SNF Live-Blog: Patriots @ Colts, 1st Half

Sunday, November 02, 2008


A Peyton Dollar. It might be worth more than an actual dollar these days! (I kid, I kid the economy!)

This intro still sucks, but at least it's Faith Hill and not Kenny Chesney, right? Gotta be fortunate for the little things. I am very disappointed in Coach Hobo for not wearing his Flashdance hoodie, opting for a jacket instead.

Even after only seven weeks of John this year, all the things he says just kind of start to run together; he's almost become the Frank Caliendo imitation of himself. Not that what he's saying is wrong (always) or that it can't be insightful, it's just more blather than anything interesting about these teams. This is probably because neither he nor anyone else can concretely figure out what the hell the Pats can be with Matt Cassel right now or if the Colts really are that lousy this year.

Over / Under on Brady mentions ? - JG

Last time I gave a number for this, John and Al were very good about it and were way under the stated 15. So, let's go 12, and there's one down as Al says "They better be glad they're not going against Tom Brady."

Stephen Gostowski kicks off to Pierre Garcon, who returns it just past the 20. Anyone know French? I imagine it is Pierre the Waiter, thus, I wonder if he says it "show-dehr." "It's CHOW-DAH, FRENCHIE!" Peyton to Clark for 8 yards at the 32, Addai gets one on the next carry. The third down pass to Harrison is broken up, and the punt goes to Welker, who's down at the NE 21.

Matt Cassel starts there, hands it off to BenJarvus Green-Ellis -- despite the starting line-ups saying Kevin Faulk is starting. He gets three yards. Tyjuan Hagler tackles Faulk after a screen for about two yards. 3rd down is inside handoff to Faulk, and that's short. Three and out.

Chris "Predator" Hanson boots it 64 yards, Marvin Harrison is tackled returning it inside the 20, and we get Pearl Jam's "Dissident" for a bump, even though we're nowhere near Seattle.

Addai rumbles from the 9 up to about the 14. Harrison gets his first reception right at the first down line, which the Colts get for the first chain movement of the game. Addai rushes into the pile to the 22. 2nd and 7 goes over the middle to Anthony Gonzalez to the Colts 32. Addai rushes outside and gets nothing. Manning finds Clark over the middle again and it's another first down at midfield.

Addai heads into NE territory at the 47. The Colts keep moving the ball on a 3rd and 3 pass to the sideline, where Reggie Wayne brings it in. Manning bootlegs after a fake to Dominic Rhodes, and then throws to Rhodes for 8 yards. Rhodes gets the first down, rushing inside the Pats' 25; Rhodes then gets two more. Another pass over the middle to Harrison, an open-field tackle makes it 3rd and 2. Addai gets that first down at the Pats' 12. Manning throws the 1st down pass to Anthony Gonzalez's shoulder, and he brings it in for the touchdown. Kick by Vinatieri is up and good, 7-0 Colts.

That sequence of plays looked familiar.

Why does Al Michaels insist on reminding us of the number of first downs the Colts have this drive every time they get a first down? - JFein

Nervous tic, maybe Tourette's-like. Ellis Hobbs takes the kickoff out to the Pats' 33.

Regarding the SNL election special: Fred Armisen is still a bad choice as Obama, even if he has the intonations down. It just looks bad. Are there no black comedians out there that can do it, Lorne Michaels? 2nd Brady mention right there, as part of the lineup of injured players on New England. 3rd and 3 is a pass from Cassel to David Thomas, who gets past the first down marker.

"Something I don't think I've ever said in the play-by-play is 'Bob Sanders missed the tackle.'" - Al

Next play gets out to the 48, which is where the first quarter ends.

The Colts must lead the league in white boys. - 49er16

Jason Whitlock believes this is the reason for the team's success. I was pissed about the NFL Network showing the Broncos vs. Browns game, but after today against Miami, I'm not sure I want to watch the Broncos suck in the predictable ways any more. BenJarvus Green-Ellis (great name, BTW) burrows deep into Indy territory to the 27. He then grabs five more on the ground.

"Boy, they all have that chin and the same grim look when they throw." - John, when they show pictures of Matt Cassel's baseball playing brothers.

Kevin Faulk takes the direct snap, Cassel splits wide, and they get a few yards. Heath Evans burrows through to the 17 for a first down. Cassel breaks out of the pocket and runs, sliding down at the 10 yard line. Green-Ellis gets nothing on 2nd and 5. The pass is broken up by Tim Jennings, and Gostowski is heading on. Kick is up and good, Colts, 7-3.

Next week's Sunday night game: Giants at Eagles. That should be good. Two weeks: Cowboys at Redskins. That one, not so much. Pierre the Waiter kneels after catching the kickoff in the end zone.

A retrospective of Peyton Manning is accompanied by Cracker's "Low." I find this funny for various reasons, because Peyton looks like he's "hey, hey, hey, like bein' stoned" a lot of the time. First down pass is broken up by the corner defending Harrison, and Wheatley's hurt.

