The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Three

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Week three is upon us already everyone and we're ready to go with the PWCs. I'm splitting duties with, your friend and mine, S2N and we've got some great games to cover today. Keep the comments coming early and often.

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Three

Whoa. Some technical difficulties there with the mics going out. That's not good. Oh and that "John Buccigross For President" sign made me chuckle. Oooh and lookie here....an FJM sign...."Lee Corso Is Football's Joe Morgan"....


"Ohio State can't beat USC with singles or doubles hitters; they need home run guys." - Lee Corso (Via S2N)

Ah a baseball reference when you're being compared to Joe Morgan in the crowd.

"They had trouble tackling because they weren't bringing their feet with them." - Ray Bentley (Via S2N)

Hahaha. Now we're cooking.

"The only way you get better is in games, not practice."- Rick Walker (Via Joe)

Are we seriously going to talk about the OSU-USC during every game today ESPN? Good lord...it's only noon.

"You're talking two time zones away, three hours difference"- Andre Ware talking about Cal having problems with the time difference (Via David)

"The holder, Keegan Patterson, couldn't handle the package." - Ray Bentley, after FAU fumbles a field goal snap.

"Ringer spurts free and into the end zone!"- Pam Ward
"All he needed was a small crack to get through."- Ray Bentley

Hopefully this rainy weather brings out the double entendres. (Via Anon)

Me too Anon...me too. The game is certainly boring enough...liven it up Pam!

"Tough to be accurate when you have this much man in your face."- Charles Davis (Via Anon)

Whoa.

Also, forgot to mention the Ohio State-USC game for the 54th time, and Ray Bentley will watch it "at his palatial estate on the lake." (Via Joe)

"Any house is a palatial estate for you, Ray"- Pam Ward

Awwwwww! How sweet.

"Guess that's a tribute to how tall [Colin Kaepernick] is -- he stepped out of bounds at the 3 and they're spotting it at the 1." - D'Marco Farr (Via S2N)

"That's the full fifteen"- Andre Ware on a facemask penalty

There is only the full fifteen now, Andre.

“Great tackle, er, broken tackle by Charles. Gordon finally gets him in the backfield. Gain of 5 for Charles.”- Pam Ward (Via Landon)

I had to read that one a few times to understand it, and my head hurts now.

"I wonder if Jahvid Best's haircut came before or after his 200 yard performance. Might have something to do with his negative one yard today." - Andre Ware
"Speaking of hair, we go to someone who always keeps his hair in good shape, Rece Davis." - Dave Pasch
"I always try to stay well coiffed." - Rece Davis

"You know, if I were Maryland on first down...I would just take a shot. Because its either gonna be a passing interference, completion, or incompletion. No harm done."- Andre Ware

....Or it can be intercepted Andre. (Via Anon)

"Wow! A surge at the end by Joe Surgan."- Dave Armstrong on Navy-Duke game (Via Joe)

Oh man. I just got sent the Cal player puking vid and that is just about the grossest thing I've ever seen. I'll have the video up in a few.

"A little redemption for Dufrene, but not Shawshank."- Rece Davis

"Iowa's starting to shit -- sit! -- on these shorter routes." - Charles Davis (Via Anon)

"We see a bunch of wet stuff coming up from the ground."- Pam Ward

That's called water, Pam! (Via Noah)

"Some would say Chris Turner's hair is muppet'esque, but his play is certainly not."- Dave Pasch

What does that even mean?

"Cal with 3rd and about a forearm"- Dave Pasch

It was 3rd and 25. (Via JG)

"You've got on Costa on offense, one Costa on defense, and both Costas playing good Football for Maryland"- Andre Ware
"I think BOB Costas could have made that sack!"- Dave Pasch

So so lame.

---------

Hey folks, S2N here to fill in....watching UGA/South Carolina for Verne and Gary action while flipping to UM/ND in commercials.

"You said it before the game started Charles, you really felt like they (Iowa Hawkeyes) NEEEDDED this win today."- Thom Brennaman
"To me it wasn't just needed, they had to have it." - Charles Davis (via Anon)

Final score: 17-5. Ouch.

"Just one offside kick recovery." - Andre Ware

Or an Onside kick, but it's your show - SSReporters

Whatever. It's no match for the Greatness That Is Andre Ware (and I'm adding that tag to this post.)

