I think I know who is responsible for the high speed chase in Pittsburgh.

From yesterday's PTI cut-ins discussion: "the next logical step is to put products in their hands during the cut-ins."

Like when McDonough & Spielman were talking about Chris' favorite brand of Jack Links Beef Jerky?

This exchange was kind of awkward from the Northern Alabama/Carson-Newman game last Thursday:

Roland Williams: "And the ball hit him in the wrong spot that time.....um.....Yeah."

Tom Hart: "What spot was that?"

Williams: "In the old.....uh.....Hands."

A Gameday feature on Tim Tebow?! WTF!!!?!

Aw man, Andre Ware is calling the Michigan game.

I hate Ohio State, and I hate Pam Ward. The only reason I haven't thrown my remote into the tv is because I'm waiting for Ray to say something entertaining.

Only in America.

(Yes, it's 7 seconds into the game).

Chris Spielman should be in the booth, not sideline reporting. Send Pammy or Ray-Ray down on the field.

"6' 6" 230 pounds he's not supposed to be able to move like that."

Andre Ware on a Steven Threet 7-yard run

"There's good looking James Laurenitis" - Ray Bentley

Hahaha....I don't know why that made me laugh so hard, Anon.

Way to bring the thunder early people. Especially when these games blow.

Wow...

"I guess you can say he's a "Threet" to run."

Dave Pasch

Anyway, looks like Michigan is going to blow out Miami.

Pam Ward: "Mike Enyon made headlines when he won the lottery. $250,000"

Ray Bentley: "That's a lot of pizza to buy for him and his buddies at Ohio University"

Bentley: "Ohio State's first two possessions were 2-and-outs."

Ward: "And (OU QB Theo) Scott gets it up..."

"You gotta get positive yards initially before you start having guys miss"

Ware

Is ESPN totally kissing Ohio's ass today or what? Ohio vs. Ohio State on ESPN while ESPN2 has Miami of Ohio vs. Michigan. WTF? BTW, how bad does Michigan need to get before we take away their tv privileges?

I'm a fan Pete and I approve of your ban.

San Jose State's up 7-0 on Nebraska in the first quarter. I'm surprised ESPN didn't throw the UPSET ALERT tag on the Bottom Line.

"Now Wisconsin has a decision here - take the ball and the yardage or make Marshall rekick 5 yards back" - Charles Davis

This was said immediately after Marshall scored to make it 14-0 and then kicked the ensuing kickoff out of bounds

I don't have the time nor the inclination to explain the many things wrong with that statement...

Rick Walker Doing the GA Tech / BC game:

"he rode that down like a mule."

On a tackle behind the line of scrimmage.

With GA Tech having a First and goal:

"you gotta do it better than the other team."

Thanks for the insight.

"Big time players make big time plays in big games". - Chris Spielman

Really? I never knew that...

Ray Bentley on the deep ball:
"Yeah, let it wing."

"Dr. Lou and Mark May on the couch, for some therapy." - Ray Bentley

Jesse Palmer's next endeavor after ESPN analysis: The Jesse Palmer School for Kids Who Can't Read Good

Damn, AA, do you have more TV's going than my 2? Way to throw tennis in the mix.

Whoever the color guy is on the MI/Miami game...

"You kick a field goal here and you get yourself within another field goal of tying the game"

The score is 10-3 right now

"They are having a hard time getting to the Quarterback because of his elusivity." -Ray Bentley

(Thanks, Firefox spell check, I already realized that's not a word)

Pammie: "Right now they have their hands full of bobcats!"

It's not much...but everything she says is wrong.

CBS is pissing me off. Stop telling us that if we want to know the score of the other SEMIFINAL to go to their website.

You're job as a sportscaster/network on a live event is to keep us updated, not to endlessly promote your shitty website.

And an update because I gave in and went to the site... Murray won the first set, 6-2, and is trailing 4-5 in the second.
I lost alotta respect for CBS.

"You see him look to the right with his eyes right before the snap..."-Ray Bentley on Boeckman on the last TD

what else was he going to look with?

Bazooka- I can't believe that they are going to show the whole match on a delay. We all know what the score is and I can see it on the TV behind Dick Enberg right now!

Rick Walker:

"When it goes wrong, you gotta bring the butter."

WTF ?

I dont know if anyone picked this one up during the Ball State/Navy game last night but Chris Spielman said one of the Ball State players was

"big hipped and big rear ended"

"The goal for this team is a national championship, and if you can't get back a good MAC team in Ohio U, you aren't gonna get to the national championship" -- Chris Spielman

Wow I screwed my last comment up...

"The goal for this team is a national championship, and if you can't get past a good MAC team in Ohio U, you aren't gonna get to the national championship" -- Chris Spielman

Really?

Pam Ward, on Ohio U's Week 1 loss @ Wyoming: "...up in Laramie, which is always a tough place to play."

