge: "Mr. Cuban, please no yelling while the prosecution makes its case."

John said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:49:00 PM  

Cuban falls for the old "open your mouth without showing your teeth" trick.

rhett said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:51:00 PM  

"The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were no good."

Jim said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:52:00 PM  

This is what happens when Mark Cuban appears on Don't Forget the Lyrics

Ben Chew AKA BC said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:52:00 PM  

Mark Cuban: "I did not committ insider training with that website."

JFein said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:53:00 PM  

Mark Cuban celebrating Jason Kidd's only 2 points of the game, imagine how he would celebrate if he had a real point guard like Devin Harris.

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 2:58:00 PM  

Cops: PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT

MC: Shit, who told you I'd be here...I knew Avery was a snitch.

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:00:00 PM  

Smart of Cuban to already remove his belt. They wont allow that where he is going.

Cuban: DO NOT PUT ME IN SOLITARY!!!

Richard said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:07:00 PM  

(Gary Glitter's Rock n Roll - Part Two plays in the background)

"Na nah nah nah nah-nah nah-nah - FRAUD!! Na nah nah nah nah-nah!! Na nah nah nah nah-nah nah-nah - FRAUD!! Na nah nah nah nah-nah!!"

Anonymous said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:09:00 PM  

YIPEE! I can still get my daily mocha frappuccino with cinnamon and sprinkles in minimum security prison!

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:13:00 PM  

Wahooooo! I'm getting Martha's old cell.

Mike said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:19:00 PM  

@mike should have read Yahoo! due the connection to yahoo!...err...

Mike said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:22:00 PM  

Mamma.com
Fraud?
Federal sentence?
Likely.

Nov 19, 2008, 3:36:00 PM  

WILDCARD, BITCHES!

Gorgonzola said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:40:00 PM  

Twice a game, Mark practices the pose he will soon face against a shower wall in prison.

bigdp11 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:43:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JamesCraven said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:46:00 PM  

Give it up for Gay Russian Army urkel, everybody!

(If you don't watch The Soup and look at clips from Yo Gabba Gabba! on that show, you'll never get the injoke.)

JamesCraven said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:47:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Birdman said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:51:00 PM  

Depressed with the notion he will not be able to buy the Cubs, the Mavs are struggling, and the SEC is breathing down his neck, a light bulb comes on above his head that brings his world back into perspective: "I HAVE A LOT MORE MONEY THAN ALL OF YOU BASTARDS COMBINED!"

bigdp11 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:51:00 PM  

"Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia let me go. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for meeee, for MEEEEEEE!"

Birdman said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:53:00 PM  

Now in prison, I'll still be able to use the weight bench, see, but it's not going to interfere with servicing my cell mate. Allow me to demonstrate.

Preston Seider said...
Nov 19, 2008, 3:53:00 PM  

Matt Stairs couldn't have meant THIS when he said it was great to have all the guys hammering his ass!

Mike said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:05:00 PM  

I'm so excited, I'm so excited!....I'm so scareddddd.......


(Come on, someone had to do it)

Steven said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:07:00 PM  

Oh My God, I Hope I can Scream my way out of insider trading!

jayankee1 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:18:00 PM  

SELL SELL SELL!!!

Anonymous said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:24:00 PM  

"Hey Dirk - is Germany a non-extradition country?"

Jeff said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:25:00 PM  

DON'T WALK! (DO IT FOR THE YOUNG ONESSS!!) DON'T WALK! (Extra steps will give you bunyons.)

Cam Jones said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:32:00 PM  

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:34:00 PM  

Yeah! I just cornered the market on copies of Zork III!

YES!

hollywood wags said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:36:00 PM  

BEAST MODE

EnRaged said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:39:00 PM  

By the power of Greyskull...I HAVE THE POWER!!!

seanthurmond said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:41:00 PM  

Dammit Donaghy, I told you I'd stay quiet on yours if you didn't tell on me!

alex said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:47:00 PM  

Cuban: I ain't strapped, I ain't involved, yo. I ain't involved in none of that gangster bullshit...what y'all want, man? Money?

Cop: You still don't get it, do you? This ain't about your money, bro. Your boy gave you up. That's right. And we ain't had to torture his ass neither!

Cuban: Well, it doesn't seem like I can do anything to change y'all's minds
(extended silence)
Cuban: WELL, GET ON WITH IT MOTHERF-
(Shots ring out)

Sam said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:48:00 PM  

The NBA: Where '80's style tucked in sweatshirts happen

colinc77 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 4:54:00 PM  

IT WAS THE DUKES! IT WAS THE DUKES!

Anonymous said...
Nov 19, 2008, 5:05:00 PM  

Here Cuban is complaining about a reaching in call against the Mavs. Little does he know how much "Reaching In" will be done where he's going...

