ESPN should forbid Corso from firing any guns.

That corso pick needs to be on you tube

Did anyone else see Herbstreit rubbing Corso's back lovingly during the Bobby Knight segment?

I thought ESPN learned its lesson about Corso and guns after Texas-Oklahoma at the Cotton Bowl a few weeks ago.

"I deeply hope we beat their ass today" -- Bobby Knight

I really hope someone got that last segment on video.

Watching them squirm when corso shot off the guns was priceless.

"you gotta catch that, take the suspense out of it." - after a player from the U muffs a punt

" The polar bear woke up the caveman" - after your basic 5 yd run up the middle by UVA

Doc Walker on both

Also, is the today the day Mark May finally snaps and crushes Lou Holtz since Pitt is playing Notre Dame ?

"He has to get in that hole and fill that thing" Ray Bentley

Agreed, the whole Knight segment is worth watching Gameday.

It's IMPOSSIBLE to believe that the same network produces College Gameday (2 hours of Chris, Lee and Kirk with a bit of help from Desmond and occasional guests) also produces that trainwreck of an NFL Pregame show with the cast of 1000s.

"Here Kirk, this should remind you even more of your days at Ohio State." -- Knight tossing a sweater to Herbstreit on Gameday.

"If I was in the green booth, I'd challenge that"

"My allergies are affecting my X-ray vision its hard to see." - Doc Walker on a review of whether the U scored a TD

"I did some Arena League games and this is a lot like that." - Bob Wischusen during last night's Wofford - App State after it was 14-14 with 7:00 min left in 1st

"The ball is nearly intercepted... [Pause] It's hard to tell if a defender got a hand on that."
-Dave Pasch

"He is so big he can outrun a hurricane" on a UVA WR eluding tacklers.

"UVA is imposing thier manhood" - on the blocking of the OL

"When youre a boxer and working the body, the lumberjack swings the ax" - I dont where he was going with that because UVA scored in the middle of that.

doc walker and the other guy could be the worst pair in college sports.

"Its gonna be King Kong vs Godzilla all afternoon. Two rams going at it" - on the play of a UVA DL and his counterpart on the U's OL.

"Miami always gets a tatoo." - on the pressure of Miami's DL

"Everybody stays high no belly flops" - on the blocking of Miami's OL

"You gotta have some meat and potatoes." - on being able to run up the midlle and not rely on the pass.

Doc Walker on all.
End of first 3 quarters to go for more awfulness. UVA 10-7

The Kafka quote by Rece Davis is great.

It's totally unfair to put funny quotes on this list. I thought the chronicles were supposed to be about "awful announcing."

Then again, ripping these people for minor slips is so disingenuous when most of you folks -- the webmaster included -- probably couldn't hack it as a broadcaster.

Or, if you had a chance behind the mic, you would screw up 100x worse than the pros.

Does any one of you realize how difficult it is to go error-free during a 3+ hour live telecast, with a producer and director talking constantly in your ear, spotters, stage managers, and statisticians shoving notes in front of you, etc. etc. etc.

I suppose I understand the need to point-out huge gaffes, but accidental sexual innuendos? Slips of the lip? Come on.

I'd imagine there are a few failed sportscasting careers among the frequent complaintants here.

Don't have the exact quotes, but Pam Ward kept calling Division I a conference.

Anon @ 1:03 - feel free to lighten up anytime.

We know what they do with IFBs in ears and live mikes is difficult, but this is supposed to be more fun than malicious. People say goofy and funny things on air. What's the problem with pointing it out?

"The coach has to be pulling his hair out, you gotta know where you are." - Doc Walker after a player from the U fails to go past the first down marker on 3rd

"Get some practice in for Tuesday" - Mike Hogewood plugging a text message vote on who will win the game.

"I see some concrete" - Doc Walker noting empty seats at UVA's stadium

"This guy is like a laptop on the field. He keeps everybody together"
- Doc Walker on the U's middle linebacker

Bentley just said "If he catches that ball he probably has a touchdown"

The receiver was standing in the end zone.

Would you mind updating the schedule bar to the right?

It's two weeks in the past.

Andre Ware just said something about "Miami U." If there is one school that you can't possibly make that mistake is Miami.

"One of the great punt returners in history Brian Mitchell is probably kicking his TV right now" - Doc Walker on his former NFL teamate and Miami's reluctance to field punts.

JFreak - I would except I don't know the HTML workings and don't want to fuck with the widgets.