"If you're Solich, I think you have to punt this one....oh, wait, it's third down, never mind." - Ray
"Yeah, this isn't Canada. If we were in the CFL..." - Pam

"That's a lot of beef!" - Ray Bentley

Mike Hogewood also at GA Tech / BC:

"he was in pain and in pain after that pass."

Describing a play when the BC quarterback threw an interception, and got hit hard.

Nothing like having a homer like Chris Spielman on the sidelines for the Ohio State game.

After the wideout drops a Boo Jackson pass that he had to leap for:

"He was catching everything last week. I can't believe he's dropping easy passes like that." - Ray
"You think that's an easy pass?" - Pam
"Well, he got his hands up, that's what his hands are for." - Ray

NO FLAGS ON THE PUNT RETURN? There was a clear block in the back around the 50.

Ray Bentley dropping some douchiness: "That's what hands are for!" on a dropped ball

And Pam Ward: "A 48-yard return...correction, 69 yards."

Rick Walker after BC quarterback tackled in end zone for safety:

"Where is the magna cum laude the tight end on that play ?"

Rick, I know you played TE in the NFL, but come plugging your own position.

On the ensuing kickoff :

"GA Tech can take command here on this series."

Uh, the safety made it 16-12 BC, so if even GA Tech scored a touchdown (which they did), they would be up by 3. That was he PbP guy, not Walker.

Hockey is about the only sport where being up by 3 is a commanding lead.

Oh, and bazooka, we counted at least two illegal blocks on that B.S.

"They said they'll kick from 43 and in. This is 33, plus 7, 40, 50 yards." -Rick Walker I believe

Thanks for the math lesson... There's this thing they stress in elementary school called Mental Math

Check that, it was Hogewood.

"Did you that there's not one man in that group?" - Barry Tompkins, after John Jackson does a sideline report surrounded by gorgeous white women.

Just wondering, but how many times
did they mention that Ohio St was playing USC next week ? I figured the game would be used as an infomercial for next week.

[As the coaches shake hands at mid field with the clock winding under 20 seconds]
"The game isn't really over, but the crowd thinks it is as they file out of the stands." -I can't get the announcers straight in BC/GT... I think Walker

"It makes a defense have to defend everything." -Flutie on the Tyrod Taylor/Glennon platoon

"You have to play physically. Punch em in the mouth and hope they don't punch back. Not physically, but you need to play physically."
-Find a new word Dr. Lou

This is a great day for it to be raining and there be an away game. Everyone is on (or off) their game.

Lou Holtz to Mark May: "If I were a bartender I would tell you 'No more drinks!'". Discussing Ohio State v USC.

Brad Nessler: The kickoff goes and we're underway, it'll go out of bounds and Oregon State will have great field position:

Paul Maguire: It was a dud!

Brad Nessler: Exactly right, it was like lighting a firecracker on the 4th of July and nothing happens!

Correction: Bob Griese called it a dud, not Paul Maguire.

"San Diego State hasn't run the ball yet. Here's their first run of the game, and you can see maybe why they haven't run it. Loss of a yard." - Tom Hammond

Hayden to Hammond after a discussion of the new stadium grass:

"Can I rent you for New Years Eve, you know your useless information"

Don Munson on the Citadel-Clemson game after a holding penalty by Citadel:

"He (Citadel player) ate a lot of Kourtnei Brown's jersey"

"Touch Down San Diego State!"

Oh, wait. My bad. That's not a flub... Notre Dame just sucks.

"Washington up 21-0." - John Saunders

It's 21-14, but whatever.

"And Washington's up 21 to nothing."
-John Saunders

This game has been back and forth, and the score of 21-14 was on the screen in front of him.

He had some good penetration in the backfield.
-Tom Hammond

"A pickup of 14 moves the change for A &M" - Joe Beninati (Texas A&M-New Mexico on Versus)

Beninati again:

"The Aggies have come out with their hittin' shoes"

May I note that neither the commenter who mentioned the quote nor AA himself have spelled the last name of Ohio State linebacker James Laurinaitis correctly. Although, I have to admit it is a hard name to spell.

"Baker... all the way... Rodney Ferguson... 45 yards, I beg your pardon it was the big back." - Joe Beninati, seriously, your lucky you're not a big hockey guy down there in DC.

"And they [Washington] have to go for it here, they can't give it back....oh wait, it's third down, sorry." - Petros Papadakis

Guys, check the fucking down counter before you talk. Second color guy to do this today.

"Thought you knew something, huh?" - Barry Tompkins
"Yeah, I thought I did. I must have gotten screwed up when he changed the down marker." - Petros

The refs just gave the game to BYU. This is ridiculous.

The football gods don't like the city of Seattle. One of the worst calls ever.


Washington may very well not win 2 games this season......