Jeff Collier said...
Nov 19, 2008, 5:09:00 PM  

Come on now ... No wammies! No wammies! No waaaammmieeesss!!!

...

The US government looking into insider trading. Fuck... i crapped out!

grasssnakes said...
Nov 19, 2008, 5:18:00 PM  

Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic. One, two three! Because you don't fuckin' get it, Burt! You give us the tapes. We get the record contract. We come back and give you your fuckin' money. Have you heard the tapes? Have you even heard them? We're guaranteed a record deal. Our stuff is that good!

Travis said...
Nov 19, 2008, 5:49:00 PM  

Jumbotron flashes


"YYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSS! The SEC finally found my belt too"

somethingclever said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:10:00 PM  

Mom! Meatloaf! @#%^!

Lawton said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:13:00 PM  

S - E - C! S - E - C! Wait, am I not in the Georgia Dome?

Steel IX said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:24:00 PM  

MC: They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the f***ing smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.

Langston said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:31:00 PM  

MC: I had a very strong work ethic. The problem was my ethics in work.

Langston said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:32:00 PM  

Cuban: "Oh no, Oh no. The cops are coming. What do I do, what do I do?.. OK act natural, act natural. You didn't do anything.. Oh no, yes I did. (Cuban balls up like a cat and starts crying).. I knew I shouldn't have built my entire life on the teachings of Gordon Gekko..

Cop: Sir.. Mr. Cuban.

Cuban: (still crying) Alright you can take me to jail now.

Cop: Sir its me Mike, you know the head of security for the stadium.

Cuban: Oh ok, (Cuban stands up slowly, wipes snot from his face) What is it?

Cop: This guy just tried to use a stolen credit card to buy a jersey.

Cuban: Take him to jail, we don't tolerate that around here.

Langston said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:40:00 PM  

Mr. Cuban, I'll give you a choice. You can either go to pound-you-in-the-ass prison and meet new friends, or stay here in Charlotte and be Jordan's assistant with the Bobcats.

Whooooo! Can I have Martha Stewart's cell?

walnuts said...
Nov 19, 2008, 6:42:00 PM  

I needed 750,000 more reasons to live!

Mal said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:00:00 PM  

If I were a mime, this is how I would put my hands up against the wall.

Mal said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:01:00 PM  

Mark Cuban doing the African Anteater Ritual while singing "Can't Buy Me Chaaaaaampions."

Steven said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:03:00 PM  

"I'm the king of the worl...., wait what was that?" I guess sharting is real. I never should have eaten Stern's fish tacos.

Fairplay said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:10:00 PM  

STEEELLLLLAAAAAAA!!!

Winks said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:12:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:13:00 PM  

Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper (errr - mamma.com) , but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.

Mal said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:13:00 PM  

ATTENTION FANS - IF YOU ALL GIVE ME 100 DOLLARS BEFORE YOU LEAVE I WON'T HAVE TO DUMP THIS STOCK THAT I ILLEGALLY FOUND OUT WILL LOSE MONEY. CUBAN - OUT!

dsnice27 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:14:00 PM  

I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with kung-fu grip!

Mal said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:16:00 PM  

If you've been charged with insider trading, stand up and yell.
If you've been charged with insider trading, stand up and yell.
If you've been charged with insider trading, and you really want to show it, stand up and yell.

bevo said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:18:00 PM  

Who wants to sex Muto...Cuban!?!?

Bu7ch said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:37:00 PM  

We're "Woo Girls!" WOOOOO!

pete said...
Nov 19, 2008, 7:47:00 PM  

I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!

Alex said...
Nov 19, 2008, 8:02:00 PM  

DOOOOOOOOONNNNNAAAGGGGGGHHHHHYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Moiso13 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 8:15:00 PM  

Cube: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Guard: What Happened?!
Cube: (whimpering) I..I..dropped the soap....
Guard: Good thing you're rich, maybe you can be a trophy wife.

Frank T. Tank said...
Nov 19, 2008, 8:30:00 PM  

Serenity now!!!!

funkdoctor29 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 8:44:00 PM  

"Mom! Bathroom! Bathroom!"

Dupydog said...
Nov 19, 2008, 9:08:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...
Nov 19, 2008, 9:23:00 PM  

Cuban: This is how you do pull-ups in the yard! Ain't no Bloods, Crips. Lowriders, Aryan Brotherhoods or Nuestra Familias going to be fucking with Mark Cuban!

Alex said...
Nov 19, 2008, 9:24:00 PM  

Mark Cuban sees a stock market update on the Jumbo-Tron and quietly celebrates. His little stock tip has paid off, and nobody is the wiser.

N--k G-----n said...
Nov 19, 2008, 10:04:00 PM  

Saved by Zero!!!!!!