"You got two guys on him you need to fire one of them" - Doc Walker
"You cant its college" - Mike Hogewood, after the UVA defensive player who was double-teamed still made the tackle.


Can we petition the NCAA to bar Auburn from playing in Mississippi ? Ole Miss probably just kicked their game winning FG in the 2nd qtr, 3-0 3:00 until half

Take that Bentley quote off of there. He was refering to the QB catching the ball at the snap. The WR would have been wide open if he was able to catch the snap. Instead, because he dropped the snap, Mich. State's defender was able to help out.

"UVA is playing with some attitude.
They had some pepper in their grits for breakfast."

"UVA is trying to slit their throats here." - UVA tries a long pass on the first play after recovring a fumble UVA 17-10 in 3rd. - Doc Walker

JG - can we keep Auburn from playing, period, until they acquire an offense?

S2N: I don't know if radio counts but this statement was very dumb. Listening to the Arkansas/Tulsa game play by play man Chuck Barrett said "There is a flag down, this will probably be a penalty of some sort"

S2N

I agree, since that 3-2 game against Miss St was road for Auburn. Offensive explosion 10-7 Ole Miss 9:15 left in 3rd

Memo to Raycom/SEC: Obviously UGA / FL wasnt available to you, but Auburn / Ole Miss was best you had ? Arkanasas is playing unbeaten and ranked Tulsa.

Upset alert: Ark leads Tulsa 17-0 in 1st.

"The team that gets more defensive stops will win the game." -Mark May

Wow stunning analysis Mark!

JG,arkanasas??

Arkansas
or as Les Miles calls our state, AR-KANSAS

and Tulsa just scored quickly

"Were celebrating the anniversary of the first college game. Nearly 100 spectators including Doc and I saw it." - Mike Hogewood

"Its not cute but it works" - Doc Walker after 15 yd run up middle by the U

fairplay

mistyped it

I know buddy, I am just joking with you.

"miami is just awful today on 3rd down 1 of 11. " - Steve Martin
Thank you, Captain Obvious

Steve Martin: "Nice catch and now their in field goal range"

This was in reference to Miami, who has the ball, down by seven, with just 2:30 left to play. Yeah, that field goal would be a huge help.

"19 yd completion gets them in field goal range" - Steve Martin The U is trailing 17-10 with the ball late in the 4th at the time of comment

Doc Walker, after Miami's TD with 0:55 left brought them to within one at 17-16: "Alright, now...what does Miami do? They're lining up for a field goal."

It's called a PAT, Doc, and it's not uncommon after a touchdown. God bless Raycom football.

Um, correction to my post above, that was Steve Martin, not Doc...although does it really matter?

"I'd go for two here, you got nothing to lose" - Doc Walker after the U scores a TD withh 55 seconds left.

"He stripped that like he was starting a lawnmower" - Mike Hogewood after the ball is knocked out of the UVA QB's hands

Shocking, Pavulychenko scores in stoppage time and Tottenham win!

"They've gotta spike the ball here." - Pam Ward, who thinks spiking the ball on 4th down is a good idea.

pam ward on 4th down: "Michigan State needs to spike the ball..."

"4th and 6 and Michigan State needs to spike the ball..." Pam Ward
"They can't its fourth down," corrects Ray Bentley as the next play was 4th and 6

Corso video up on ESPN

"This one from 44 and the win." -Pammy

Michigan State has to spike the ball-Pam Ward on fourth down after Mich State was stopped on 3rd and 10 with about 22seconds left in the game

Lundquist: Florida has won 16 of the last 18, or you can flip that and say Georgia has won 2 of the last 4

"This is like the movie "Trading Places."-Todd Harris, talking about the Cal QB being from Oregon and the Oregon QB being from SF.

"You could be looking away and tell that's a Touchdown."
-Doc Walker on a catch under review

No, Doc, I couldn't tell that, since on the live call you had a 30 second delay before you declared it was a TD.

I fuck kitties.

"If you hit people in the mouth, you can be a good football team" - Doc Walker

"When youre wired, you play with your hair on fire." - Danielson

@ Anon 3:40, get away from my neighbor's home then.

Rob Stone is trying to eat the "Big Ugly" sandwhich in under 15 minutes on national TV. It's pretty gross/amusing and he almost choked once when Spielman said he the sandwhich's weight (3 pounds) is his bench press

"You have to have proof that it has to be reviewed." - Gary Danielson, who stopped himself, followed by 5 seconds of awkward silence.