"...and fans who wish every day would be Saturday." - Verne Lundquist, oh so close to namedropping EDSBS for the second time ever.

"He's a chain-mover, he's a clock-eater." - Gary Danielson, on Knowshon Moreno.

"That's what I call Sheets in the wind." - Brad Nessler (via Interplace55)

"That hole was so big he had to score!" - Paul Maguire (via Anon)

"It's early in the season; you can take a mulligan." - Danielson, on the clock issues during UGA/S. Carolina

On Lou Holtz participating in the coin toss:

Pat Haden: "You think he brought Mark May with him?"
Tom Hammond: "I think he was happy to get away from him." (via Sean)

Zing.

"There is nothing that South Carolina has tried in this game that has been clean at all." - Danielson

"Stephen Garcia, who has missed the two minicamps with alcohol-related issues..." - Lundquist. I know, it's only funny if you hear Verne say it, but "alcohol-related issues" is being delicate.

"I wouldn't want to be the guy responsible for running the play clock." - Lundquist
"It's not that hard. All you have to do is push one button." - Danielson

"both Quarterbacks shown that their wheels aren't that wobbly" Brad Nessler on OB Running (via Interplace55)

Whoa. Just saw the Hail Mary to end the Buffalo-Temple game....DAYUM.

"I just don't believe the fans could have expected a Steve Spurrier team to be this bad on offense." - Danielson. Gary, where have you been? The Cocks have stunk offensively for the past few years, even with Head Ball Coach.

"Moreno gets in touch with his inner Edwin Moses." - Lundquist, showing the highlight of Knowshon hurdling a Central Michigan defender.

These are some incompetent SEC refs handling UGA/S. Carolina:

"Wait a minute, that would be pass interference and a block in the back, both on South Carolina....I'm confused." - Danielson

After the PI call negates the pick, more Gary: "To me, that's rewarding a bad play by Georgia."

"Could you use a couple minutes to recollect yourself?" - Lundquist
"No, I'm ready to go!" - Danielson

Obviously.

"It's kind of a triple option; [Steven Threet] can run the ball or throw that little out to Otis." - Pat Haden. Um, Pat, we're missing an option here. That's two.

"It's simple to shoot a gun. It's difficult to hit a target. That's kind of like [BYU's] offense." - Glenn Parker

"Jimmy Clausen about to take the field again." - Hammond
"Half of his completions have been for touchdowns." - Haden
"How many is that?" - Hammond
"Oh, 50, maybe 53 percent." - Haden

Yikes.

I missed the exact quotes, but Nessler, Griese, and Maguire were talking about Robert Redford for some reason. They're bored.

"Stafford had dinner with Romo, Jessica was not there." - Verne Lundquist

Verne channeling Mike Patrick - JG

"... Skip Holtz's team beating Georgia..."- Tom Hammond, running down the South Carolina game on the ticker (via Anon)

"Looks like there's a fag down in the end zone" - Hammond (via Ryan Huey)

Seriously? Whoops!

"In anticipation of the rain both teams practiced with wet balls this week." - Alex Flanagan (via two different Anons).

I'll leave you all to make the easy jokes about the comely Flanagan and wet balls.

Wow did anyone else see Charlie Weis' knee go out? That thing got destroyed, he probably tore multiple ligaments. That's gonna be a tough recovery for a guy his size. - Jay

Yep, saw that. Came back with that leg wrapped and a crutch before the half.

"I've seen some late night bar bouncers that don't throw people out this hard." - Glenn Parker, on the 245-lb BYU RB Harvey Unga.

That'll show Charlie not to accept Dana Jacobson's apology! She put a voodoo curse on him. - Enrique

Dude, we just had a mind meld. I was thinking about a karma joke right before I refreshed the comments.

Contractually required Texas Lutheran reference for Verne - JG

Do you have the whole quote? I turned away because this game is setting back offensive football.

"Maybe Charlie's protege Tom Brady and he can rehab together." - Pat Haden
"They've been texting each other all week." - Tom Hammond

Pat and Tom are rising in the ranks on this stuff, man.