Mal said...
Nov 19, 2008, 10:38:00 PM  

maya heeeee! maya hooooooooo! maya haaaaaaaaaa! maya haahaa! maya heeeee! maya hooooooooo! maya haaaaaaaaaa! maya haahaa! (Numa Numa song)

Anonymous said...
Nov 19, 2008, 10:52:00 PM  

About to return $750,000 to the SEC, how desperate is Mark Cuban to win a free copy of NCAA Basketball 09 from AA?

*Puts hands up*

This much!

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:05:00 PM  

Cuban: Wow, these cavity searches are a breeze.

Warden: Yeah, well we're just getting started, Sir.

mtjaws said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:22:00 PM  

Whoo! I just saved a bunch money by switching to insider trading!! Hoochie Mamma.com!

The Commish said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:23:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:31:00 PM  

Ahhh...what a great nap! What are all these people doing in my bedroom...oh man, I must be having the dream where I own a crummy basketball team. Wake up Mark, WAKE UP!

Insider trading jokes...too easy.

Nick said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:34:00 PM  

The NBA marketing department is working on a couple new slogans:

The NBA where whitecolar crimal owners happens.
Where poundmeuptheass prisons happens.
Where good seats in Charlotte are still available happens.

walnuts said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:37:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
j.a.j.b. said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:38:00 PM  

The wacky Mark Cuban reminds us that many celebrities have gone to jail and still maintained a successful career in the public eye. In part 3 of his one man show, he channels Tim Allen. Cuban gets the Tool-Time themed audience enthused by tucking an early-90's style long-sleeve sports tee into a beltless pair of lee jeans, then throws his arms in the air and grunts about how powerful a tool he is, er... how powerful his tool is.

j.a.j.b. said...
Nov 19, 2008, 11:44:00 PM  

Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice..

(Russ Granik): "You did it, Sir."

(David Stern): "I did nothing. Except get caught with my britches down."

--Pause--

(DS): "Speaking of getting caught with your britches down..."

(RG): "Little Fidel sure has his shower wall / invisible glass pose down pretty well."

(DS): "Indeed... indeed."

Brian said...
Nov 20, 2008, 12:08:00 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
yanksfan12 said...
Nov 20, 2008, 1:01:00 AM  

Michael Strahan arrives with a free stick of Right Guard after all 20 people in the Bobcats Arena pass out due to Mark Cuban's B.O.

yanksfan12 said...
Nov 20, 2008, 1:04:00 AM  

KHAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Adam said...
Nov 20, 2008, 2:15:00 AM  

"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T...I mean S-M-A-R-T!

swany11 said...
Nov 20, 2008, 5:36:00 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard said...
Nov 20, 2008, 7:23:00 AM  

Cuban: Yes! That's how you defend!

Black Guy sitting behind him: Does this mean I can't join the team?

Cuban: Yeessssssssssssss!

Guy: (sighs) I was hoping to help the team play D for all four quarters.

Cuban: I can get Dennis Rodman for that. Oh wait......

Richard said...
Nov 20, 2008, 7:26:00 AM  

CUBAN: OH MYY GOOOOOOD!! It's the Jonas Brothers!

Look what I Can Do said...
Nov 20, 2008, 7:48:00 AM  

Cuban just comes to the realization that the team he assembled to fight the insider trading charge, doesn't know how to defend either. NOOOOOOOOO!!!

look what I can do said...
Nov 20, 2008, 7:50:00 AM  

"I like to picture Jesus with giant eagles wings singing lead for Lynyrd Skynryd with like a giant angel band, and I'm in the front row just hammered drunk"

John said...
Nov 20, 2008, 8:43:00 AM  

Belts are for poor people.

The Godfather said...
Nov 20, 2008, 9:02:00 AM  

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the Securities and Exchange Commission who have chosen to join us here in the Time Warner Cable Arena at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the game, and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there are still some things that make us all the same. Me, you, them, everybody, everybody!

*update to previous caption because I'm an idiot.

Mez said...
Nov 20, 2008, 9:16:00 AM  

Mark Cuban, having agreed to turn state's evidence, celebrates his entry into the Witness Protection Program after the Feds relocate him to the most out-of-the-way place guaranteed that no one will find him - a Charlotte Bobcats game.

Mr. Kennedy said...
Nov 20, 2008, 10:44:00 AM  

"I wonder if there are Eiffel Towers in prison?"

John Lackey said...
Nov 20, 2008, 11:28:00 AM  

How do these jeans look on me? Does my ass look weird? How bout my male camel-toe. It's like a three thing...it's like ball, dick, ball. Division symbol.

Fidel said...
Nov 20, 2008, 11:46:00 AM  

Look, It's the African ant eater ritual!

BigFish18 said...
Nov 20, 2008, 12:34:00 PM  

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save the Dallas Mavericks, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.

BigFish18 said...
Nov 20, 2008, 12:38:00 PM  

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