Pammy Standings After Week One (UPDATED)

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

It was an interesting opening weekend to the College Football season. There were a few minor upsets, but other than that the results were pretty much decided early on. It wasn't the most exciting of weekends, but it was still Football. On the announcing side of things, A lot of the teams were the exact same as last year, but a few just didn't seem ready to go. Mark Jones regressed over the offseason, Musburger and Herbstreit seemed to debate nothing for an entire second half, and Andre Ware....well he was just Andre Ware.

Here are your top ten in quotes and the standings below. If you don't agree with me, or you think something is missing, speak up in the comments and I might change things around.

Update: The masses have spoken and I clearly skipped over the Pam Ward comment on the 3rd and 9 play from Saturday. I have replaced the Cubs one and the other Pam one has been in turn bumped up to #2. I still don't think it beats out the dreadful Mark Jones, but I obviously missed adding it to the list.

Also, as far as the Musburger one goes, I understand he was poking fun at Atlanta and that was very funny. But by Pammy rules, it doesn't have to just be dumb or inane things that are said. For example, the Sean McDonough line at #3. It's not a science people, but it's all we've got!

10. "I know Clemson is down 20, so their gameplan has changed."- Kirk Herbstreit

9. "On the streets of Atlanta today we saw ticket scalpers. That's when we knew we had a major event."- Brent Musburger (Via Mal)

8. "Then you are under the pile and that is where all the dirty stuff happens."- Andre Ware
"The French Uppercut"- Dave Pasch
(Via Half Court Heave)

7. "Both of these teams like to get up to the line of scrimmage and snap the ball"- Terry Gannon (Via Sam)

6. "He's academically uneligible"- Brad Nessler (Via jg)

5. "Offensively they're like a box of chocolates. I'm not sure if anybody knows what they're going to get."- David Norrie

4. "Well glad to know, in his first hit of the season for us, Rob Stone is already in midseason whiny form."- Sean McDonough

"I've got to be right with my balls."- Brock Huard

2. "Northwestern players...looking over to the sidelines...they want to go for it."- Pam Ward on a 3rd and 9 (Via Anon)

1. "Part of the ligament that they replaced in him was a ligament from a cadaver. Yeah, he's got a part of a dead man in him, but his game is alive!"- Mark Jones

So there you have it. Our first weekend is past us and Jonesy is in the lead. I'll be back with a few more items today, but tomorrow we'll be in full swing. Enjoy your Labor Day folks, you deserve it.....I know you've been laboring hard.


Can this be amended tomorrow? Mike Patrick debuts tonight.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:53:00 AM  

Hold your horses, AA. You may have released week one Pammy standings too soon. First, Andre Ware gets another shot in the Fresno St v. Rutgers game. Plus - how could you forget one Mike Patrick. He has given us countless botched player's names, incorrect team names and idle ramblings including musings about Britney Spears! I predict he will vault to the top of the standings before the day is done. He will not disappoint us.

Mal said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:59:00 AM  

To be fair to Pam and Ray, the score at the time they had the Cubs banter was only 3-2.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 11:06:00 AM  

yeah Mike Patrick goes tonight calling the Tennessee game.

Steve M said...
Sep 1, 2008, 11:09:00 AM  

Good call everyone. We'll do some moving around again tomorrow if Mike Patrick invokes the spirit of Britney Spears again.

Sep 1, 2008, 11:23:00 AM  

nothing about pam ward discussing how much Northwestern wanted to "go for it" on 3rd and 9?

Sam said...
Sep 1, 2008, 1:24:00 PM  

I think you missed it on #9. Musburger was ripping Atlanta for being such a piss poor sports town, saying in essence that if you had to buy a ticket from a scalper in Atlanta, instead of just walking up to the window (think Braves' playoff games)...the the event is exciting even in that town. It is a brilliant observation with dry humor added.

Jeff said...
Sep 1, 2008, 1:34:00 PM  

I agree with sam, the going for it on 3rd down call by Pam should be in the top 10 somewhere.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 1:38:00 PM  

I would have Pammy's going for it on 3rd down in the top 3 somewhere. That was bad. Real bad. (or good, depending on how you want to look at it).

jfein said...
Sep 1, 2008, 1:54:00 PM  

Pam thought it was Canadian football. There, Ms. Ward, I defended you. I want my $1,000,000 pronto.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 2:29:00 PM  

I agree with Jeff. Sometimes AA doesn't get the punchline...that should be removed and should actually be on the top 10 funniest things because he gave a jab to Atlanta and AA didn't even know what the hell he was talking about.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 2:48:00 PM  

Just wondering, didnt Ron Franklin
do the Mich ST - Cal game on Sat ?