"[Josh Nesbitt] hit the outside, and look what he did to [the defensive end], it's like a cat and mouse game." - David Norrie, except Nesbitt would be the mouse and the cat missed him. Mixing up metaphors.

"I don't think you go for two here." - Norrie, again after a GT touchdown and they get backed up on a false start on the conversion. The conversion was successful from 7 yards out.

"And Virginia Tech kicks the field goal to go up 9." - Terry Gannon

...umm, the score is 17-9...let's get this basic math right fellas. -Andrew

"How appropriate that the Ducks got help from a Bird [the PR's last name]." - Brad Nessler, after a Janus Byrd return for a TD.
"Well, the bird is in flight for the Ducks." - Nessler, two seconds later before break

(both via NHZ)

"They had me on Drinking with the Stars." - Paul Maguire (via Scumdog)

"The miserable day for UCLA continues." - Joe Beninati, after UCLA misses a figgie wide.

I won't even go into the stupidity of kicking a FG when trailing 59-0 with 11 min left in the 4th. - JG

To say Rick Neuheisel has a lot of work to do is an understatement.

"There are few things worse than being soaking wet and down 35-17." -- Tom Hammond

(giggles)

"Spurrier is showing his frustration on the sideline. And Steve being Steve, he has thrown his pen, his headset and, yes, his visor once." - Tracy Wolfson (via Mal)

Ol' Ball Coach just wishes he had another year of eligibility so he could throw the football instead of Smelley or Garcia.

"South Carolina cannot stop the clock. Except on an incomplete pass." - Verne Lundquist

Or run out of bounds since there is 1:33 left in the game. These guys don't read the rules? - SSReporters

Baseball Bonus Bad Announcing: "Mike Hampton was once recruited to play college football as a defensive back and he just showed some bulldog out there." - Mark Grace, during Braves-Mets (via Bazooka Jones)

"See if Jones caught this play." - Gary Danielson (via SSReporters, who's pretty sure he meant to say "the ball.")

"You're bad luck Verne, you're like the anti-Santa of South Carolina football" - Gary Danielson (via Anon)

We got OT in Oregon-Purdue, which means more Nessler-Griese-Maguire nuttiness.

"Oregon lives to play... well at least for another couple of minutes" - Brad Nessler (via Interplace)
"Blount just banging his way downfield." - Brad Nessler (via SSReporters)
"They cant get a first down here, they have to score." - Paul Maguire (via JG)

Uhh, Paul if the rule is the same as the NFL a touchdown counts as a first down. - JG

Oregon driving...and the OT win for the Ducks.

Feel free to leave Musburger and Herbstreit quotes from the Big Game. I may be in and out -- I'd like to actually put my full attention into being a USC homer.

"Look for number 2 to be inserted." - Kirk Herbstreit referring to Terrell Pryor (Via SS)

"Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you better." - Mike Patrick (Via Anon)

156 Comments:

"Ohio State can't beat USC with singles or doubles hitters; they need home run guys." - Lee Corso

Also, I saw an "I Love Caribou Barbie" double sided sign with "My Foot Hurts" on the other. I wasn't aware Beanie Wells voted Republican.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:00:00 PM  

BTW, Pammy's in an all black getup today.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:00:00 PM  

the announcing schedule is pointing to last week...

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:05:00 PM  

Fixed...my fault.

Sep 13, 2008, 12:07:00 PM  

"They had trouble tackling because they weren't bringing their feet with them." - Ray Bentley

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:09:00 PM  

Doc Walker (NC State-Clemson): "The only way you get better is in games, not practice."

Joe said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:20:00 PM  

"The holder, Keegan Patterson, couldn't handle the package." - Ray Bentley, after FAU fumbles a field goal snap.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:27:00 PM  

New Drinking Game: drink everytime Pasch or Ware mention the USC-Ohio State game or when ESPN promos it. I'm already buzzed.

fairplay said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:28:00 PM  

Seriously...it's bugging me already.

Sep 13, 2008, 12:32:00 PM  

Nice outfits Andre and Dave.

PlayoffBeard said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:47:00 PM  

Pam Ward: Ringer spurts free and into the end zone!

Ray Bentley: All he needed was a small crack to get through.