"Tebow did not missed practice." - Gary Danielson channeling his innet Emmitt Smith

"I need a home makeover."-David Norrie, while the crew is pimping ABC's Extreme Home Makeover.

"The defensive lineman's face to the helmet knocked off the Florida player's helmet." -Lundquist on a helmet-to-helmet contact

What a wasteful onside kick by Georgia.

"It's actually Stafford's funny bone that's hurt. He told me he can't throw the ball, I'm watching him throw the ball right now and it's pretty funny watching this.........but it's probably not funny on the Georgia bench." - Tracy Wolfson

The Cal-Oregon game is hilarious because it is pouring down rain and neither team can hold onto the ball.

SSR

Agree on the onside

"He did 188 pushups every day, one for every yard Moreno gained against them. I couldnt play there, I cant do 10" - Danielson

"I'm behind you in that line" - Lundquist

Too late to start a Gary Danielson drinking game? Drink everyt ime he says "veer"

"Let me state the obvious, but this (replay review) is taking a while." Tim Brando

"That Florida offense is a machine" Danielson


and

"Tebow with a TD" Brando

I'm so glad that we've mic'd up the Navy coach on CBS College Sports...he's so wise...so far he's said:

"go defense"
"Big down here guys"
"way to go"
"clap clap clap clap clap"

And we keep going to him why?

My bad, I meant Lundquist instead of Brando.

"The beavers control their own destiny."-David Norrie, talking about the Pac-10 standings.

Todd Blackledge checks out what to eat around college towns, David Norrie checks out the music scene. This week The Fillmore in San Franscisco.

"He is a bell cow."-David Norrie, talking about Cal center Alex Mack.

Georgia's special teams sucks, wait, is this really Texas Tech?

"That looked like a Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka suplex right there. A belly-to-back suplex right there." - Chris Spielman after an Iowa player tackled an Illinois one by the waist.

"I've been asked to lay off the crowd shots for a while." -Gary Danielson, in an obvious call-back to a few weeks ago

"You know the old saying you cant stop good players you can only contain them" - Urban Meyer channeling Dan Patrick
"What halftime adjustments did you make ?" - tracy Wolfson
"You'll see" - Meyer

"Ive been told to lay off the crowd shots for a while." - Danielson


"Even the wolf (refering to Wolfson) stalking her prey cant get it out of him" - Danielson, on FL's halftime adjustments

"Duke scores to make it 19-14." - Tim Brando, the on-screen score box shows Duke 14, Wake 19.

"When is the last time a Tennesee offense was good without David Cutcliffe ?" - Brando
"A shot across the bow there." - Lundquist

"One less fly in the ointment "- Brando noting Tulsa losing to drop from the unbeaten ranks.

"Nobody else in the nation runs this offense." Paul Maguire on GA Tech's offense. There is at least one (Navy) since that is where Paul Johnson coached previously.

"Joe the defensive back becomes Joe the runner." - Matt Winer, updating UGA / FL during FSU / GA Tech on the interception that setup the Gators third TD.

Norrie just presented Gannon with a birthday cake.

"There is 4 days to go We'll see how many write in votes he gets" -
Lundquist after a crowd shot showed a sign saying "Tebow for President"

"The sun has set on Georgia" - Lundquist coming back from commercial, aerial shot of sun going down

Sprinklers just came on during 1st OT at Notre Dame/Pittsburgh. Everyone's standing around confused. Tom Hammond: "Now I have seen everything." Video is probably worth finding, if possible.

Nessler said a couple minutes ago he, Griese, and Maguire will be at Iowa / Penn St next week

"Can you say busted coverage ? It cant get more busted than that." - Danielson after Percy Harvin was wide open in end zone for TD

"He is the real McCoy."-Hammond, on Pitt RB McCoy

"He could work for the weather channel."-Norrie, on Todd Harris talking about the sloppy field at Cal.

signal to noise is a known child molester who has broken his probation for the sake of masturbation. hey that rhymes so finish your time signal to noise this is what you get for fucking with boys.

"There are some football players on this field, let me tell you" -- Gary Danielson

Jimmmy Clausen once again proves he is overrated.

FSU trailing 31-28 with 1 minute left, had ball on GA Tech 5 FSU fumbles ball into end zone, recovered by GA Tech. GA Tech takes knee to win.