"It is library quiet at Notre Dame Stadium." - Pat Haden
"I've been to libraries with more noise." - Tom Hammond

Pac-10 officiating. A glorious amount of stupidity.

Pac-10 gives games to the other team!


They should just disband the conference and have them play as independents.

"I think Houston Nutt wanted more time to come off the play clock before that timeout." -David Norrie

There were 2 seconds on the play clock when they called the TO. He was incessantly yelling and pointing at the play clock, like it wasn't reset...
And it took them 10 minutes until someone told them what happened to figure that out.

Just horrible.

Hayden "There were more people covering him than live in Calcutta"

The receiver was double covered.

Wow, big win for Notre Lame

After WV turned it over on downs -
Mike Patrick: "Better take that rifle away from the Mountaineer"

"What scares you when officials make those calls is that they can vote."
-Dr. Lou redeems himself for a day of ridiculousness

I need to find Johnny Holliday... Comcast is pissing me off with this Terps/Middle Tennessee broadcast.

Chick Hernandez and some guy that has some affiliation to MTSU and every sentence he's spoken has contained a first person pronoun referring to the Blue Raiders.

Random announcer is Kelly Holcomb, who I just heard the MTSU PA announcer describe as a "Football star."
BS.

"Oregon with a Route 66 on Utah. 66-24." - Rece Davis

Two things: First of all, it was Utah State, not Utah. Secondly, "a Route 66"???

Credit the Rece Davis one above to "Jfein". I accidentally hit the wrong button. Sorry.

Pam Ward makes me want to throw up.

Just wanted to add that for my last comment of the day.

From the end of the first half in the Buffalo at Pitt game.

Doug Graber: Pitt needs to call a timeout here so they can get up a hail mary!

John Sanders: Pitt is out of timeouts Doug.

After Robert Marve throws for Miami's first first down of the night:

Kirk Herbstreit: "It's like the little engine that could. I think I can I think I can...First Down! Move the sticks for the first time in the history of young Robert Marve's career moves the 'Canes into an opportunity to have another opportunity to a set of downs."

I'm just waiting for the Mavre was / was not marvelous line or somebody to pick up on the fact his
last name ryhmes with Favre.

Noah

Herbstreit is beside himself having to be in SEC country for the first two weeks of the season

I agree because he has to go back to the boring Big Ten at some point.

"Turner goes up top to Darrell Scott and it's knocked away... No, wait. He held on to it." -Chick Hernandez

Watch out Chick, those pump fakes are really tricky. I bet you can trick Chick with a tennis ball the same way you can with a dog.

great moment with corso on the sidelines and the cameraman tapping him on the shoulder.

"Superman does it again, but the Joker hung tough for a while."
--Brent Musburger

Superman does it again. But the Joker hung tough. - Musburger

"Superman got it done, but the Joker hung tough" - Musberger

Nice job mixing your superhero and villian.

Brent Musburger at the end of the Florida-Miami game "Superman wins again, but the Joker hung tough"

clearly someone doesn't read his comic books

"Superman does it again, but the Joker hung tough" - Musberger (who apparently needs to brush up on his DC Comics)

I wish I would have caught the quote word for word, but early in the Texas-UTEP contest, Mark Jones was talking about how big a game this was for the Miners and their fans. He goes on to say this contest gives them a chance to get "oiled up." What he was implying I don't even want to speculate.

I may have missed something as I just turned the game on, but Bob Davie just claimed that Colt McCoy "is facing his first adversity of the season" but Texas is winning 28-13 in the 3rd.

Showing the mountain next to the Sun Bowl, Mark Jones circles a couple and says:

"How do you ask your girl 'hey baby do you want to go to the game' and then take her up to the rock? I mean it's not like you got privacy up there"

Mark Jones just used the room service quote again. I honestly hate him more than Pam Ward.

He also said at the end of the third: "This is the biggest event here since the Stones. Well sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes you get what you need."
Bob Davie: "You've been waiting to get that one in."

Musburger's Superman / Joker quote has to be #1 for this week. I mean c'mon...the "Dark Knight" (which broke every box office record imaginable) came out less than 2 months ago. You would think with all the publicity and widespread acclaim it (and Ledger's character) got, even an idiot would be able to differentiate the two.

If that's not enough, consider 5 different people posted it here.

After watching college football on ESPN yesterday, it's making baseball on FOX (with Tim McCarver and Joe Buck) look downright cheerful.

@Sean - re: Mark Jones and the couple on the mountain

You realize she had her hand down his pants, right? And Bob Davie's comment about how they were clearly enjoying themselves? Priceless.

The video game simulation on the ESPN football field is a lot better than I thought it would be.

Andre Ware might just be the worst announcer in all of college football.

Mark Jones said Texas' appearance in the Sun City was the city's biggest event since Mick Jagger and the Stones played the Sun Bowl. True, but I thought my appearance in El Paso as an LDS missionary 5 years ago was worth something...