Hopefully this rainy weather brings out the double entrendres.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:51:00 PM  

I've got Andre at four mentions of the Pacific Time Zone effect on Cal so far.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:52:00 PM  

Charles Davis on the Iowa vs. Iowa State game:

"Tough to be accurate when you have this much man in your face."

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:53:00 PM  

Another mention by the crew on the early start, and "Maryland has dropped a few pins on (Cal), down by 15." (Dave Pasch)

Joe said...
Sep 13, 2008, 12:57:00 PM  

Also, forgot to mention the Ohio State-USC game for the 54th time, and Ray Bentley will watch it "at his palatial estate on the lake."

"Any house is a palatial estate for you, Ray"- Pam Ward.

Joe said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:03:00 PM  

"Guess that's a tribute to how tall [Colin Kaepernick] is -- he stepped out of bounds at the 3 and they're spotting it at the 1." - D'Marco Farr

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

"Get a good look now because I'm going to look like hell at the end of this game." - Kelly Webster (sideline reporter at the start of Stanford v. TCU in Fort Worth where it's raining like hell.)

Barry Green said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

"I wonder if Jahvid Best's haircut came before or after his 200 yard performance. Might have something to do with his negative one yard today." - Andre Ware
"Speaking of hair, we go to someone who always keeps his hair in good shape, Rece Davis." - Dave Pasch
"I always try to stay well coiffed." - Rece Davis

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:12:00 PM  

Just a random rant here, but I just wanted to tell everyone that I can't stand the fucking Big Ten Network.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:18:00 PM  

Pam Ward: "You had some green blood in you for awhile."

I didn't know Ray was a Vulcan.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:19:00 PM  

Oh I agree Anon. Crappy announcers, crappy Football Teams, crappy graphics. I get all of the extra games and there's not one I ever want to watch.

Sep 13, 2008, 1:23:00 PM  

When Maryland was on its own 1....

"You know, if I were Maryland on first down...I would just take a shot. Because its either gonna be a passing interference, completion, or incompletion. No harm done." -- Andre Ware

....Or it can be intercepted Andre.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:27:00 PM  

From Thursday's UNC-Rutgers game:

After a UNC player ran thru the Rutgers defense:

"I wonder what his 40 time is." -Craig James

"Faster than the guys in red." - Chris Fowler

I love it when the PbP guy basically tells the analyst to shut up, I would have loved to see the look on Fowler's face during this exchange

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:28:00 PM  

"Wow! A surge at the end by Joe Surgan." Dave Armstrong on Navy-Duke game.

Joe said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:33:00 PM  

Where's Lou Holtz today?

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:40:00 PM  

Where's Lou Holtz today?

They're celebrating the 1988 ND championship in South Bend - that's where Dr. Lou is.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:42:00 PM  

"Iowa's starting to shit -- sit! -- on these shorter routes." - Charles Davis

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:47:00 PM  

The Big Ten at its best:
Iowa 3
Iowa State 0
11:00 left in the 3rd quarter

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 1:51:00 PM  

"He's celebrating a birthday today. He can't quite say he's a man, he's 40. Not like you can, Andre." - Dave Pasch.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm 26." - Andre Ware
"Gotta love Google." - Pasch

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 2:10:00 PM  

"We see a bunch of wet stuff coming up from the ground." Pam Ward.

That's called water, Pam!

Noah said...
Sep 13, 2008, 2:14:00 PM  

Hahaha that might be a winner Noah.

Sep 13, 2008, 2:20:00 PM  

Dave Pasch:

Cal with 3rd and about a forearm

It was 3rd and 25

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

I think the Cal-MD production meeting must have gone like this:

1) Promote OSU-USC

2) Talk about the time difference

3) Talk about how warm it is

4) Every time MD RB Devin Meggett touches the ball, mention he is the son of an NFL player.

5) Repeat until the viewer's heads explode.

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 2:34:00 PM  

I live in Arizona, and I don't know what gets into him while doing College Football, but Dave Pasch is excellent doing Arizona Cardinals games. Maybe it's an ESPN curse?

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

You'd think that in an English speaking country, at the least, they would have English speaking announcers on an English speaking network.



But I guess Andre Ware has to get a job somehow.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:05:00 PM  

Via big ten network...