Manning has to scramble out the pocket a bit, but finds Addai on the short checkdown, and Addai gets the first down on 2nd and 10. Addai only gets one on the outside before he's tackled by Tedy Bruschi. Inside handoff to Addai, who gets a couple more, after John notes the 2 linemen and 4 LB formation up front, which is useful to note. We slam guys a lot, but it's nice to have someone point these things out. Mike Vrabel makes a good ankle tackle on Addai short of the first down.

Hunter Smith punts it again to Wes Welker, and he brings it back to the 22 yard line after breaking a couple of tackles. Depeche Mode bump, using "It's No Good."

I see Mike Holmgren has taught Tony Dungy about the "3rd and X draw play" that works so well for him. - SSReporters

Nah, that's Tony's Steelers background showing.

Fun Fact: Bill Curtis found the internet around the same time FEMA realized that New Orleans was underwater. - Anon
Hey Bill Curtis give me credit I invented the internet - Al Gore

+1 to both of you. Four Names runs it up to the 27. Cassel then throws to Four Names past the 30 for a first down, and we haven't even seen Randy Moss so far, have we? Doesn't matter, as Four Names pounds to the 37. Another first down for him.

"You just love to say that name. BenJarvus Green-Ellis. He uses his mother's name Green, his father's name Ellis. This team has a Jarvis Green and an Ellis Hobbs. You know what his teammates call him? Law Firm." - Al

That's actually so good that it's replacing my dubbing of Four Names. BenJarvus, you are now "Law Firm" for the rest of this live-blog. Faulk gets a couple. Welker catches his first pass short and to the side, and they're within the 40. Evans gets a couple more, then the ref falls down and the Colts call time out.

Cassel converts the 3rd and 4 by hitting Jabar Gaffney at the 25. Gaffney went up a bit for it, nice job. The Law Firm is stopped as the Colts' defense shouts "Objection!"

"A lot of passes he's thrown this year have been behind the line of scrimmage" - Al Michaels
on Matt Cassel (via JFein)

Wait, aren't all passes thrown behind the line of scrimmage? Or does he mean that they're screens that start with the receiver behind the line of scrimmage?

Faulk takes the direct snap, throws to Welker on the screen, but Indy stuffs it behind the line. 3rd and 12 results in a rush by Faulk to the 12 to set up the FG attempt. Gostowski's kick is good, 7-6 Colts.

I think I've got Jingle Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to the five-dollar footlong Subway tune. Gostowski kicks to Garcon, who brings it to the 18. Pass for Addai gets deflected. Manning hits Wayne over the middle to the 35. Almost the exact same play to Wayne, to midfield. A short one to Addai loses yardage, and the next one is tipped and nearly picked off. 3rd and 6. Manning hits Harrison, but he can't get out of bounds. The clock stops and Peyton tries to spike it, but the Colts get called for a false start. 10-second runoff means the end of the first half, which ends 7-6, Colts.

See you in the second half thread.

54 Comments:

Where's the hoodie euro?

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:16:00 PM  

With Bob Sanders back, I like Indy.

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:18:00 PM  

Over / Under on Brady mentions ?

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:21:00 PM  

Well my birthday is in 3 days so an early gift would be to see the Pats take another whoopin.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:21:00 PM  

Subway has 5 dollar footlongs wow did not know that

Ass said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:23:00 PM  

Andrea looks like a walking skeleton.

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:23:00 PM  

That's a horrific 3rd down play.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:26:00 PM  

@ SSR: Happy birthday (in 3 days). What a shame that the Seahawks couldn't give you a nice present this weekend. :-)

Yeah, I would like to see the Pats take a whoopin', but sadly, the Colts are just not the Colts of old.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:27:00 PM  

Over/Under on Matt Cassel hasn't started a game since high school comments?

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:27:00 PM  

Eh. That storyline's had its mileage run out, 49er.

Watch for Manning Face. That never gets old.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:30:00 PM  

I lit the barbeque and then watched the fire burn as I masturbate to Playboy and try and get my cold cum to stop the fire. Then to turn myself on i take my dick and put it over the fire and then douse it with cum i keep in the freezer.

I took my burnt dick and shoved it up my neighbor's dog's ass. she yelped and begged for mercy but I ignored her because I love fucking dogs with a burnt dick.

Damn what a dick I have.

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:32:00 PM  

Thanks JFein, amazingly Seattle has lost every game played the week on or before my birthday since 2006.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:33:00 PM  

49er16

Well she doesnt have Tom Brady to keep herself up for.


They just parodied "its the Great Pumkin Charlie Brown" on the Simpsons Halloween Special, good stuff.

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:33:00 PM  

Why does Al Michaels insist on reminding us of the number of first downs the Colts have this drive every time they get a first down?

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:37:00 PM  

Hi anon, see a doctor.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:39:00 PM  

What an easy play for a TD, Pats continue to get flattened on defense.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:41:00 PM  

The Colts must lead the league in white boys.

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:42:00 PM  

A doctor? More like several different doctors in several fields/areas of work.

On to stuff people actually care about, that was a nice drive by Manning and the Colts. Hopefully we'll be seeing a lot of that today. (not a Colts fan, just a Patriots hater).

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:45:00 PM  

@ 49er16: I think you might be right...