ESPN can get Ware and Pasch from Charlotte to NJ, and Davis, May and Holtz from Bristol to LA, but Franklin cant get from Berkley to LA ?

jg said...
Sep 1, 2008, 4:07:00 PM  

Andre Ware further shows his genius in today's Fresno State/Rutgers game..."Head coach Greg Schiano told us that he wanted balance on offense. Well, his team has thrown the ball nine times and run it nine times so far. Dave, I don't know how much more balanced you can get than that!" (This was near the end of the 1st quarter and the quote might not be exactly correct. If someone TIVO'd the game, they might have the exact quote)

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 4:35:00 PM  

Continuing the fine tradition of treating Rob Stone like the sideline b*tch of ESPN college football coverage, Dave Pasch (replying to a sideline feature early in the Fresno State/Rutgers game by Stoner about Rutgers closing off an end zone, causing the wind patterns to perhaps change in the stadium): "One thing we do know is that, no matter what happens with the wind, Rob's hair won't move."

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 4:41:00 PM  

Dont forget Ware's hitch your wagon comment about the kicker.

And I think Pasch used the word "Bellichickian".

there is a post on cft about a skydiver landing at Duke's stadium saturday instead of UNC's. Apparently there was cloud cover and the pilot got confused. Video of the landing too.

jg said...
Sep 1, 2008, 4:47:00 PM  

This is a good idea in principle, but it regularly fails in its execution. Misconstruing quotes without context to call somebody a terrible announcer is just dumb.

Dr Huxtable said...
Sep 1, 2008, 4:57:00 PM  

I want to further add my support for Pam's 3rd and 9 call... I would actually have put that number 1... c'mon AA, you KNOW you want to!

Rob in WI

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 6:31:00 PM  

AA, did you catch that Erin Andrews letter Rob Stone read about Rutgers fans being disappointed she didn't show up and that 'the blogs have spoken'?

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 7:19:00 PM  

@jg 4:07:

I'm all for more Ron Franklin as the next person, but he can't do three games in five days without losing a bit on the fastball. Ed Cunningham either, who couldn't wait to get out that "You can't get mad at (Cal P Brian) Anger" line on Saturday.

Sep 1, 2008, 7:41:00 PM  

the cameraman in the booth for the Tennessee game was off about 2 seconds so a green screen was there before the field replaced it then Mike Patrick spoke

Pam Ward-esque moment for camera man?

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 1, 2008, 8:12:00 PM  

From Sports USA Radio Network's coverage of the Tennessee-UCLA game:

PBP Guy - "That pass sailed towards the UCLA dance squad."
John Robinson - "Not a very attractive dance squad."

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

Pam will be added in tomorrow...I completely missed it. And people....I get what Musburger said and that it was hilarious. The points awarded aren't always for the worst quote said.

Sep 1, 2008, 9:34:00 PM  

What the hell is a french uppercut?

The Kid said...
Sep 1, 2008, 9:38:00 PM  

From the genius of Lou Holtz:

"You get 10 yds its a first down. You get enough first downs it is a touch down."

To Mark May: "You're an offensive lineman you dont understand offensive football."

Thanks for the brilliant insight. How much is ESPN paying you ?
I could probably do it for half what you're getting and come up with better.

Also, I think the camera men are horny, with all the cheeerleader shots.

jg said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:09:00 PM  

This quote sums up Mike Patrick pretty well:

"That pass should have been intercepted, but more importantly, what did Todd have to eat?"

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:29:00 PM  

Yea, Taste of the Town = watch Todd Blackledge stuff his face on someone else's dime.

jg said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:48:00 PM  

"Also, I think the camera men are horny, with all the cheeerleader shots."

Yes, this is quite true.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2008, 10:58:00 PM  

i nominate this AA line which appears in the update.

"I has replaced the Cubs one and has been in turn bumped up to #2."


-dan said...
Sep 2, 2008, 10:15:00 AM  

Mike Patrick after the tying FG - "We don't get bad games."

The viewers just get bad announcing.

Anonymous said...
Sep 2, 2008, 10:42:00 AM  

So even though it has a completely different meaning than you originally thought, you still think the Musburger quote should be on the list? WTF?

Dr Huxtable said...
Sep 2, 2008, 6:50:00 PM  

No ass...what I'm saying is that I knew/know exactly what he meant and I'm agreeing with what everyone is saying. The rankings can be for anything from hilarious to terrible.

For example....The Sean McDonough comment. It's just a top ten of quotes....just because Gary Danielson won last year doesn't mean he's the worst broadcaster. He was a combination of terrible, random and funny.

Sep 2, 2008, 7:09:00 PM  

Screw it AA, you need to go with two list to end the confusion, the Pammies and the Stoners, one's for the shitty and one's for the hilarious

Anonymous said...
Sep 2, 2008, 7:22:00 PM  

This is "named after Pam Ward because she's a really really really REALLY bad announcer" and you give "the Best quote (well worst actually)" the most points.

"I need you to add a comment when you hear any announcer say something dumb, crazy, off-the-wall, or just plain wrong."

I just fail to see how a comment that was meant to be and was funny qualifies for this list.

Dr Huxtable said...
Sep 2, 2008, 7:26:00 PM  

Yeah that might be the way to go Anon. I'll try to keep it simple for everyone.

Cliff Hux- I would have dropped that on in the off-the-wall category, but maybe that's too confusing.

Sep 2, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

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