"You said it before the game started Charles, you really felt like they (Iowa Hawkeyes) NEEEDDED this win today". Thom Brennaman

"To me it wasn't just needed, they had to have it". Charles Davis

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:23:00 PM  

"The Fighting Lettermans of Ball State beat Akron, 31-10." - Tim Brando

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:24:00 PM  

"Just one offside kick recovery," - Andre Ware


Or an Onside kick, but it's your show.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:27:00 PM  

Lundquist / Danielson alert !

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:31:00 PM  

JG - all over it.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:39:00 PM  

"Thats what i call Sheets in the wind" - Brad Nessler

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:42:00 PM  

"that hole was so big he had to score!" Paul Mcguire - Oregone Purdue

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:42:00 PM  

On Lou Holtz participating in the coin toss:

Haden: "You think he brought Mark May with him?"
Hammond: "I think he was happy to get away from him."

Sean said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:45:00 PM  

"both Quarterbacks shown that their wheels aren't that wobbly" Brad Nessler on OB Running

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:52:00 PM  

"They Like their home-cooking with Painter" Bob Griese

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:54:00 PM  

"It's not that hard... I've only got one button." Gary Danielson

Fairplay

fairplay said...
Sep 13, 2008, 3:55:00 PM  

Did I anger the football gods by having Mike Patrick call the soon to be 56-10 OU/Washington game?

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 4:17:00 PM  

What the hell has happened to Syracuse the last few years?? This team is absolutely awful.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 4:56:00 PM  

Lundquist

Stafford had dinner with Romo, Jessica was not there.

Verne channeling Mike Patrick

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 4:58:00 PM  

"... Skip Holtz's team beating Georgia..."- Tom Hammond, running down the South Carolina game on the ticker

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:02:00 PM  

Hammond:

"Looks like there's a fag down in the end zone"

Ryan Huey said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:06:00 PM  

UM/ND weather update:
"Both teams played with wet balls this week."

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:10:00 PM  

"There's a fag in the end zone." - Tom Hammond

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:11:00 PM  

"In anticipation of the rain both teams practiced with wet balls this week."

Alex Flannagan

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:13:00 PM  

Wow did anyone else see Charlie Weis' knee go out? That thing got destroyed, he probably tore multiple ligaments. That's gonna be a tough recovery for a guy his size.

Jay said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:18:00 PM  

Speaking of comely sideline reporters, I think Traci Wolfson spent the offseason at the beach.

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:40:00 PM  

That'll show Charlie not to accept Dana Jacobson's apology! She put a voodoo curse on him.

Enrique said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:41:00 PM  

Contractually required Texas Lutheran reference for Verne

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:45:00 PM  

"Jerry won't be able to spell his own last name after that hit" Brad Nessler Again

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 5:58:00 PM  

whoever's announcing the virginia tech-georgia tech game (not sure who we've got today)- "and virginia tech kicks the field goal to go up 9"...umm, the score is 17-9...let's get this basic math right fellas.

Andrew said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:01:00 PM  

S2N

There wasnt an actual quote about Texas Lutheran They posted the score in an item about games moved because of Hurricane Ike.

Apparently BYU has taken all the offense today. leading UCLA 52-0 1:14 left in third

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:01:00 PM  

Whoever is the play-by-play on ESPN just said in the span of one minute after an Oregon PR TD:

"How appropriate that the Ducks got help from a Bird [the PR's last name]."

and then, before the commerical break:

"Well, the bird is in flight for the Ducks."

Twice? Really? He had to do that TWICE?

NHZ said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:02:00 PM  

"They had me on drinking with the stars"

Paul MacGuire

scumdog0331 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:08:00 PM  

Just so you guys know, Ohio State is playing USC in the Coliseum at 8:00 PM ET.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:09:00 PM  

Normally I like Brad Nessler, but these stupid puns must make Keith Jackson throw his wine bottle at the TV.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:10:00 PM  

"One of the best attributes of a quarterback, is when you have gigantic hands..." - Brock Huard in the PSU-Cuse game

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:13:00 PM  

"You as a quarterback have to get the ball out of your hands." - Gary Danielson

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:15:00 PM  

Living in Washington, I'll say to all of you that Brock Huard is a terrible analyst......and we apologize.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:17:00 PM  

Understatement of the day:

"The miserable day for UCLA continues." - Joe Beninnati

After UCLA missed a field, I wont even go into the stupidity of kicking a FG when trailing 59-0 with 11 min left in the 4th.