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

Damn "Law & Order" is still on T.V. "Mash" thinks it's been on for a long time.

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:47:00 PM  

"Something I never thought I'd say on play-by-play: Bob Sanders missed a tackle" - Al Michaels apparently thinking that Bob Sandetrs is God.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:49:00 PM  

@jfein 8:47: As much as I like The Simpsons, they're gonna be on for three more seasons.

Nov 2, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

If Chuck Norris missed a tackle then that's a problem.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:52:00 PM  

Fred Armisen is not funny at all, and surely Finesse Mitchell was available?


THE CARS?!!!! That's the bump?!

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 8:57:00 PM  

Yea, and the one detective on the L & O promo played a drug dealer on "The Shield". Nice reverse casting or whatever its called.

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:00:00 PM  

@ SSR: Agreed about Armisen. The person who portrays McCain is much funnier than him. Of course, Fey's Palin is one of the best of all time.

Aspeaking of SNL and FNIA, I'm sure everyone who hates Keith Olbermann had a great night last night. Ben Affleck absolutely destroyed Olbermann in a parody of Countdown.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:00:00 PM  

@ S2N: They're probably going to flex out of that game. Then again, looking at the slate of games week 11, maybe not.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:02:00 PM  

@ Jfein, it's Darrell Hammond, who I find funny, did John McCain.


Will Ferrell and Seth Rogen are unfunny to me, nonsensical and amateurish. I prefer intelligent comedy but that's just me.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:03:00 PM  

JFein - they won't if Romo's back, and there is the fact that the sched for that week does kind of suck.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:04:00 PM  

Fun Fact: Bill Curtis found the internet around the same time FEMA realized that New Orleans was underwater.

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:04:00 PM  

Hey Bill Curtis give me credit I invented the internet

Al Gore said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:06:00 PM  

Denver/Atlanta is probably the best game that hasn't been protected, but that's it.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:06:00 PM  

I see Mike Holmgren has taught Tony Dungy about the "3rd and X draw play" that works so well for him.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:07:00 PM  

Beer commercials have gone way down hill in the past few years. They used to be good, but now they're just plain stupid.

The MTL (More Taste League): Is that supposed to be catchy? 'Cause I find nothing catchy about it.

The difference is drinkability: Ummm, if you say so. So they're pretty much saying that their beer is watery...

And yes, I also think Role Models will be stupid.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:08:00 PM  

I doubt they'd flex out of a rivalry game that involves two top 10 TV markets, unless there's some magic dust to fix Brady's knee and he plays that week.

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:09:00 PM  

SSR

How can you find out if a game is protected ?

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:12:00 PM  

You don't flex America's Team out of prime time in the middle of a sweeps month.

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:12:00 PM  

Colts/Pats games used to be exciting.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:12:00 PM  

@ SSR: Thanks for that (Darrell Hammond). I couldn't remember the name, did a quick half-assed search and still couldn't find it, even though I've heard and seen it a few times before.

Back to football...

"I think losing makes a difference" - John Madden

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:12:00 PM  

@ jg, Actually I don't, but CBS has the press release and has Chargers/Steelers with Jim Nantz and Phil Simms as the commentators.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:14:00 PM  

Is John drunk?

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:14:00 PM  

That ref ate shit on that play.

49er16 said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:15:00 PM  

If you guys want some FOX announcing schedules that we at The506 do know of and confirm, it's...


Packers @ Vikings - Joe Buck and Troy Aikman


Seahawks @ Dolphins - Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan



We have one member that apparently has FOX send him the schedules but we need confirmation of his stuff to see if he's telling the truth.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:16:00 PM  

@JFein - beer companies think you're a complete Neanderthal that wouldn't know a good beer if you even tasted it.

Their ads have mocked sports-watching dudes for years.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

"A lot of passes he's thrown this year have been behind the line of scrimmage" - Al Michaels
on Matt Cassel

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:18:00 PM  

Plus, you need a beer that has drinkability so you can deal with an unattractative chick with an annoying voice.

jg said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:21:00 PM  

Did I just see a Mccain/Palin sign in the crowd

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:21:00 PM  

Oh Gawd, another Peyton Manning commercial for Mastercard that I'm sure will be shoved down our throats for weeks to come.

I agree with SSR. This is the boringest Colts-Pats game in quite some time.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:25:00 PM  

An "Extra Night In Cleveland," Peyton?

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:26:00 PM  

@ S2N: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he meant that a lot of his passes are screens where the receiver starts behind the line of scrimmage, but with the way he said it, I just couldn't resist.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:28:00 PM  

What a horrible ending to the half. If Harrison was slick he would've stayed down and gotten an injury timeout.

ssreporters said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:30:00 PM  

OMG the clock did not stop

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:30:00 PM  

Damn, Harrison took a shot. Goota love that whole minute of Al Michaels screaming.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:30:00 PM  

@ SSR: I was thinking the same thing myself. I mean, who would have blamed him, that was a huge hit. I cringed when I saw it, I'm amazed he was actually able to get back up.

JFein said...
Nov 2, 2008, 9:31:00 PM  

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