If anybody has CBS college, Navy is coming back against Temple. Navy just ran fumble back for TD to tie game. 37 segonds left in 4th

"He had a convoy to help him." - Tom Hart on the blocking on the fumble return that Navy used to tie game

"Carrie Underwood will be there."-Gannon talking about the CMA's.

AA is right, these guys do put you to sleep.

"Alligator arms by Patrick Turner" Petros Papadakis

"That touchdown pass was perfected throwed" Dr. Lou Holtz.

"The exuberant reaction from the always exuberant captain, Mark Sanchez" Petros Papadakis

"Its the moment of truth....the moment of truth...and Nate Williams....turns it down" Petros Papadakis

"We're Chock full of Johnsons here"
-- Barry Thompkins

"Tripper Johnson makes the stop on Stafon Johnson, much as he made the stop on Ronald Johnson. We are chalked full of Johnsons" Barry Tomkins
"I got a bunch of Twenties in my pocket. Andrew Johnson" Petros Papadakis

Isn't Andrew Jackson on the twenty dollar bill?

"Crawl, walk, or run...this time its a shimmy, to get their first, first down of the game" P

"Patrick Turner is an equal opportunity abuser. Quentin Richardson in the 1st quarter and Matt Mosely in the 2nd." Petros

"It's the ole student body right, but it's to the left," Petros Papadakis.

42-0 with 3:00 in the 2nd quarter. Damn. Petros is the only reason, I'm still watching.

i know this isn't pam ward chronicles material, but how bad is the state of football in washington.

stanford 58 - washington state 0 (4th qtr)
usc 42 - washington 0 (3:04 in the 2nd)

-dan

"The formation is spread out from Lubbock to Amarillo." - Brent Musberger, on Tech's first offensive play.

what a bunch of faggots paying attention to the fuckin commentators instead of the game.

you probably eat dicks too.

"They weren't able to run the ball or pass the ball, besides that, their offense was sizzling" Barry Tomkins.

"When you are Washington, what do you dial up for this play?" Petros
"You dial 911" Tomkins

"They get a three and out, and they've got a couple of first downs." - Tompkins
"Ty Willingham really got to them during halftime, didn't he?" - Petros

"Some stayed home instead of coming out in the rain. It's like that Tony! Toni! Tone! song 'Mary It Always Rains In Southern California.'" - Petros

"Ganz, play-action fake, hit as he throws, and that's going to be complete, but for a loss of about 2 yards" - Mike Patrick confuses his digitally placed lines during an 8 yard completion

"The Trojans coaches have gotten a penalty and a half this year for geekin it up!" Petros

Couldnt USC just have had a more competitive game holding a scrimmage ?

After Texas Tech scores to go up 19-0, the screen with the ESPN college football logo on it says "Every Unbeaten is vunerable"

"Tebow was hot. He had his legs working."

Craig James on ABC's halftime of the Texas/Texas Tech game.

Bob Kesling on the Tennessee radio broadcast: "Craig Colquitt on the 71 yard punt (when Britton has been the punter for 3 years).

"Partner, you're much more attractive than (Yul Brenner) was, and members of the Brenner family can send their hate mail to me." Carter Blackburn, trying to give Aaron Taylor a compliment

Dan, I agree... Both Washington teams should be relegated to 1-AA next year for such horrible seasons. Is anybody else hoping they end up facing each other with 1 combined victory (and that was against 1AA competition)?

"Some coaches throw for a hobby. Mike Leach does it for a living." - Brent Musberger

Anybody notice that Lee Corso seemed to be near every big play during the Texas-Texas Tech game.

Anon 10:29...

It's not Division I-AA anymore. It's the Football Championship Subdivision now.

I don't know who the announcers are, because random Pac-10 broadcasters aren't important to me, but in the ASU-OSU game at the end, they were talking about Rudy Carpenter. The announcer said "This is a guy who has a combination of courage and nuts".

"I'm a Bengals fan so the NFL season was over for me a few weeks ago" - Herbstreit
"Maybe they can trade Ocho Cinco or whatever his name is and draft Crabtree"- Musberger

Stay classy anon 8:21 PM

"This is a guy who is a combination of great courage and nuts."

The usually very steady Steve Physioc, when describing Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter.

-Dazzle

I forgot to tell you about Sean McDonough making fun of Rob Stone:

"And healing up from a double ankle sprain he got jumping off the Rays bandwagon...."

It was during the 15 minute challenge Rob had to eat that sandwich twice the size of his head.

I vote Chock full of Johnsons!