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:18:00 PM  

"He's a cat of few words" - Joe Beninati on an actual Tim Neverett interview of both the UCLA and BYU mascots.

Steve Lepore said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:21:00 PM  

"There are few things worse than being soaking wet and down 35-17." -- Tom Hammond

Jay said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:22:00 PM  

After a block in the back wipes out a big punt return for S. Carolina in the 4th quarter Danielson comments: "You wish your players wouldn't do that".

Hmmm. Really?

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:25:00 PM  

AA, it's spelled Beninati.

Steve Lepore said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:25:00 PM  

Nessler was talking about Jairus Byrd, by the way. On both quotes.

NHZ said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:26:00 PM  

terry gannon at the virginia tech/georgia tech game....again....."and he moves the chains. 3rd and 2"...terry, in order to move the chains, 10 yards must be gained to physically reset the chains. i don't think terry understands the concept because this isn't the first time he's said it in this context.

Andrew said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:27:00 PM  

Steve and NHZ - thanks.

Nessler is all over the puns. "Byrd had both wings on him earlier."

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:29:00 PM  

Tracy Wolfson: "Spurrier is showing his frustration on the sideline. And Steve being Steve, he has thrown his pen, his headset and, yes, his visor once".

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:30:00 PM  

This just in...Weis orchestrates knee injury in hopes that by being more like Tom Brady he can also start nailing a supermodel.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:32:00 PM  

mal 6:32

he just wants to nail Alex
Flanagan (so do I)

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:35:00 PM  

Grr......Lundquist is doing a decent job, yet he was atrocious in the NFL preseason?

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:38:00 PM  

JG: Ahem.

NO MENTIONING ALEX FLANAGAN, SEX, AND FAT CHARLIE IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

Sorry for the caps, but I have to insist.

SSreporters -- NFL is not his game. He's much more comfortable and in his element with the college game.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:40:00 PM  

NFL is not his game? He was a longtime radio announcer for the Cowboys!


"Georgia Tech is going to have to get a pass 30 yards downfield and get out of bounds." - David Norrie


Not with 4 seconds David.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:46:00 PM  

23-20 game with 6 minutes left (Oregon/Purdue) and ESPN is still talking about OSU/USC.

Bazooka Jones said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:49:00 PM  

SS - I honestly think he's so used to college now that calling a pre-season pro game is different.

Bazooka - even I'm tired of them pimping that game and I'm a USC homer.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:50:00 PM  

Notre Dame won so watch them vault up to #2 in the country.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:51:00 PM  

Ha, Weis has a torn ACL and MCL like Tom Brady!


Notre Dame fans immediately called Michigan a dirty organization.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:54:00 PM  

ssreporters 6:51

They will probably go to # 1 with all the sympathy for Weiss, ND actually got votes in the USA Today coaches poll this week after beating SD State.

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:57:00 PM  

I've watched 3 innings of the Braves/Mets game on Fox, and Mark Grace is just horrible.
These needed to be included in this:
"Mike Hampton was once recruited to play college football as a defensive back and he just showed some bulldog out there."
& "The ghosts of Bagwell and Biggio still spurning-on that Houston club."

I don't get the first a little bit, and I'm not a big ghost person, but I'm pretty sure you have to be dead to have one.

Bazooka Jones said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:58:00 PM  

"South Carolina cannot stop the clock. Except on an incomplete pass." - Verne Lundquist


Or run out of bounds since there is 1:33 left in the game. These guys don't read the rules?

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 6:58:00 PM  

Since when do Pac-10 refs go to SEC games? This is some horrible officiating in the Georgia/South Carolina game.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:00:00 PM  

"See if Jones caught this play." - Gary Danielson


THE BALL DANIELSON!! THE BALL!

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:02:00 PM  

Smelley flies out to center, Georgia wins 14-7 over those pesky Gamecocks thanks to some great hitting and base running.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

"You're bad luck Verne, you're like the anti-Santa of South Carolina football" -Gary Danielson

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

S2N

that was bazooka jones withe the baseball quote

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

JG - thanks, fixed.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:08:00 PM  

"Oregon lives to play... well at least for another couple of minutes"
Brad Nessler

InterPlace55 said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:10:00 PM  

Overtime football means more puns for Nessler.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:11:00 PM  

"Blount just banging his way downfield." - Brad Nessler

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:14:00 PM  

Pac-10 football is an embarrassment, Oregon struggling, UCLA loses 59-0, Washington State losing 45-17, Cal losing 35-27 to Maryland.


USC better salvage the day because Washington won't do anything.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:18:00 PM  

They cant get a first down here, they have to score. - Maguire

Uhh, Paul if the rule is the same as the NFL a touchdown counts as a first down.

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:21:00 PM  

OREGON WINS!!!!!! PAC-10 BEATS MIGHTY PURDUE!

(Gets up and eats some chips.)

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:28:00 PM  

I hope Washington doesn't perform well because that means Ty Willingham may get a contract extension.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:44:00 PM  

What a friggin joke of a first possession for UW.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:50:00 PM  

Dear Huskies,


Tackle.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:53:00 PM  

Nice, already Oklahoma scores.....this is a hopeless defense. Patrick sounded surprised.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 7:55:00 PM  

"Look for number 2 to be inserted." - Kirk Herbstreit referring to Terrell Pryor


Giggles.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:04:00 PM  

Kenny Chesney? Way to know your audience, ABC.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:05:00 PM  

They (USC) are going to give them their hands full - Flutie

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:11:00 PM  

Some Erin Andrews cleavage.....very nice.

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:18:00 PM  

Lisa Salters: "You can touch the swagger".

And then, she reports Ken Norton Jr. said, "We wanted Beanie Wells to feel the Trojans".

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:20:00 PM  

Brent: "The sun will dissolve to the west". File that under "This Just In".

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:20:00 PM  

Concerning OSU/USC. The ABC national feed was screwed up for about a minute at around the 10 minute mark in the first quarter. I visited a Buckeye fan forum and you would have thought it was the end of the world. Nutjobs.

jared said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:36:00 PM  

"[sordidly] And Penn State's going to call a timeout here, they want to get their offense back out there...I mean they're already up 35-3, they're running the spread offense, with the first team, throwing it downfield, wide receiver reverse passes, some would accuse them of running up the score, and now they're calling timeouts, [excitedly]well you know what, I'm okay with it!"
-Bob Wischusen

Devon Edwards said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:55:00 PM  

Tony Kornheiser just referred to that throw by Sanchez as either Leinert-like or Booty-licious.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 8:56:00 PM  

"Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you better." - Mike Patrick

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:03:00 PM  

This game is ovah!

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:10:00 PM  

Holy crap! What's the deal with UW? Was Ty's pre-game speech "We're not going to let UCLA be the PAC 10 team that gets beat the worst this weekend!"

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:12:00 PM  

mal 9:12

Well UW is only down by 34 at the half, UCLA was down 42

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

Frank Beckmann >>> Todd Boeckman

/not really saying much

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:39:00 PM  

Kirk I know you are busy being objective but 18 points is three touchdowns

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:53:00 PM  

Why the heck was The Sweater Vest running away from Erin Andrews when she was trying to talk to him as the team was leaving the field at the half? He's either gay or has no explanation for why his team sucks so badly in big games. Possibly both.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 9:55:00 PM  

Mark Jones just used the word "dap."

Word!

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:01:00 PM  

Auburn and Miss ST setting offensive football back 50 yrs.
3-2 Auburn 5:38 left in 4th.

18 punts between the teams

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:05:00 PM  

[i]Do you have the whole quote? I turned away because this game is setting back offensive football.[/i]

This was said BEFORE the Auburn/Miss St. classic 3-2 game happened.

stephen said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:12:00 PM  

I have to leave this here for later:

"This is the best 3-2 game I've ever been involved in." - Bob Davie, on the current cripple fight between Auburn and Mississippi State.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:17:00 PM  

Auburn got a hat trick early in the game before a double by Mississippi State, great soccer game so far.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:19:00 PM  

That's SEC football for you, 20-13 is a shootout, we have games that end 3-2, but the games are always close.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:21:00 PM  

joe McKnight reminds Brent Musburger of Reggie Bush...overstatement of the year perhaps!

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:33:00 PM  

Auburn fans, buy your earplugs now, Patrick and Blackledge are doing your game next week

jg said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:33:00 PM  

55-7 Oklahoma.


If this doesn't haul Willingham out of the country then nothing will.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:39:00 PM  

Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2. SEC baseball is FAN-tastic.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:41:00 PM  

They really looked like they were deafeated- Erin Andrews on the the OSU camp's mental state. The score is 28-3 Trojans :) i still love you erin

Omer said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:41:00 PM  

Love that cheerleader shot of the camera panning by her sweater puppies.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:43:00 PM  

Gosh, if the Seahawks lose tomorrow, Washington will be the worst football state in the country.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:44:00 PM  

I don't know. It may be Ohio - Suckeyes, Bengals and Browns.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:45:00 PM  

Washington is coming back, 55-14!

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:47:00 PM  

who the f made a big deal of this shitty game (OSU-USC)? ahem ahem ESPN!!

Omer said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:47:00 PM  

Buckeyes are still a top 25 team that will fade in Bowl games, but......


Washington, Washington State, Eastern Washington, Western Washington, and the Seahawks have won 0 games.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:48:00 PM  

The Brent Musberger random batch of insanity after TRAVELER was riding around the field after the 5th USC TD was...pretty delusional. I was too busy staring at the TV with my mouth wide open to transcribe, though.

Joe said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:49:00 PM  

It's the Collision at the Coliseum, dude. Haven't you heard? I think I've seen this game before the past two Januarys.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:50:00 PM  

35-3, Jim Tressel is severely overrated.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:54:00 PM  

yeah joe i noticed that too, but that was typical brent bias showing its ugly head...he's clearly pissed that his team is losing so bad

omer said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:56:00 PM  

Tell ya what, Herbstreit probably has the noose in there pretty tight seeing his team he constantly praises lose.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 10:57:00 PM  

We get it, Seattle sports sucks, now stop rubbing it in, focus on something else.

ssreporters said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:00:00 PM  

man, i haven't watched MADtv in a while but when did it stop being funny and just became retarded

omer said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:08:00 PM  

Kirk has actually done a decent job of being unbiased. He is clearly pained, but he isn't as bad a homer as I thought he'd be.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:16:00 PM  

Pete to The Sweater Vest at the post game hand shake: "Tell me how my a$$ tastes".

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:17:00 PM  

Kirk: "When you get out of the midwest, the Big Ten has become a punchline to people around the country when they talk about how overexposed, overhyped and a bit of a fraud the conference is overall. The team captain of that is Ohio State because of the last two national titles. And what happens tonight? A smashing loss." Ouch. Coming from Herbstreit, that's like your momma telling you that you're ugly and she doesn't love you.

Mal said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:28:00 PM  

Wanna whine some more, SSReporters?

Anonymous said...
Sep 13, 2008, 11:48:00 PM  

If Wisconsin loses this game, the incompletion/fumble call here in the 3rd takes the lead as the worst call of the year,

Sean said...
Sep 14, 2008, 12:56:00 AM  

Sean

That was a terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE call... now we know why no team will go into Fresno to play them.

Dammit, I'm pissed off.

Rob in WI

Anonymous said...
Sep 14, 2008, 1:00:00 AM  

Pressure...and puts him down. -Joe Tessitore

Does this count as a double entendre since it's the Bulldogs??

Anonymous said...
Sep 14, 2008, 1:02:00 AM  

That's Allan Evridge's Music!

Ok, doesn't QUITE have the same meaning as the Paul Pierce comeback.

Anonymous said...
Sep 14, 2008, 1:36:00 AM  

ERIN ANDREWS SWEET FIRM ASS AT HALFTIME! WHERE ARE THE SHOTS?

Anonymous said...
Sep 14, 2008, 9:10:00 AM  

mmm, if Lee Corso is College Football's Joe Morgan, does Joe Morgan also wear a merkin?

Anonymous said...
Sep 14, 2008, 11:15:00 AM  

"Cal with 3rd and about a forearm"- Dave Pasch

It was 3rd and 25. (Via JG)

**********

I heard it as "3rd and a four iron". Anyone have a replay?

Jason said...
Sep 15, 2008, 10:30:00 AM  

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